honestjane

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honestjane

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 667
  • Number of comments : 87
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About honestjane : I'm a police officer with 12 years of experience. I work 12 hour shifts that rotate day and night shift. My police department has some of the lowest paid officers in the region. On my days off I work extra duty jobs to make ends meet. I'm a single income household and have 2 kids that I work hard to support. I also just realized that if I commit a felony crime and go to prison I would get to see my kids more as a criminal than I do as a law enforcement officer.

honestjane's page activity

Visits<b>IJG2000</b> - the 05/12/2016 at 10:46pm<b>ThrottleJockey</b> - the 05/05/2016 at 7:39am<b>LittleRed79</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 1:09pm<b>buckstop1</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 3:54pm<b>JohnTheDonJuan</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 8:31pm<b>drbakhonlock</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 9:00am<b>tuxedoandex</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 7:53pm<b>ragingatheist</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 8:19am<b>sjwill100</b> - the 01/06/2014 at 11:46pm<b>Much2Much4U</b> - the 01/03/2014 at 10:51pm<b>max367</b> - the 12/10/2013 at 5:22pm<b>Sp4de</b> - the 09/26/2013 at 10:18pm<b>Borngemini77</b> - the 09/19/2013 at 11:45pm<b>gc327072</b> - the 09/19/2013 at 4:28pm<b>cptmorgan15</b> - the 09/19/2013 at 3:42pm<b>WiseGirl98</b> - the 08/13/2013 at 11:29pm<b>neeni88</b> - the 07/24/2013 at 11:32pm<b>perdix</b> - the 06/21/2013 at 1:46pm

Fucked!<b>tuxedoandex</b> - the 12/18/2014 at 1:53am

honestjane's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of honestjane's badges

honestjane's favorite FMLs

Today, the play I was directing opened. The curtain opened, and my lead actor and actress weren't prepared. I could tell from the looks on their faces as the whole audience saw him balls deep in her, doggy style, on stage. FML

by headinabag33 / 02/14/2016 at 8:57pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, as a priest's helper in church, I was giving Communion. It took me three people to realize that every time I was giving them the Eucharist, I was saying, "May the force be with you". FML

by sabz21 / 01/26/2014 at 11:37pm / United States (Connecticut) / Work

Today, my dad told me I was folding my laundry all wrong. I said with a smirk, "A little clothes-minded, are we?" He slapped me. Hard. FML

by fml / 09/03/2013 at 2:31am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my brother yelled at me, calling me a "no-good fucking whore", because I couldn't fix his laptop. The same laptop he threw on the floor after screaming "FUCKING HEAL MEEE!" at his game. As ever, my parents took his side, refusing to believe that I can't fix a cracked monitor. FML

by cunts, cunts everywhere / 03/11/2013 at 7:57am / Australia / Miscellaneous

Today, my wife packed my lunch. Inside of my lunchbox was a photo of her eating my sandwiches. FML

by Anonymous / 03/01/2013 at 2:18am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I managed to score a date for the first time in over a year, and was very nervous. When I was asked what I do for a living, I laughed nervously, and then blurted out, "Finger women." What I was trying to jokingly say was that I'm a gynecologist. FML

by notapervert / 02/28/2013 at 2:57am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by quietly undressing and sneaking into the bathroom to join him in the shower. He was bent over taking a dump, pushing his turd down the plughole. FML

by anony / 02/27/2013 at 8:49am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, a German guy came into the place where I work. Eager to use the German that I'd learned from my immigrant mother and her family, I started a conversation. Things were going well until the term I grew up thinking meant "Africa" turned out to be racist, translating as "Ape Land." FML

by Jan / 02/26/2013 at 11:50pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got stuck in traffic when a shootout started somewhere behind. I lowered myself and suddenly a bullet punctured a hole in the rear screen. When I managed to get away, I called my wife in a panic. She didn't pick up so I sent her a text about what just happened. Her reply: "K". FML

by n3ov / 02/25/2013 at 11:33pm / Pakistan (Islamabad) / Intimacy

Today, my brother paid the DJ $300 to ruin my wedding by playing the Imperial Death March as I walked down the aisle. FML

by Anonymous / 12/15/2012 at 3:52am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found the perfect opportunity to throw my husband a surprise party since he thought I was away on a business trip. He came home with a hooker. Surprise! FML

by happybirthday / 08/12/2012 at 1:49am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, I was digging in my lawn, trying to ignore the suspicious glances coming from my nosy fuckball of a neighbor. When he asked what I was doing, I replied with dripping sarcasm, that I was digging up the schoolkids I killed last year. Fifteen minutes later, the cops he called arrived. FML

by diggingaplotforone / 08/11/2012 at 7:47pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML

by 16590 / 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm / Sweden / Transportation

Today, I was joking around with my eight-year-old son. I told him to pull my finger. I farted, then laughed. He decided to try it on his mother. When she pulled his finger, he crapped his pants. He told her I taught him how to do it. FML

by habbsrule / 06/15/2012 at 10:21am / Canada / Kids

Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML

by Anonymous / 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm / France / Miscellaneous