honestjane

Search for a member

Offline (4 hours ago)

honestjane

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 728
  • Number of comments : 94
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About honestjane : I'm a police officer with 12 years of experience. I work 12 hour shifts that rotate day and night shift. My police department has some of the lowest paid officers in the region. On my days off I work extra duty jobs to make ends meet. I'm a single income household and have 2 kids that I work hard to support. I also just realized that if I commit a felony crime and go to prison I would get to see my kids more as a criminal than I do as a law enforcement officer.

honestjane's page activity

Visits<b>radquaza</b> - the 09/24/2016 at 11:21pm<b>Rais</b> - the 06/24/2016 at 8:54pm<b>Katdurin</b> - the 06/06/2016 at 4:22pm<b>IJG2000</b> - the 05/12/2016 at 10:46pm<b>ThrottleJockey</b> - the 05/05/2016 at 7:39am<b>LittleRed79</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 1:09pm<b>buckstop1</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 3:54pm<b>JohnTheDonJuan</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 8:31pm<b>drbakhonlock</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 9:00am<b>tuxedoandex</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 7:53pm<b>ragingatheist</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 8:19am<b>sjwill100</b> - the 01/06/2014 at 11:46pm<b>Much2Much4U</b> - the 01/03/2014 at 10:51pm<b>max367</b> - the 12/10/2013 at 5:22pm<b>Sp4de</b> - the 09/26/2013 at 10:18pm<b>Borngemini77</b> - the 09/19/2013 at 11:45pm<b>gc327072</b> - the 09/19/2013 at 4:28pm<b>cptmorgan15</b> - the 09/19/2013 at 3:42pm

Fucked!<b>tuxedoandex</b> - the 12/18/2014 at 1:53am

honestjane's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of honestjane's badges

honestjane's favorite FMLs

Today, the play I was directing opened. The curtain opened, and my lead actor and actress weren't prepared. I could tell from the looks on their faces as the whole audience saw him balls deep in her, doggy style, on stage. FML

by headinabag33 / 02/14/2016 at 8:57pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, as a priest's helper in church, I was giving Communion. It took me three people to realize that every time I was giving them the Eucharist, I was saying, "May the force be with you". FML

by sabz21 / 01/26/2014 at 11:37pm / United States (Connecticut) / Work

Today, my dad told me I was folding my laundry all wrong. I said with a smirk, "A little clothes-minded, are we?" He slapped me. Hard. FML

by fml / 09/03/2013 at 2:31am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my brother yelled at me, calling me a "no-good fucking whore", because I couldn't fix his laptop. The same laptop he threw on the floor after screaming "FUCKING HEAL MEEE!" at his game. As ever, my parents took his side, refusing to believe that I can't fix a cracked monitor. FML

by cunts, cunts everywhere / 03/11/2013 at 7:57am / Australia / Miscellaneous

Today, my wife packed my lunch. Inside of my lunchbox was a photo of her eating my sandwiches. FML

by Anonymous / 03/01/2013 at 2:18am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I managed to score a date for the first time in over a year, and was very nervous. When I was asked what I do for a living, I laughed nervously, and then blurted out, "Finger women." What I was trying to jokingly say was that I'm a gynecologist. FML

by notapervert / 02/28/2013 at 2:57am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by quietly undressing and sneaking into the bathroom to join him in the shower. He was bent over taking a dump, pushing his turd down the plughole. FML

by anony / 02/27/2013 at 8:49am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, a German guy came into the place where I work. Eager to use the German that I'd learned from my immigrant mother and her family, I started a conversation. Things were going well until the term I grew up thinking meant "Africa" turned out to be racist, translating as "Ape Land." FML

by Jan / 02/26/2013 at 11:50pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got stuck in traffic when a shootout started somewhere behind. I lowered myself and suddenly a bullet punctured a hole in the rear screen. When I managed to get away, I called my wife in a panic. She didn't pick up so I sent her a text about what just happened. Her reply: "K". FML

by n3ov / 02/25/2013 at 11:33pm / Pakistan (Islamabad) / Intimacy

Today, my brother paid the DJ $300 to ruin my wedding by playing the Imperial Death March as I walked down the aisle. FML

by Anonymous / 12/15/2012 at 3:52am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found the perfect opportunity to throw my husband a surprise party since he thought I was away on a business trip. He came home with a hooker. Surprise! FML

by happybirthday / 08/12/2012 at 1:49am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, I was digging in my lawn, trying to ignore the suspicious glances coming from my nosy fuckball of a neighbor. When he asked what I was doing, I replied with dripping sarcasm, that I was digging up the schoolkids I killed last year. Fifteen minutes later, the cops he called arrived. FML

by diggingaplotforone / 08/11/2012 at 7:47pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML

by 16590 / 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm / Sweden / Transportation

Today, I was joking around with my eight-year-old son. I told him to pull my finger. I farted, then laughed. He decided to try it on his mother. When she pulled his finger, he crapped his pants. He told her I taught him how to do it. FML

by habbsrule / 06/15/2012 at 10:21am / Canada / Kids

Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML

by Anonymous / 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm / France / Miscellaneous