hogman500

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hogman500

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2580
  • Number of comments : 21
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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hogman500's page activity

Visits<b>Mons</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 12:40am<b>natyemi15</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 4:56pm<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 10:04pm<b>threer</b> - the 02/17/2014 at 12:37pm<b>taylor21398</b> - the 01/30/2014 at 6:09am<b>oneofthosegirls</b> - the 01/29/2014 at 10:29pm<b>Knightchaser27</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 10:50am<b>Space_Teddy</b> - the 12/28/2013 at 5:03am<b>jojosch143</b> - the 12/02/2013 at 4:05pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 07/19/2013 at 10:01pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 06/06/2013 at 7:20pm<b>bettyboop428</b> - the 06/03/2013 at 6:08pm<b>Anner22</b> - the 05/28/2013 at 4:54pm<b>Jharrist89</b> - the 05/28/2013 at 4:15pm

hogman500's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of hogman500's badges

hogman500's favorite FMLs

Today, as always, I have Tourette's syndrome. It causes me to occasionally make a beeping noise. My boyfriend just figured out that if he beeps back, it makes me beep again. He thinks it's hilarious and won't stop. FML

by Beeper / 10/11/2014 at 3:07pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, my boyfriend and I were planning on having sex. He first excused himself to the bathroom, then returned with a sad face saying he had fumbled with himself in the bathroom to get "ready" and accidentally came. He said, "I was thinking of you though." FML

by hahaohyeahwow / 09/24/2014 at 12:24am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, as I was lying in my bed eating my dinner, my roommate says to me: "I don't know how to say this, but we need more towels. The room is flooding." FML

by youonlyneed2squares / 09/24/2014 at 12:10am / Miscellaneous

Today, some assface hacked my recently deceased friend's Facebook account. The person changed my friend's location to "Hell", then posted a status saying how hot the weather was, and replied "I wish :'(" to someone who'd said my friend was in a better place now. FML

by he's not the one going to hell / 09/12/2014 at 5:11pm / Australia / Geek

Today, I was called in over speakers at the airport. The man who was speaking clearly and nearly burst out laughing when he said my name. Soon, a few people around also snickered when they heard it. I had to wait five minutes before I could casually stand up. My last name is Bastard. FML

by poorbastard / 08/30/2014 at 4:35am / Canada (Quebec) / Transportation

Today, my 8 year old son asked me why he had to make his bed everyday if he would just use it again. I replied with, "You flush the toilet even though you're going to use it again, right?" He said, "Good point." Now he's not making his bed or flushing the toilet. FML

by sam_666777 / 08/29/2014 at 10:54pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, it was my great aunt's funeral. We all had to wait two hours for the service to begin, because they forgot to dig the grave. FML

by abbshows / 08/29/2014 at 2:54pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, after finally getting rid of an extremely rude, abusive customer, I muttered that I could kill people like her. I didn't know my manager had heard me, until a pair of police officers arrived. He'd reported me for "threatening to murder a customer". FML

by Anonymous / 08/29/2014 at 12:17pm / United Kingdom (Slough) / Work

Today, it's been a few months since my grandfather passed away. Now all of his porn subscriptions are getting forwarded to my address. FML

by dr.mantistobagon / 08/27/2014 at 6:03pm / United States (Vermont) / Intimacy

Today, as I got out the shower, my mom walked in to give me a towel, then quickly covered her eyes and said, "Woah, I almost saw your penis. Good things it's ridiculously small." I had friends over, and I'm pretty sure I'll hear about this for at least the next month. FML

by LolKaleb / 08/26/2014 at 11:02pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was watching the movie Frozen with my 8 year old daughter. I had seen it before, so I sung along with some of the songs. My daughter put a finger over my lips, said "Shhhhhhhhut the fuck up," then turned back to the TV, giggling. FML

by JackieD / 08/25/2014 at 2:05pm / United States (Washington) / Kids

Today, after a long silent and awkward pause after asking my girlfriend's dad if I can take her on holiday for Christmas, he looked me dead in the eyes and said "No, you may not impregnate my daughter." FML

by Dafuq happen there / 08/23/2014 at 3:34am / South Africa / Intimacy

Today, I tasted a perfectly salted, crispy, and dead carpenter ant hidden in my bag of pistachios. FML

by ReluctantAntEater / 08/21/2014 at 5:48pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

Today, my girlfriend took our prank war way too far and had a package sent to me at home. Confused, I opened it. It contained a dildo and a bottle of lube. I didn't know my dad was watching over my shoulder until I heard him choke on his coffee and felt it splash over my neck. FML

by Anonymous / 08/20/2014 at 5:03pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I got drunk, broke up with my girlfriend, and sent my grandma nude pics, thinking she was my girlfriend. Well, ex-girlfriend. FML

by Kev / 08/20/2014 at 1:53pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love