Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

hoeslikedicks

Online | Search for a member

hoeslikedicks

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Mississauga, Canada
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 25 November 1999 (15 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 171
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

hoeslikedicks's page activity

Visits<b>lil_c_03</b> - yesterday at 1:35pm<b>Misfitsfitin</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 2:14am<b>maria95aa</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 6:30am<b>swirlix</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 8:37pm<b>kmonda</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 7:40pm<b>blahblah005</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 1:14am<b>SecretSociety7</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 10:36pm<b>360momkeycrash</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 1:49am<b>abdiG</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 4:49pm<b>kristyB1664</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 11:40pm<b>BWong17</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 12:35am<b>roony83</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 1:32pm<b>jensbae</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 7:51am<b>hairissabear</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 11:16pm<b>alexandchase</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 10:33pm<b>butterfingers583</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 9:28pm<b>dreamingof</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 9:24pm<b>Gabygonzalez9211</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 10:19am

Fucked!<b>maria95aa</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 12:31pm<b>SecretSociety7</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 7:00am<b>hairissabear</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 5:16am<b>butterfingers583</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 3:29am<b>Gabygonzalez9211</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 4:19pm

hoeslikedicks's FML badges

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

See all of hoeslikedicks's badges

hoeslikedicks's favorite FMLs

Today, after being with my fiance for almost a decade, my future mother-in-law has been accusing me of being a gold digger because we want to buy a house together. She has conveniently forgotten her son was out of work for two years and I supported the both of us. FML

Today, I slept on the plane ride home and had a scary nightmare. I started screaming in my dream, so loud that it shocked the old lady sitting next to me into screaming as well. The whole plane began laughing as we were both screaming. FML

Today, my girlfriend of three weeks found the engagement ring I tried to give to my ex. She started crying and said yes. FML

Today, my vibrator was in another room and I was too lazy to get it. I was also too lazy to do it manually. It's like I've been married to myself for too long. FML

Today, I ate some amazing homemade brownies that my best friend's wife made for us. She waited till I'd shoved a third one into my mouth before she mentioned she made them with breast milk. Knowing her, I don't even doubt it was true. FML

#21014374
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44801) - you deserved it (4793)

On 01/02/2014 at 3:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Fife)

Today, my daughter and I were driving home when our truck broke down. A police officer stopped and offered to let me and my two year old sit in his car for the A/C. When we got in, I sat her on my lap, and she pulled down my tank top and screamed "Boobies!" right in front of the officer. FML

#20862202
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44529) - you deserved it (3969)

On 08/31/2013 at 7:48pm - kids - by embarrassedmom - United States

Today, my boyfriend asked me to meet his parents over Christmas. I was ecstatic. But there was one condition: I must go dressed as a girl since he hasn't worked up the nerve to come out to his parents yet. We've been dating for over a year. FML

#13876675
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40511) - you deserved it (12376)

On 11/17/2010 at 1:16pm - love - by neverdateaclosetcase (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was walking on a busy street. I saw this beautiful blonde walking across the street and a car was coming. I wanted to be like in the movies where the guy pushes the girl out of the way so she doesn't get hit. I accidentally pushed her the wrong way. Right into the car. FML

#5107087
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13069) - you deserved it (74472)

On 09/07/2009 at 3:21pm - misc - by ilovefootball (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went dirtbiking. While I was going down a hill, I spun out of control and flipped over my handle bars. I now have a sprained arm, multiple bruises and a crescent-shaped gash on my neck that looks like I was bitten. People are asking if my boyfriend and I were being frisky last night. FML

#2169497
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39230) - you deserved it (8370)

On 05/22/2009 at 12:39am - health - by crash (woman) - United States



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: