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hmmbrd77

Offline (the 06/26/2015 at 7:56pm) | Search for a member

hmmbrd77

0Fucked!

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hmmbrd77's page activity

Visits<b>ThaReaper319</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 5:37am

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hmmbrd77's favorite FMLs

Today, as I was about to orgasm while my boyfriend was giving me oral sex, I tightened my grip on his hair and began shouting his name. He stopped, looked up at me, and said, "What?" FML

#21431510
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24974) - you deserved it (3443)

On 06/24/2015 at 11:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after constant avoidance, I saw the man who slept with my mother and caused my parents to get divorced. I desperately wanted to punch him in the face, but instead I had to smile and shake his hand as he gave me my diploma. FML

#21431164
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33220) - you deserved it (2060)

On 06/24/2015 at 1:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, I realized I'm pregnant by a man who won't even accept my Facebook friend request. FML

#21429134
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21919) - you deserved it (17468)

On 06/20/2015 at 4:54pm - misc - by happycow122 (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, as I finished my piano recital and took a bow, I farted into the microphone. FML

#21428226
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29169) - you deserved it (3682)

On 06/18/2015 at 6:53pm - work - by fartypants - United States (Florida)

Today, my sister started a full-time job with a good pay despite having no prior work experience and being a college freshman. Meanwhile, I've graduated with two degrees, have been working two jobs for the last five years, and still can't get a full-time position anywhere. FML

#21427853
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27672) - you deserved it (2766)

On 06/17/2015 at 11:50pm - work - by Realworldred (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my mother got heartburn. She claimed she only gets heartburn when she is near a pregnant woman. She threatened to kick me out of the house if I didn't take a pregnancy test, despite there being no way I was pregnant. Turns out, I am pregnant, and my mother's ego has never been bigger. FML

#21427606
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29586) - you deserved it (8518)

On 06/17/2015 at 2:09pm - kids - by RecentCollegeGrad (woman) -

Today, while talking to my parents, I dropped an ordinary drinking glass. After I apologized and cleaned the mess, they told me that they had decided that if I couldn't be careful at home, I certainly couldn't be careful on the roads. They took away my keys. I'm 19. FML

#21426656
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26582) - you deserved it (2414)

On 06/15/2015 at 7:07pm - misc - by PatientlyDying (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was on a boat and I thought I saw a towel fly off, but it was actually my fricken dog. FML

#21426414
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30925) - you deserved it (4735)

On 06/15/2015 at 10:49am - animals - by justin Bieber - United States (Michigan)

Today, after 5 years in a row of my family doing absolutely nothing to even acknowledge my birthday, I got train tickets to see my boyfriend for the weekend and celebrate with him. I woke up to 6 angry texts about how I'm 'selfish' for not staying at home with my family. FML

#21426395
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31914) - you deserved it (2023)

On 06/15/2015 at 9:39am - misc - by happy21sttome (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I found out why my mother-in-law kept asking for one particular photo of our baby. She just wanted to show off the blanket that she had made to her friends on Facebook. Her first grandchild was almost completely cropped out of the picture. FML

Today, I started my new job at a haunted house. I figured I'd change clothes when I got home, since my bloody shirt and zombie makeup were blatantly just an outfit. I barely made it 10 minutes before I was pinned to the ground at gunpoint, cuffed, and needing new underwear. FML

#21425418
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25028) - you deserved it (2431)

On 06/13/2015 at 11:47am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I was invited to an adult toy party with co-workers. They started by playing a game called 'Never Ever Have I Ever' about everyone's sexual exploits. My mother is a co-worker. I can never un-hear what I heard. FML

#21425174
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27681) - you deserved it (5750)

On 06/12/2015 at 9:22pm - intimacy - by silverspud - United States (Colorado)

Today, I got a Brazilian wax in anticipation of becoming intimate for the first time this weekend with a man I have dated for a few weeks. I'm so sore it hurts just to walk. FML

#21424841
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23403) - you deserved it (6654)

On 06/12/2015 at 2:50am - intimacy - by Pattie (woman) - United States (California)

Today, our mouse problem finally started to go away. Now we have a snake problem. FML

#21423927
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22634) - you deserved it (1797)

On 06/10/2015 at 1:55pm - misc - by Eisenhorn (man) - United States

Today, my husband and I broke the news to my 10-year-old son that in about 8 months, he'll have a baby brother or sister. I knew he never wanted a sibling, but I didn't expect him to throw a tantrum, then look at me through teary eyes and scream, "Why can't you keep your fucking legs closed?" FML

#21423894
315 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34915) - you deserved it (6950)

On 06/10/2015 at 12:13pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)



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