himoonkey

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Offline (the 09/07/2014 at 3:56am)

himoonkey

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 3 October 1975 (40 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1229
  • Number of comments : 187
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About himoonkey : Derp
Herp

himoonkey's page activity

Visits<b>Aukrenchi</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 11:25am<b>jade_midori</b> - the 12/20/2015 at 6:09pm<b>Sexomancer</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 2:24am<b>One_Way</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 11:50pm<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 8:40pm<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 9:31pm<b>3051628</b> - the 11/03/2014 at 10:39pm<b>teentee401</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 11:18pm<b>Celestial_Dreams</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 4:44pm<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 3:04pm<b>alexmisty88</b> - the 05/17/2014 at 1:27am<b>QueenoftheNerds</b> - the 05/05/2014 at 1:35pm<b>swervebot</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 4:04pm<b>ClumsySpacecow</b> - the 02/19/2014 at 2:34am<b>guineagirl</b> - the 12/22/2013 at 3:38pm<b>xbaumann</b> - the 10/15/2013 at 1:40am<b>Joemcmuffinz69</b> - the 10/13/2013 at 7:03pm<b>nessalouise</b> - the 06/30/2013 at 2:46pm

himoonkey's FML badges

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of himoonkey's badges

himoonkey's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out I have a kidney infection. Now I'm forced to drink at least 4 glasses of water before going to bed. I also have to be woken up every two hours to be told to, "GO PEE BEFORE YOU DIE!" by my mother. FML

by hottygirl905 / 04/24/2012 at 7:50am / United States (Florida) / Health

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started to go down on me. In excitement, I accidentally drove a knee into his face. No amount of fondling his diddlestick made him forgive me for his bloody nose and swollen eye. FML

by Anonymous / 03/16/2012 at 4:23pm / Ireland / Intimacy

Today, I went swimming in a pond. I came out covered in leeches. Terrified, I screamed, flailed about and cried out for help until half a dozen people ran over. One of them was kind enough to point out that those leeches I was so afraid of were actually patches of mud. FML

by asdfBUTT / 03/05/2012 at 8:36pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML

by ugh / 01/30/2012 at 7:25pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, while pulling into my driveway, I slightly bumped into something. My wife. I'll be sleeping on the couch for a while. FML

by godhatesme / 12/10/2011 at 3:45am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I got trapped in an elevator with a chicken. FML

by Anonymous / 11/24/2011 at 5:35am / United Kingdom / Work

Today, my boyfriend told me that if I ever cheated on him, he'll chop my body up and dispose of all the parts, but keep my boobies, because he likes them. FML

by Faithful / 11/24/2011 at 5:01am / Singapore / Intimacy

Today, I took a major test, worth half my grade, not realizing that there were questions on the back of the sheet. FML

by Anonymous / 11/08/2011 at 12:58pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I scored the winning goal in my soccer tournament. For the other team. FML

Today, I sent my grandma a naked picture instead of my girlfriend. While attempting to delete it, I sent it again. FML

by me / 11/04/2011 at 12:38am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, at the nail salon, a Korean woman was making fun of me. I kindly told her, in Korean, that I understood. She kindly told me, in English, that she didn't care. FML

by EunJung / 11/03/2011 at 8:16pm / United States / Work

Today, I found out that absentmindedly correcting my boss' use of the word "whom" could result in my immediate termination. FML

by LuckyLoser9 / 11/03/2011 at 11:44am / United States / Work

Today, at work, I met a new client for the first time. Apparently he thought it would be a good idea to get drunk beforehand and spend the whole appointment telling me about his 9 inch "drill bit." I have to try and find this guy a job. FML

by grossedout / 09/08/2011 at 2:34am / Reserved / Intimacy

Today, my sister was on shrooms. I wasn't able to tackle her before she called the cops to say that her books were trying to eat her face off. FML

by ugh annoying / 07/01/2011 at 3:41am / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was working the drive-thru at McDonalds, and as I handed out a Diet coke to the customer, the man started growling and yelled "HULK SMASH!" He smashed the cup with two fists and drove off. I was drenched in soda. FML

by Sam / 06/24/2011 at 12:46am / Canada (Alberta) / Work