About heymoon : I lurk.
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heymoon's favorite FMLs
Today, when I excitedly announced to my mother-in-law that I was pregnant, she looked at me with a blank expression and asked me who the father was. She's 45. She's not senile or suffering from dementia, but apparently just suffering from being a chronic bitch. FML
by littlelottie / 01/17/2012 at 12:04pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, I started my new job as a dishwasher, and was very excited since I've been broke for weeks. A few people dined and dashed, apparently for the first time in the restaurant's history. My boss is superstitious. She fired me. FML
by broke / 01/17/2012 at 11:08am / Canada (Ontario) / Work
by Lea / 01/16/2012 at 3:18pm / Denmark (Sjelland) / Miscellaneous
by lolwut / 01/15/2012 at 1:17pm / United States / Intimacy
by Duplighost / 01/12/2012 at 3:16pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy
Today, my five-year-old daughter told me she was going to throw up. I told her to rush to the bathroom. I followed her a few seconds later, only to find her sitting on the toilet and vomiting onto the floor. FML
by espylone / 12/17/2011 at 10:42am / France / Kids
by fmll / 12/17/2011 at 8:17am / Norway (Hordaland) / Love
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting intimate and planning on having sex for the first time. I picked her up off the couch, and in so doing, accidentally lifted her too high, putting her head through the ceiling. She had a mild concussion. FML
by Ouch / 04/25/2011 at 3:31pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by notsolucky / 02/12/2011 at 10:01am / Canada (Ontario) / Work
by Jaws / 02/10/2011 at 11:09am / France (Alsace) / Miscellaneous
Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by creating an account on Runescape; his favorite game. After finding him in-game, I started talking to him, not revealing who I was. After a while, I asked him if he had a girlfriend. He promptly said no and asked me for nude pics. FML
by Samyett / 02/09/2011 at 2:22pm / United States / Love
Today, to give the illusion that I have friends, I wrote an outrageous status on Facebook, and then pretended it was the result of a friend hacking my page, all in the hope that it would get comments, likes or at least some attention. Nothing happened. FML
by Anonymous / 02/09/2011 at 5:02am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/09/2011 at 12:19am / Australia (Western Australia) / Intimacy
by blah blah daddy / 10/02/2010 at 7:08pm / United States (California) / Kids
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…