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heymoon

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heymoon
  • Town/Country : Canada
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 19 November 1995 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 1972
  • Number of comments : 16
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About heymoon : I lurk.

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heymoon's favorite FMLs

Today, when I excitedly announced to my mother-in-law that I was pregnant, she looked at me with a blank expression and asked me who the father was. She's 45. She's not senile or suffering from dementia, but apparently just suffering from being a chronic bitch. FML

#18834443
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32879) - you deserved it (2875)

On 01/17/2012 at 12:04pm - misc - by littlelottie - United States (Florida)

Today, I started my new job as a dishwasher, and was very excited since I've been broke for weeks. A few people dined and dashed, apparently for the first time in the restaurant's history. My boss is superstitious. She fired me. FML

#18834092
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25802) - you deserved it (1731)

On 01/17/2012 at 11:08am - work - by broke - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my kitchen nearly burned down because the fire alarm didn't detect the plumes of smoke wafting through the kitchen. This is the same alarm that wails when I use the toaster. FML

#18825531
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23050) - you deserved it (2097)

On 01/16/2012 at 3:18pm - misc - by Lea (woman) - Denmark (Sjelland)

Today, I switched from pads to tampons. It took me several botched attempts trying insert one before I succeeded, and now I feel like I've just raped myself. FML

#18814672
325 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32734) - you deserved it (11618)

On 01/15/2012 at 1:17pm - intimacy - by lolwut - United States

Today, my girlfriend's Marine dad walked in on us fooling around naked. Now we can only hang out with "parental supervision". Oh, and I have to record my visits on a clipboard by the door. FML

#18785732
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18836) - you deserved it (31849)

On 01/12/2012 at 3:16pm - intimacy - by Duplighost (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my five-year-old daughter told me she was going to throw up. I told her to rush to the bathroom. I followed her a few seconds later, only to find her sitting on the toilet and vomiting onto the floor. FML

#18534964
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28474) - you deserved it (5529) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/17/2011 at 10:42am - kids - by espylone - France

Today, my boyfriend texted me and said I had forgotten my blue bra. I don't have any blue bras. FML

#18534349
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35541) - you deserved it (2729)

On 12/17/2011 at 8:17am - love - by fmll - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting intimate and planning on having sex for the first time. I picked her up off the couch, and in so doing, accidentally lifted her too high, putting her head through the ceiling. She had a mild concussion. FML

#15921187
376 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34037) - you deserved it (18092)

On 04/25/2011 at 3:31pm - intimacy - by Ouch (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I told my boss I was too sick to come to work. He asked if I had a late night so I told him I stayed in. Apparently I ran into him at a bar last night and was too drunk to remember it. FML

#15647734
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8039) - you deserved it (49042)

On 04/05/2011 at 3:30am - work - by randa -

Today, I woke up at 11:11am. I was happy because I thought it was a sign that it was going to be a good day. I then realized that I was over an hour late for a job interview. FML

#14947981
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8416) - you deserved it (22571)

On 02/12/2011 at 10:01am - misc - by notsolucky (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got slapped in the face by my girlfriend with a banana skin, because I finished up the chocolate cake. FML

#14921394
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9696) - you deserved it (31990)

On 02/10/2011 at 11:09am - misc - by Jaws (man) - France (Alsace)

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by creating an account on Runescape; his favorite game. After finding him in-game, I started talking to him, not revealing who I was. After a while, I asked him if he had a girlfriend. He promptly said no and asked me for nude pics. FML

#14909703
336 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49073) - you deserved it (13032)

On 02/09/2011 at 2:22pm - love - by Samyett (woman) - United States

Today, to give the illusion that I have friends, I wrote an outrageous status on Facebook, and then pretended it was the result of a friend hacking my page, all in the hope that it would get comments, likes or at least some attention. Nothing happened. FML

#14906275
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10483) - you deserved it (38942)

On 02/09/2011 at 5:02am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I finally found out whether or not my boyfriend is cheating on me. Turns out he isn't. He is cheating on his wife, with me. FML

#14904173
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42554) - you deserved it (5527)

On 02/09/2011 at 12:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I picked up my four year old son from daycare. As I was putting him in his car seat, I asked him if he had fun. He yelled, "Shut it, bitch!" FML

#13293107
346 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36557) - you deserved it (8903)

On 10/02/2010 at 7:08pm - kids - by blah blah daddy - United States (California)



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