heyitsjacqueline

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heyitsjacqueline

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 20 January 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2235
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About heyitsjacqueline : Jacqueline Marie
junior @ Michigan State University.
releaseyourheart.tumblr.com

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LIKES: writing, long bike rides, photography, Toronto, raspberry Smirnoff, cuddling, music, hugs, dogs, peach Seagrams, wearing dresses, summer, sunrises, pop culture, good sex, rain, dancing, blanket forts, movies.

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Breathe it all in, love it all out. Life is beautiful.

heyitsjacqueline's page activity

Visits<b>FyeahPoet</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 2:42pm<b>jreaso01</b> - the 08/19/2011 at 2:48am<b>demetrius19</b> - the 02/11/2011 at 8:04pm<b>jb002873</b> - the 08/20/2010 at 12:03pm<b>bongsewer</b> - the 08/18/2010 at 10:18pm<b>btmicm</b> - the 08/17/2010 at 4:00pm<b>That_Guy_Jake_JR</b> - the 08/17/2010 at 12:09am<b>Young_Sparta</b> - the 08/29/2009 at 4:32am

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heyitsjacqueline's favorite FMLs

Today, I fell into a hole. And by hole, I mean a sewer. FML

by Anonymous / 05/16/2012 at 6:45am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, whenever I do something that the kid I am babysitting likes, he pats me on the head and says "good girl". I'm whipped by a seven year old. FML

by Anonymous / 07/19/2011 at 2:03pm / United States / Kids

Today, a group of girl-scouts came to my door selling chocolate bars. I bought 2 bars and smiled as they left, thinking I'd done a good deed. When the door closed, I heard one of the girls say, "Told you, the fat bitches always wanna buy from us." FML

by hatemylife / 07/19/2011 at 2:24am / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, while registering at the grocery store, a customer came into my lane with a 100 piece boiled shrimp platter. Feeling hungry, I muttered "nom nom" under my breath. The old man called my supervisor. Apparently I called him a moron. FML

by Anonymous / 12/20/2010 at 12:02am / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, I was trying to swat a wasp in my bedroom. I got so frustrated that I ended up punching myself in the face. The wasp is still here, and now I look like I've been in a brawl. FML

by Anonymous / 12/18/2010 at 6:47pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I was helping an older lady return her previously bought items to customer service. As she walked away and said "Thanks," I tried to say "You're welcome" and "No problem" at the same time. I ended up saying "Your problem". She scowled at me. FML

by romedizzle / 11/24/2010 at 4:52am / Canada (Alberta) / Work

Today, I was skiing in Vermont for the third day straight. Since I was getting very little sleep, on the top of the chairlift I let out a huge yawn, pulling a muscle in my face. As I slid down the ramp, everyone saw me thrashing my head around and making funny, painful faces as I fell down. FML

by Floof / 02/15/2010 at 8:35am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Holidays

Today, as I got into an elevator, I spotted a little old lady hobbling desperately to get on. I frantically tapped on the 'door open' button but the doors closed. I got dirty looks from the people in the lift, only then did I realise I had frantically tapped the 'door close' button instead. FML

by ElevatorThug / 08/25/2009 at 5:17am / Singapore / Miscellaneous

Today, I took a cute girl out to an arcade date, and mercilessly dominated her in every game there, to the point she refused to talk to me afterwards. Gamer Pride: 1 - Getting Laid: 0. FML

by razgriz1 / 08/20/2009 at 1:45am / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. After about 10 minutes, while we changed positions, he shouts, "Power Rangers - It's Morphin' Time!" FML

by Anonymous / 08/18/2009 at 7:45pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, I asked my aunt to pluck my eyebrows since hers are perfectly done. What I didn't know is she gets hers professionally shaped and she doesn't know how to shape eyebrows. I now look like a surprised Vulcan. FML

by Anonymous / 08/17/2009 at 6:11pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was working in a warehouse where fellow employees were kicking empty boxes around. Seeing a box, I got running distance and kicked it as hard as I could, only to look up in horror to see that I had kicked into our CEO's face. I still had both my arms up in score mode. FML

by zwillywilly / 08/10/2009 at 12:03am / United States (Massachusetts) / Work

Today, while working at my life guard job, I noticed a girl bouncing on one foot over to the pool. Afraid she would trip, I whistled at her and harshly yelled "NO running or messing around on the pool deck!" She removed her towel, revealing her legs. Or leg, she only had one. FML

by ugh.. / 08/09/2009 at 11:27am / United States (Alaska) / Kids

Today, while in the shower, my roomates thought it would be really funny if they threw my cat in with me. The doctor who gave me the stitches also thought so. FML

by N1ch0la1 / 08/08/2009 at 5:35am / South Africa (Western Cape) / Animals

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. Halfway through he asked me what day it was. I told him, "Friday." He jumped up and ran over to the TV yelling, "Oh my God! Shark week is almost over!!" I was cock-blocked by the Discovery Channel. FML

by Anonymous / 08/07/2009 at 11:16am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy