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hellphone's favorite FMLs
by me / 11/04/2011 at 12:38am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by fmlifer / 11/04/2011 at 12:29am / United States (California) / Love
by KayleeXLoVe21 / 11/03/2011 at 7:48pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by oneillrox / 11/03/2011 at 4:06pm / United States (New Jersey) / Money
Today, while I was shopping, I saw my old friend from high school. After a bit of talking, I ended up giving her my phone number. I wrote it on an old receipt. Little did I remember, the receipt was from when I bought lube and condoms. FML
by snownerd / 11/03/2011 at 12:13pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 11/03/2011 at 3:29am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
Today, I was invited to a party to celebrate my ex-fiancée's recent engagement. The party is at work, because my ex is also my boss. Her new fiancée is some guy she met while on a "business trip" that happened while we were still engaged. FML
by lebowski101 / 11/02/2011 at 9:45pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love
Today, I completed the arduous, nearly hour-long process of answering the eHarmony dating questionnaire, only to be told my answers were too "unique" for them to match me with anyone. I had chosen "the world" as my distance range. FML
by DrakeScott / 11/02/2011 at 2:14pm / United States (Maine) / Love
Today, I came home from school, only to find I was locked out. The cars were all there, but no one was in. It wasn't until I heard continuous banging from my parents' window that it clicked. They locked me out for over an hour in freezing weather just to have sex. FML
by miley098 / 11/02/2011 at 12:37pm / United Kingdom (London) / Intimacy
Today, after 3 years, I saw my ex, who I still love, at a coffee shop. Being nice, I said hi. He turned around, looked at me, and said, "Thank God I broke up with you. You look like a hot mess!" before getting up and walking out with his model girlfriend. FML
by brie / 11/02/2011 at 12:01pm / United States (California) / Love
by S. Bauer / 11/02/2011 at 9:50am / Portugal / Love
Today, I went to my boyfriend's apartment to break up with him since he's always busy, and I haven't seen or spoke to him in almost 2 months. I arrived to find out from his landlord that he'd moved out 3 weeks ago, leaving a note saying that we were over. FML
by melikeyturtles / 11/02/2011 at 1:21am / United States / Love
by heatherjo / 11/02/2011 at 12:49am / United States / Love
Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, I heard a notification on my iPhone. I thought nothing of it until we were done, and then I checked it out. My mom had posted on my Facebook, telling me that if I didn't keep it down, she was going to come up to my room. FML
by ugadawgs09 / 11/02/2011 at 12:32am / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy
Today, I was trying to get my boyfriend in the mood so I held his hands against the bed, and whispered, "Have you been a bad boy?" Thinking he'd say something kinky back, he replied "Yes Santa" then burst out laughing. FML
by HOe HOe HOe / 11/01/2011 at 10:36pm / United States (Hawaii) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…