helloimclaudia

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Offline (the 07/18/2016 at 7:50pm)

helloimclaudia

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helloimclaudia
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 8 November 1996 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2073
  • Number of comments : 59
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About helloimclaudia : About me:
I'm a nineteen year old girl from The Netherlands. I speak Dutch, English, a little bit of French and a little bit of German. One of my goals is learning Spanish.
Right now, I'm in the fifth, and last, class of high school. (For the dutch people, 5 havo.) You could say that I'm in senior year.

helloimclaudia's page activity

Visits<b>Altairae</b> - the 05/31/2016 at 6:39pm<b>BonerFart</b> - the 05/14/2016 at 12:45pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/29/2016 at 9:10am<b>tigerthepredator</b> - the 03/15/2016 at 4:44pm<b>lombcover</b> - the 03/11/2016 at 8:59am<b>starlandmarie</b> - the 03/04/2016 at 7:52pm<b>TheGamingGamer</b> - the 02/20/2016 at 11:12pm<b>haiku575</b> - the 02/16/2016 at 1:01am<b>C7</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 5:41pm<b>Guy1009</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 4:12pm<b>AnagenisisZagus</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 10:51am<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 7:36am<b>elizabeth_black</b> - the 01/16/2016 at 11:01am<b>Arieslink</b> - the 01/05/2016 at 10:16pm<b>Lachen36</b> - the 01/05/2016 at 7:23pm<b>Lalala579121</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 2:35am<b>DaBayst</b> - the 12/27/2015 at 10:40pm<b>theaccountant</b> - the 12/27/2015 at 3:49pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/29/2016 at 3:10pm<b>elizabeth_black</b> - the 01/16/2016 at 5:01pm<b>man_in_black08</b> - the 11/14/2014 at 7:26pm

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helloimclaudia's favorite FMLs

Today, I was going through my daughter's contacts, except all of them had names from Harry Potter. I found the name "Mom." I was relieved I didn't have some silly name, until I realized it wasn't my number; it was her father's new wife. My number was under "Voldemort." FML

by Jill / 06/15/2013 at 12:19am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML

by Anonymous / 06/07/2013 at 3:10am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, whilst driving past a cyclist, I thought it would be funny to make him jump by blasting my horn right behind him and then driving off. I guess he thought it would be funny to catch up with me, yank off my wing-mirror, and hurl it through the open window at my face. FML

Today, I was in a bathroom stall and I accidentally dropped my new tampon on the ground. Just as I was about to reach for it, I heard a voice on the other side of the stall say, "Oh great, I needed that" and then a hand reached under my stall and grabbed it. It was my last one. FML

by the girl next door / 05/07/2013 at 1:10am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked into the living room to find my 11-year-old daughter about to kiss her "not my boyfriend" on the lips. When I asked what she thought she was doing, she peeled a piece of scotch tape off her lips and said, "It's okay! We're using protection." FML

by wtfmama / 05/04/2013 at 8:51am / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids

Today, it was raining heavily so I wore my black poncho as I walked to work. On the way there I noticed an old and seemingly homeless man following me. I turned around to confront him. He picked up a stick and screamed "Expecto Patronum!" Apparently I look like a dementor. FML

by Anna L. / 03/24/2013 at 8:23pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend donated most of my book collection because she got me a Kindle for Christmas. Some were signed, including my Harry Potters. FML

by Anonymous / 12/27/2012 at 11:31pm / United States / Love

Today, my daughter had a meltdown when I told her I donated some of her old toys to Goodwill. It turns out Toy Story has taught her that toys have feelings and that she has a meaningful relationship with them. She's in her teens. FML

by susan / 11/17/2012 at 5:31pm / United States (Illinois) / Kids

Today, I found a limp head of celery in the fridge. I thought it looked like the squid alien baby from Men in Black. After nursing it for a couple of hours, giving it food, and rocking it to sleep, my parents found me. Then I realised it was just celery. Too bad it took that long for my meds to kick in. FML

by Squid / 11/07/2012 at 12:11am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, my daughter called me telling me she had her twin girls. She named them Juli and Anne. Her name is Julianne. Her kids are going to fucking hate her. FML

by poorkids / 10/31/2012 at 1:01am / United States (Washington) / Kids

Today, over a family dinner, my husband and I told everyone that I'm pregnant. My father frowned and said, "Again?", my 9-year-old daughter started crying, and her brother smirked and yelled, "Up the ass, no babies!" FML

by Anonymous / 10/28/2012 at 12:44pm / United States / Kids

Today, I saw a folder on my son's PC named "PussyPictures". I sat him down for a talk, only to be told they contained pictures of the James Bond character Pussy Galore, for his essay about sexism in movies. He's now mocking me for "having a dirty mind". FML

by Anonymous / 10/27/2012 at 3:28pm / Germany (Bayern) / Kids

Today, in the middle of sex, my boyfriend sighed, said "I can't do this any more" and pulled out. After repeatedly asking him what was wrong, he basically told me that I suck in bed. Apparently, the way I "just lie there" makes him feel like a necrophile. FML

by Anonymous / 09/28/2012 at 5:22pm / Canada / Intimacy

Today, I walked in to my apartment to see my husband sitting there with his toes painted pink. When I asked him why, he said, "I wanted to feel pretty." This is the man who is about to be the father of my child. FML

by cmc9540 / 09/26/2012 at 10:14pm / United States (New York) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was so bored that I actually read the iTunes store's terms and conditions. FML

by cardsftw / 08/16/2012 at 3:50pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous