Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

heinous966

Offline (the 01/16/2015 at 8:35pm) | Search for a member

heinous966

2Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3781
  • Number of comments : 57
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 27 posted

About heinous966 : I'm slightly obsessed with Star Trek.

heinous966's page activity

Visits<b>tchatfield9413</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 8:14am<b>petrine</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 4:30pm<b>RichHomieAlec</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 7:34pm<b>kudoosh</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 11:11am<b>thesnypist8</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 12:15am<b>Lukin</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 1:22pm<b>oops6663</b> - the 01/06/2015 at 4:03pm<b>mrlawlor7777</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 10:42pm<b>Zebediabolical</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 6:29pm<b>brook823</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 8:48pm<b>dengleh</b> - the 12/19/2014 at 12:49am<b>slayertack</b> - the 12/10/2014 at 1:09pm<b>andrew130</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 3:52pm<b>LegitxNuke</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 11:34pm<b>boomHEADSHOTllll</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 6:34pm<b>Ahsome</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 12:24am<b>WeenyHutGeneral</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 8:46am<b>scottyboy417</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 3:16pm

Liked!<b>douglas423</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 1:47am<b>thesnypist8</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 7:32am

heinous966's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of heinous966's badges

heinous966's favorite FMLs

Today, I accidentally walked in on my mom cheating on my step-dad with my real dad. FML

Today, I was babysitting a 9-year-old kid, when she got thirsty and asked for a drink. All I could find was some kind of Mexican fruit drink, but I didn't realize until too late that it was actually hard liquor. I had to scrub her mouth out with toothpaste and put her to bed to cover it all up. FML

#21116530
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26405) - you deserved it (44594)

On 04/18/2014 at 5:31pm - kids - by cantprovenothing (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my overly-attached 14-year-old cat wanted attention while I was in a heated Skype argument with my girlfriend. Worked up from the fight, I raised my voice and said, "Not now, go away!" He ran to his little bed, had a heart attack and died. I was a complete dick to my cat in his last moments. FML

#21108570
359 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65409) - you deserved it (32759)

On 04/09/2014 at 2:40pm - animals - by Brody89 (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my obsession with saying "your mom" reached a new level when my anatomy teacher asked what I did with my pencil. FML

#21108224
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19484) - you deserved it (45000)

On 04/09/2014 at 1:17am - misc - by Motha - United States (Utah)

Today, my 14-year-old son's pathetic rebellion came to a head. He ran away from home, leaving a note saying he hates me and was leaving forever to be part of a gang his friends had formed. He came back an hour later crying. His whole gang had gotten mugged, which he somehow blamed me for. FML

#21102946
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49124) - you deserved it (6068)

On 04/02/2014 at 4:10pm - kids - by I Have Failed (man) - Spain (Madrid)

Today, I was at a wedding reception with loud music. A guy told me that his sister couldn't be there because she "went home to be with her boy." I said, "That's too bad, she's missing a great party." He paused and repeated, "She went home to be with her LORD." FML

#21100696
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33662) - you deserved it (4324)

On 03/31/2014 at 12:43am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I wanted to try seducing my boyfriend by having nothing but a t-shirt on for when he'd get back from work. He came home, saw me, apologized bashfully for failing to knock first, and went back outside. FML

#21097985
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43635) - you deserved it (6521)

On 03/27/2014 at 7:10pm - love - by oops (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was at Walmart and had to use the bathroom. I sat down and farted real loud. I didn't realize someone was in there with me until I heard a voice say, "Dude, that was a good one." It was a man's voice. I then realized I was in the men's restroom. FML

#21095689
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48083) - you deserved it (12237)

On 03/24/2014 at 11:39pm - misc - by dani (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was ordering a pizza over the phone. When the guy asked for my order, I yelled "Hey, you guys wanted pepperoni, right?" In reality, I was yelling this to my cat. College hasn't made me many friends so far. FML

#21095295
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40825) - you deserved it (7961)

On 03/24/2014 at 4:01pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, my drunken self became a vaguely racist poet. I am now the author of a four-page poem entitled "Chocolate Men". FML

#21094789
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30349) - you deserved it (16220)

On 03/23/2014 at 11:40pm - misc - by chocochoco - United States (New York)

Today, my non-English-speaking grandma bought me a new t-shirt. It would've been sweet if it didn't have the word "bondage" written on the back in pretty, bold letters. I had no choice but to wear it while we went shopping. FML

#21094283
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34667) - you deserved it (3338)

On 03/23/2014 at 12:59pm - misc - by Anonymous - Egypt

Today, my boyfriend stormed out after I suggested to him that his relationship with his mother is maybe a little weird. Apparently having regular, hour-long phone discussions about your penis is a perfectly normal thing for a 23-year-old to have with his mother. FML

#21089774
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53990) - you deserved it (6535)

On 03/18/2014 at 5:14am - intimacy - by tiredofcrazy (woman) - Australia

Today, I marched in the St. Patrick's day parade. My horn has an inconveniently-placed spit valve that has to be drained frequently. At the end, I discovered every time I emptied it, it would spray all over the front of my pants. I marched an entire parade looking like I pissed my pants. FML

#21089223
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33780) - you deserved it (4937)

On 03/17/2014 at 5:48pm - misc - by Bandking (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I followed my wife out, since she's been acting strangely lately and I was suspicious. She met up with a guy at a restaurant, who she later claimed was her brother. Either she's cheating on me, or it's tradition in her family to make out and grope each other at the end of meals. FML

#21087493
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57104) - you deserved it (4389)

On 03/15/2014 at 5:48pm - love - by broken vows (man) - Canada (Ontario)



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #12
  • Another month, another bunch of shitposts. Yes, it's time to delve into the postbag and have another look at the weird and wonderful stuff we've been sent by people from all over the world. Hope you…

Tuesday 3 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: