Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Offline (the 01/16/2015 at 8:35pm) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5204
  • Number of comments : 57
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 27 posted

About heinous966 : I'm slightly obsessed with Star Trek.

heinous966's page activity

Visits<b>Celeden</b> - the 11/22/2015 at 10:03am<b>silentseries</b> - the 11/20/2015 at 11:29am<b>threer</b> - the 11/14/2015 at 11:44pm<b>ncbb5</b> - the 11/12/2015 at 1:00pm<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 10/27/2015 at 7:58am<b>Hellafied97</b> - the 10/23/2015 at 7:40pm<b>SaniK</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 11:30pm<b>minimanion</b> - the 10/13/2015 at 11:45pm<b>paravoz</b> - the 09/19/2015 at 2:10am<b>Trollx</b> - the 09/14/2015 at 7:57am<b>hullarms</b> - the 09/01/2015 at 12:56pm<b>CallMeSpaholla</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 2:04pm<b>FusionPlacebo</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 7:54am<b>Rynardhell</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 8:30pm<b>Michaelsupset</b> - the 08/16/2015 at 5:37pm<b>alliepatches12</b> - the 08/11/2015 at 4:51pm<b>Apostolos_T</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 8:46am<b>getindoe69</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 4:03am

Fucked!<b>paravoz</b> - the 09/19/2015 at 8:10am<b>Michaelsupset</b> - the 08/16/2015 at 11:37pm<b>minimanion</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 9:27pm<b>imkool136</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 12:56pm<b>douglas423</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 1:47am<b>thesnypist8</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 7:32am

heinous966's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!


You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of heinous966's badges

heinous966's favorite FMLs

Today, a customer cussed me out for hiding behind the counter a jacket she's been "eyeing since it came out". She loudly exclaimed that she was going to report me to my manager and get me "fired." It was my personal jacket that we don't even sell. FML

Today, my boyfriend surprised me by coming home early. He walked in on me sitting on the toilet, singing full volume to my cat as I took a crap. FML


I agree, your life sucks (44517) - you deserved it (13062)

On 05/10/2014 at 6:11pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, my little sister was in charge of doing the vacuuming, when she decided our hamster had "dust on his back". FML


I agree, your life sucks (44020) - you deserved it (3806) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/08/2014 at 4:48pm - animals - by gvmfvr - Sent from mobile version

Today, while at work as a telemarketer, I called a customer on his home phone. Once I was connected, an automated voice said, "To speak with a customer, please press 1." Confused, I pressed one. I then heard loud laughter followed by, "Oh my god! What a dumbass!" before they hung up. FML


I agree, your life sucks (40146) - you deserved it (21497)

On 05/07/2014 at 11:57pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my husband and I put our children to bed a little earlier than usual, so we could have some sexy time. Immediately following my full-blown orgasm, I rolled over, only to see my wide-eyed son peeking over the top of the mattress. FML


I agree, your life sucks (66109) - you deserved it (15451)

On 05/07/2014 at 10:31pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I retrieved the wrong luggage from an airport carousel. I'm now the owner of two water-bras, a false beard, a bag of cat litter, and some anal beads. I am afraid to get in touch with the original owner. FML


I agree, your life sucks (40863) - you deserved it (5988)

On 05/07/2014 at 9:25pm - misc - by BaggedDown (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my best friend wanted to see what my new boyfriend looks like. By chance, he'd sent me a Snapchat a few minutes before, so I opened it to show her, only to see that it was a dick pic. FML


I agree, your life sucks (37919) - you deserved it (43652)

On 05/06/2014 at 7:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, while working at Home Depot, a customer tried to engage me in a conversation about which gardening tool would "hypothetically" be the best to kill his wife with. FML


I agree, your life sucks (45318) - you deserved it (3679)

On 05/06/2014 at 6:47pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I turned in my best painting yet for a scholarship competition. For once in my life, I was actually proud of a piece I'd done. I ended up losing the scholarship to some dickface who'd basically just glued together some crap from the dollar store and called it conceptual art. FML


I agree, your life sucks (45202) - you deserved it (5380)

On 05/06/2014 at 4:52pm - misc - by assgoblins piss me off (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, a bird got into the walls of my house through a hole. I located where it was by following the chirping and scratching sounds, and drilled a hole to get it out. I pulled out the drill, only to find the drill bit bloody. Suddenly, no more chirps. FML


I agree, your life sucks (52029) - you deserved it (17565)

On 05/05/2014 at 5:03pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I had a nightmare and woke up in a cold sweat. My girlfriend was in bed with me at the time, and swears I yelled out another girl's name. She considers this proof that I'm cheating on her, and now she won't even speak to me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (44048) - you deserved it (5113)

On 05/03/2014 at 12:50pm - love - by wtf - Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz)

Today, while at my brother's funeral, my girlfriend decided to tell me she's been sleeping with him. FML


I agree, your life sucks (58228) - you deserved it (3625)

On 04/29/2014 at 6:40pm - love - by loserman - United States (Texas)

Today, my Spanish teacher imitated the sound of a coffee grinder, and then said in Spanish, "OK, all of you do it." I did it, thinking everyone else would too. I was the only one in the class who'd understood the Spanish part. FML


I agree, your life sucks (44197) - you deserved it (5046)

On 04/24/2014 at 11:32am - work - by me - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my drug addict of a roommate convinced herself my red kitten was Pennywise the clown in disguise waiting to kill her, and hit him over the head with a pan. FML

Today, at my wedding, my husband stood up to give a speech. It started out beautiful, until he told everyone how he started to fall in love with me after I blew him on our first date. FML


I agree, your life sucks (58879) - you deserved it (14745)

On 04/21/2014 at 11:43am - intimacy - by Sue Ellen (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

C comme Line's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #20
  • Here we are in November! Winter is here, for most of us, it's dark, grey and depressing and if you're the kind of person who watches network news 24/7, you're probably going to need some cheering up.…

Monday 30 November 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: