Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

heinous966

Offline (the 01/16/2015 at 8:35pm) | Search for a member

heinous966

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4852
  • Number of comments : 57
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 27 posted

About heinous966 : I'm slightly obsessed with Star Trek.

heinous966's page activity

Visits<b>hullarms</b> - the 09/01/2015 at 12:56pm<b>CallMeSpaholla</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 2:04pm<b>FusionPlacebo</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 7:54am<b>Rynardhell</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 8:30pm<b>Michaelsupset</b> - the 08/16/2015 at 5:37pm<b>alliepatches12</b> - the 08/11/2015 at 4:51pm<b>Apostolos_T</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 8:46am<b>getindoe69</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 4:03am<b>BestOrginalName</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 8:23am<b>minimanion</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 1:30pm<b>bethkelchner</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 3:48pm<b>jomar_19</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 10:52pm<b>thesnypist8</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 12:08pm<b>adamant84</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 7:28pm<b>StrangeNigga</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 10:39pm<b>facelick</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 1:57pm<b>jsb1426</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 12:45am<b>metalbullet</b> - the 05/29/2015 at 6:04pm

Fucked!<b>Michaelsupset</b> - the 08/16/2015 at 11:37pm<b>minimanion</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 9:27pm<b>imkool136</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 12:56pm<b>douglas423</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 1:47am<b>thesnypist8</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 7:32am

heinous966's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of heinous966's badges

heinous966's favorite FMLs

Today, I baked a strawberry cake and I didn't have any fresh strawberries for garnish, so I used a can of strawberry pie filling. My neighbors said it looked like the cake was taken from the dumpster behind an abortion clinic. FML

#21146042
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41256) - you deserved it (8087)

On 05/20/2014 at 5:54am - misc - by sothishappened (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, at my job at a fast-food restaurant, I once again got called into the men's bathroom to break up sex between two homeless people. FML

#21145062
193 comments

Today, I took my son to lunch. After we ate, the waitress came over and told me that my son was the most well-behaved child they had ever had there. His response was to pull his pants down and moon the entire restaurant while smacking his bottom. FML

Today, I was chewed out by a lady who claimed the laptop she bought wouldn't turn on, and that she wanted a refund. She yelled and shoved the laptop at me, not even listening when I told her I didn't even work at that store. FML

#21143801
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52204) - you deserved it (4093)

On 05/18/2014 at 10:14am - misc - by lemongrab (woman) - Canada

Today, my 15-year-old son told me that he and his new girlfriend are deeply in love and are meant for each other. The "girlfriend" in question? My fiancé's 12-year old daughter. FML

#21143037
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47466) - you deserved it (5271)

On 05/17/2014 at 3:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was taking a piss, when a mosquito came out of nowhere and headed straight for my dick. In my startled attempt to ward it away, I pissed all over everything, including myself. FML

#21142253
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41564) - you deserved it (14248)

On 05/16/2014 at 8:33pm - misc - by pissed off (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had a wonderful dream where I got married to the perfect guy, then had the best sex of my life on a beautiful honeymoon. The only problem is that my "husband" was the snowman from Frozen, and that I got sad when I realized it was just a dream. FML

#21142020
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44899) - you deserved it (9514)

On 05/16/2014 at 5:07pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I walked in on my mom showing her friends that she can deepthroat a banana. That's something I could've lived a long and happy life without seeing. FML

#21141912
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57497) - you deserved it (5721)

On 05/16/2014 at 3:26pm - intimacy - by fuck florida (man) - United States (California)

Today, I actually uttered the words: "Those are my good sweatpants." FML

#21141634
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37491) - you deserved it (8715)

On 05/16/2014 at 8:16am - misc - by dieana (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was hosting my daughter's thirteenth birthday party. One parent decided to stay at my house, the only parent to do so. The entire night she critiqued every decision I made, from the films to the cake. When it was time to open presents, her kid was the only one without one. FML

#21141320
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49855) - you deserved it (4140)

On 05/15/2014 at 11:15pm - kids - by madbirthdaymomma (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, one of my year 9 students finished the test an hour early. He decided to spend the time by "stealthily" whacking off. His entire desk was shaking in a silent room. FML

Today, I accidentally said the wrong name during sex. That name just happened to be "Sarah", which is both my ex-girlfriend's name and my wife's sister's name. When she asked me which one I meant, I panicked and said, "Both." FML

#21140956
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35918) - you deserved it (56575)

On 05/15/2014 at 6:57pm - intimacy - by FLIPmcCOOL - Ireland (Cork)

Today, my daughter was scared to go to the bathroom because she thought there was a person behind the shower curtain. There actually was a person behind the shower curtain. FML

#21137389
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60278) - you deserved it (5152)

On 05/12/2014 at 1:17am - kids - by kids -

Today, I walked outside to see my boyfriend standing on my porch, looking confused. He explained to me that he had attached a prom proposal note to his pet rabbit, and let it inside my house to find me. We went looking for said rabbit, and found my dog halfway through eating it. FML

#21136990
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52849) - you deserved it (4928)

On 05/11/2014 at 6:49pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)



FML's blog

  • RoSaCe's illustrated FML
  • Back to business! Yep, everyone is back from their vacation, unless you're a rich, childfree, lovin' life-type of person who doesn't go on holiday when everybody else does, and can do whatever they…

Friday 4 September 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: