About heinous966 : I'm slightly obsessed with Star Trek.
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heinous966's favorite FMLs
Today, tired of everyone forgetting my birthday, I traveled half way around the world to spend my 40th at a five star resort just to try and make it special. The hotel brought me a cake with someone else's name on it. FML
by nevercatchabreak / 08/31/2013 at 4:16am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 08/29/2013 at 8:16pm / United States (New York) / Animals
Today, I brought my Japanese girlfriend home for dinner with my family for the first time. They all got drunk and made heaps of racist jokes right in front of us. My dad forgot her name and started calling her "Rice Ball" instead. FML
by Thanks everyone / 08/28/2013 at 6:35pm / Australia (Queensland) / Love
by Miami6and3 / 08/26/2013 at 2:22pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I woke up to a very unpleasant feeling. Apparently, the tattoo I got on my arm a couple of days ago attracted hundreds of ants during its healing process. They were literally carrying away pieces of my skin. I can not get the feeling or image out of my head. FML
by aly55a_mariie / 08/20/2013 at 3:04pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 08/18/2013 at 11:56pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy
Today, I was verbally abused by a customer at my job. Apparently, wearing "ugly, thick-framed hipster glasses as a fashion statement is a HUGE faux pas." These are my actual prescription glasses, and "faux pas" is not pronounced "fox paws". FML
by hipster glasses / 08/16/2013 at 7:08am / United States / Work
by kenbez123 / 08/14/2013 at 3:55am / Malta / Miscellaneous
by ANON / 08/13/2013 at 7:53pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by FuckYouMotherNature / 08/07/2013 at 2:51am / United States (California) / Health
Today, I sprayed down some ants in my house. In the sea of ant corpses was a single living ant seemingly cradling a dead one in its arms. I'm convinced I just became the villain in an epic tragedy. Now I have to live with my ant problem because I can't bear to tear another family apart. FML
by Blood on my hands / 08/07/2013 at 1:40am / United States / Animals
by Serum / 08/05/2013 at 12:41pm / United States (Kansas) / Intimacy
Today, after giving me my very first orgasm, my boyfriend sat me down and had a serious chat with me about my orgasm face. Apparently it reminded him of the scene in the Exorcist with the possessed girl, and it really freaked him out. FML
by right / 08/02/2013 at 10:08am / United Kingdom (Dorset) / Intimacy
by YouSoSmelly / 08/02/2013 at 9:58am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
by are these people even HUMAN? / 08/01/2013 at 11:18am / United States (Tennessee) / Work
- 1Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 2Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 3Today, I'm still reeling over the unexpected loss of my co-worker. I also received a notification…
- Today, I’m a French teacher abroad, and as my beard has a huge hole near my chin, my students call… Today, I was an extra in a movie and I had to play a corpse. At the make up stand, they painted my… Today, I’m in China, and I took my Golden Retriever to the groomer’s to get him cleaned up, because…