About heinous966 : I'm slightly obsessed with Star Trek.
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heinous966's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 10/10/2014 at 5:51pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
Today, my OCD reached a new high when I used a correction pen to white-out an eyelash which was photocopied onto every single page of my reading material. I did it because the eyelash was too distracting and I couldn't finish reading the article without the urge to rip it into shreds. FML
by waternixie / 10/07/2014 at 11:49pm / Malaysia (Negeri Sembilan) / Miscellaneous
by notatherapist / 10/01/2014 at 7:08pm / Netherlands (Noord-Holland) / Intimacy
by heretoserve / 09/27/2014 at 12:22am / United States (Virginia) / Work
Today, my husband felt dishonoured: his darling little girl, the love of his life, whom he's always considered pure, turns out to be pregnant. He's now warned her: she's grounded and that whoever did this to her had better not come hanging round the house. Pussy, two years old, is now housebound until her kittens are born. FML
by Anonyme / 09/26/2014 at 2:56am / France (Lorraine) / Animals
Today, I have such severe ADD that I can't focus without my medication. When I take the medication, I can only focus on one thing, but not necessarily the thing I need to be focusing on. I have a chem test soon, and I've been vacuuming my room for the past 4 hours. FML
by Anonymous / 09/25/2014 at 3:32pm / United States (Texas) / Health
Today, I was having sex with this amazingly hot guy. Things got pretty intense, and right as I was about to orgasm, the gold crucifix came flying off his necklace and sliced my eyelid open. Message received. Well played, God. FML
by Sinnersinner / 09/21/2014 at 7:27am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by failingdaily / 09/19/2014 at 10:27pm / New Zealand (Hawke's Bay) / Geek
by immature / 09/18/2014 at 3:20pm / United Kingdom (Reading) / Work
by Anonymous / 09/04/2014 at 2:44am / United States (Michigan) / Animals
Today, while undergoing the cumbersome task of screwing the tiny silver ball onto my lip piercing, I clumsily dropped it onto the counter and watched it bounce into the trash can, where it nestled snugly into a used maxi pad. FML
by akieferr / 09/02/2014 at 10:41pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by anonymous / 09/02/2014 at 2:58pm / United States (Connecticut) / Love
Today, I had to flush someone else's shit in the public washroom at work. It was so vile, I didn't want to get anywhere near it, so flushed it with my foot, only for it to slip off the handle and into the toilet. FML
by Alisterine / 08/24/2014 at 1:31pm / United States (Missouri) / Work
Today, I had some painful gas at work, so I tried to silently ease it out. It was silent all right; silent, and so deadly that someone exclaimed, "What the fuck?!" My coworkers traced it back to me. Now they're all pointing their mini desk fans in my direction to make a point. FML
by Anonymous / 08/19/2014 at 5:54pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work
by Degueusement / 08/18/2014 at 12:48am / Intimacy
- Today, I looked in the bank and $40 was used at a mildly expensive restaurant my husband, who lives… Today, I was super excited about going on a date with the guy I'm really into . I ended up having… Today, I got an extremely sensitive pimple right below my nose. Today also seems to be the day that…