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headofchairclub

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headofchairclub
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 53
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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headofchairclub's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

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headofchairclub's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at work when a customer, who was going to pay for her groceries, started sorting through her money. She put some coins in her mouth, seemed to suck on them for a while, and then gave them to me. FML

#19712104
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21899) - you deserved it (1386)

On 05/31/2012 at 9:20pm - work - by Elmoo - Netherlands

Today, I tried to swallow a spoonful of cinnamon. I ended up vomiting chunks of burgers, all while bleeding from the nose and suffering throbbing testicles. I then had to clean it all up. FML

#19640630
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6229) - you deserved it (47547)

On 05/18/2012 at 3:41am - health - by TLJ321 -

Today, whilst working in a pharmacy, I was given the pleasure of listening to an old lady share the details of what she sticks up her vagina. FML

#19626087
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23016) - you deserved it (2115)

On 05/15/2012 at 4:08am - intimacy - by uni life (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I realized that something's wrong when you have to go to a mental hospital for a family reunion. FML

#19367140
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21740) - you deserved it (1571)

On 03/28/2012 at 10:53pm - misc - by neverthesame - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my jeans got caught in the airport escalators. Seeing as how we couldn't get them unstuck, my mother made me take them off. FML

#19016945
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23940) - you deserved it (2678)

On 02/07/2012 at 8:47am - misc - by courtneynaked (woman) - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)

Today, after a tennis lesson, the coach was picking up the stray tennis balls around the court. Trying to be helpful, I asked him, "Do you want me to grab your ball bag?" His eyeballs almost burst out of their sockets. FML

#17512926
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24874) - you deserved it (7303)

On 08/18/2011 at 8:18pm - intimacy - by BigmouthStrikesAgain (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend decided it'd be funny to create a "place" on Facebook for my vagina. Now he "checks-in" every time we have sex. FML

#17338945
332 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48871) - you deserved it (9568)

On 08/02/2011 at 12:52am - intimacy - by INside (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up to a homeless man relentlessly shitting on my porch. FML

#16661318
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32428) - you deserved it (2780)

On 06/14/2011 at 1:56pm - misc - by ugh - United States (Louisiana)

Today, on the train, a cute girl gave me her number. After maybe half an hour, she went to her seat and I went to the toilet for a quick but loud and painful dump. I opened the door and saw her outside getting bitch-slapped by the smell. FML

#15172476
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22036) - you deserved it (7533)

On 03/02/2011 at 3:16am - misc - by Noguestlist -

Today, after we'd let an author rent out our cabin, we read in the book of poems he wrote while staying that he'd described how he enjoyed sitting on our table naked. The same table we often eat off. FML

#15147046
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23776) - you deserved it (4295)

On 02/28/2011 at 12:44am - intimacy - by Username -

Today, while socializing after a church service, I discovered I'm still referred to as "Fireshit's brother", after an incident a year ago which involved my sister screaming "the devil is coming out of my anus!" from the lavatory. FML

#14330238
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26083) - you deserved it (2895)

On 12/25/2010 at 1:20am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was in a store with my dad. He completely lost his temper and began yelling at the store owners. For some reason, he then removed his shirt in protest. FML

#14309461
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27801) - you deserved it (2043)

On 12/23/2010 at 9:48am - misc - by Username - Canada

Today, as I got to my first class seat on an airplane, I saw the person I'd be sitting next to wafting the smell of her vagina towards herself and breathing in deeply. It's an eight hour flight. FML

#14239433
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38474) - you deserved it (3342)

On 12/17/2010 at 8:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while in a public restroom I could hear a guy having his way with his hand. He was quoting verses from the bible. I was in a cubicle and he was at the urinal. I was too frightened to leave. This went on for a very long time. FML

#14234444
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32249) - you deserved it (2953)

On 12/17/2010 at 11:05am - intimacy - by biblewanker - Australia

Today, I went to the doctor's office for a minor cold, and left with a diagnosis of pregnancy. FML

#13998291
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24304) - you deserved it (10319)

On 11/27/2010 at 10:03am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)



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