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hcollins1's favorite FMLs
Today, I called an airline to try to locate a bag I left on a flight. When I told the phone rep which airport I flew into, he asked me what city it was in. He paused after I told him, then asked me what state Seattle is in. I don't think I'll be getting my bag back. FML
by 1942ford / 07/22/2013 at 10:18pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
Today, I confessed to losing my wife's engagement ring, and replacing it with a lookalike months ago. My wife also confessed that her actual engagement ring was locked in the safe, and the one I lost had been a fake. I've been paying the replacement off on my credit card for 6 months. FML
by RonnieG / 07/22/2013 at 6:30pm / United States (Florida) / Love
by ihatepokemon / 07/22/2013 at 6:14pm / United States / Love
Today, I got a call from the police. Apparently my son tried robbing a teenage couple, but wound up getting his ass beat by both of them. I don't know what's worse, that my 32-year-old son is a criminal, or that he got it handed to him by 15-year-olds. FML
by Parentalfailure / 07/22/2013 at 5:06pm / United States (North Carolina) / Kids
Today, I got fired from my job as a seafood manager because an entire wedding group came in and started yelling at me, saying the shrimp was horrible and I ruined their wedding. They showed me the leftovers; they never cooked them. They fed raw shrimp at a wedding dinner party. FML
by Gross / 07/21/2013 at 7:20pm / United States (Texas) / Work
Today, the great deal on my new apartment has turned into a nightmare. I keep hearing extremely weird sounds almost every night, and when I tried taking pics of the place today, my camera's face recognition feature kept activating, but only in my bedroom. I'm scared shitless. FML
by notenoughunderwearintheworld / 07/21/2013 at 4:54pm / South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal) / Transportation
Today, I jokingly told my friend that when a tree seems to sway in the wind, it's really just having an orgasm. Not only did she believe me, she's been smugly informing everyone we know. She's 26. I seem to be friends with an absolute idiot. FML
by what have i done with my life / 07/21/2013 at 1:46pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 2Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…
- Today, I’m in Thailand and I met a monk. The conversation was so deep and interesting that, without… Today, and since forever, my boyfriend talks in his sleep. Last night, he told me, “I like you very… Today, I've been living in Germany for several weeks now. My classmates still cannot pronounce my…