About haynicole : Dearly.
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haynicole's favorite FMLs
Today, I went downstairs a little after midnight to grab a snack, and in the dark hallway, I clearly saw a small child walk into the kitchen. I was freaked out, but I followed him in. There was nobody in the room. I'm now too scared to sleep, and am seriously considering moving house. FML
by fsfs / 08/17/2013 at 12:27pm / Germany (Schleswig-Holstein) / Miscellaneous
Today, during an otherwise promising job interview, I was asked how much I thought was too much for a "good hit of blow". I must have stayed speechless for too long, because the guy's next words were, "Yeah, you're not cut out for this." I'm shocked and baffled too. FML
by Anonymous / 08/07/2013 at 6:49am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work
by Anonymous / 03/27/2013 at 12:54pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend taking pictures of his penis in a condom. When I asked him what the hell he was doing he told me that he was making a stop-motion film called "All Dressed Up with Nowhere to go." FML
by Notaplacetogo / 02/17/2013 at 1:45am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 01/16/2012 at 10:19pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I came home to find that my pregnant cat had given birth to a stillborn kitten in every room of the house. It had then rubbed its butt around the house, leaving bloody stains everywhere. When I went to clean the white carpet, the bleach turned it green. FML
by Anonymous / 10/08/2010 at 12:33pm / United States (Florida) / Animals
Today, it was really hot in my house so I pulled my shorts down so I was just in my boxers. My family and I were watching tv and I got a spontaneous erection. When I discreetly tried to pull my shorts back up, my penis flipped out of my boxers. FML
Today, at a restaurant, I was joking around trying to make my friend laugh by pretending to be a ninja. I did this by putting my napkin in front of my face. I happened to look over at another table and saw that a lady wearing a burqa was giving me the most evil glare I have ever seen in my life. FML
by CrushAdrenaline / 08/27/2010 at 5:46am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was enjoying a nice shower in the morning. While I was massaging the shampoo out of my hair, I saw the gardener walking past my bathroom window, yelling "Good morning" and waving in my direction. My left boob politely waved back at him. FML
by AlexaSt2611 / 08/24/2010 at 8:08pm / Paraguay (Central) / Intimacy
by clitorasaurus / 08/21/2010 at 2:09am / Canada (Ontario) / Health
by Anonymous / 08/16/2010 at 4:20pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend saying, "I shall be the prince, and you shall be the princess," to his hamster. Once he saw me, he quickly turned to the hamster and said, "I have to go. The dragon is here." FML
by Cheese4men / 05/14/2010 at 7:28pm / Canada (Alberta) / Love
Today, I hung out with the guy I've liked for the first time in 3 years. And when he left, I gave him a hug, he pushed me, I tripped, and hit my head into the wall. Then to save his embarassment, pushed me over onto the couch and pretended to rape me. FML
by C.Neyy / 02/21/2010 at 2:04am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
by jake / 02/07/2010 at 1:56pm / United States (Ohio) / Love
- Today, I met the man of my dreams. Hot, funny, smart, sensitive, he guesses at what I need before I… Today, I screamed so hard during a nightmare that I developed Laryngitis. I work in a call center.… Today, I ran an experiment perfectly in lab. I was the last in my class to finish and proud of how…