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haylburg

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haylburg
  • Town/Country : Canada, The World
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2379
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About haylburg : I love EDM/Dubstep, and most country music! And I'm super passionate about ear piercings, and drawing! My favourite poem is Annabelle Lee by Edgar Allan Poe, look it up if you're interested in reading it, it's really great!

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This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

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You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

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haylburg's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have our first "Cybering" experience. I downloaded Skype per his instructions, and hooked up my cam. Just as everything started getting hot and heavy, I farted. He stopped and frowned. I had no idea it was a video AND voice program. FML

#271992
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16456) - you deserved it (79044)

On 03/11/2009 at 2:35pm - intimacy - by awkwardgayboi (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, these kids in my math class told me to ask this girl if I could lick her clit. I basically yelled 'what's a clit'? Everyone looked at me. I'm a senior in high school, no one has yet to explain it to me. I had to google it when i got home. FML

#254280
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33284) - you deserved it (73790)

On 03/09/2009 at 7:29pm - intimacy - by danmarino (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I was having a one night stand with a guy. he told me he wanted to do it doggie style. I said okay, and as soon as i bent over on the bed, looked at me and said "let's do this with the lights off". FML

#232006
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43702) - you deserved it (11010)

On 03/07/2009 at 1:34am - misc - by fjafja - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to visit my fiancé's dying grandmother in the hospital with him. She started talking to us about living each day to the fullest. His grandmother points to me and says, "Life is short. That's why you don't waste any time screwing girls who look like that." FML

#197015
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64017) - you deserved it (2877)

On 03/03/2009 at 4:36pm - misc - by joAnne (woman) - United States

Today, I was walking through Borders with my girlfriend, when we pass a girl scout cookies stand. I see a box of Samoas, my favorite, point at them, and shout, 'YEAH'. My girlfriend looks shocked. Behind the box of cookies was a five year old scout bending over, with her bottom pointed at me. FML

#170218
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52077) - you deserved it (13675)

On 03/01/2009 at 12:55pm - misc - by Scottrick (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was drunk at my nan's birthday party. My boyfriend texted me asking if I could go out, to which I replied "No, I'm at my nan's house." He then dumped me, calling me a 'cheating whore.' I was confused, until I realised I'd misspelt nan and said "No, I'm at my man's house." FML

#169078
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19307) - you deserved it (40210)

On 03/01/2009 at 9:20am - love - by Mandy (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I took the subway. The man sitting across from me would not stop staring at my breasts, so when the train came to my stop, I said, "Nothing to see now, asshole." Then I noticed his white walking stick as he got up to get off. He was blind. FML

#144886
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8701) - you deserved it (64514)

On 02/26/2009 at 5:21pm - misc - by belladonna (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, a stoplight turned yellow as I was approaching it. I was about to go through but saw a cop, panicked, and slammed on the brakes. I ended up in the middle of the intersection and had to reverse. Soon the light turned green, and I stepped on the gas. My car was still in reverse. FML

#142298
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13118) - you deserved it (41883)

On 02/26/2009 at 11:17am - misc - by River (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, my sister had a friend over and I had just gotten out of the shower. I wrapped something around me and walked across the living room. When I walked through, they both started laughing hysterically. Turns out, I grabbed a poncho and the hole for the head ended up right over my crotch. FML

#110231
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13340) - you deserved it (35395)

On 02/22/2009 at 11:50pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up in a girls bed, that I have had a crush on for two years. She was sleeping on the floor with someone else. FML

#77324
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41350) - you deserved it (3308)

On 02/19/2009 at 11:29am - misc - by VacationTSA (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I finally hooked up with a boy I really liked. We were lying in bed and my panties were already off when he asked me : "Would you also have sex with me if you weren't drunk?". I responded "Yes!" and asked him the same question, at which he responded : "No, probably not." FML

#61161
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53209) - you deserved it (10503)

On 02/17/2009 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by Dannylover (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I told my boyfriend that I was afraid our future children would be fat and ugly. He reassured me, saying that he was sure our spawn would take on after him. FML

#59488
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30687) - you deserved it (11112)

On 02/17/2009 at 3:30am - love - by Noname (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had sex for the first time with a guy. After he passionately made love to me, I turned to him and said "you smell really good." He turned to me and said "You don't." FML

#59427
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45851) - you deserved it (10994)

On 02/17/2009 at 3:10am - intimacy - by pixie (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I'm in Spain, and told the kids with whom I will be working that I was excited to be working with them. Only the form of excitement I used apparently refers to sexual excitement. Basically, I told the kids I was sexually aroused to be working with them. FML

#30294
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39751) - you deserved it (11866)

On 02/12/2009 at 7:14am - intimacy - by thegoldenboy3 (man) - Spain (Andalucia)

Today, I got a text message. It said, "I'm so drunk. What you up to, girl?" It was my dad. FML

#27684
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65418) - you deserved it (3076)

On 02/11/2009 at 9:09pm - misc - by sober (woman) - United States (Virginia)



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