Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

haylburg

Online | Search for a member

haylburg

174Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 8307
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About haylburg : .

haylburg's page activity

Visits<b>metalhead4740</b> - 49 minutes ago<b>medic8</b> - one hour ago<b>sherbear78</b> - one hour ago<b>Micool</b> - 3 hours ago<b>michaelm1290</b> - 6 hours ago<b>DA_JUDGE123</b> - 8 hours ago<b>homiwan</b> - 13 hours ago<b>Lct1196</b> - 16 hours ago<b>lindacollins423</b> - 24 hours ago<b>Yazoo77</b> - yesterday at 2:07am<b>thatoneguy1111</b> - yesterday at 1:46am<b>Abbey1598</b> - yesterday at 12:44am<b>GAMERZxxHD</b> - yesterday at 12:28am<b>weekly77</b> - yesterday at 4:45pm<b>imafan123</b> - yesterday at 4:04pm<b>pureportedpear</b> - yesterday at 9:25am<b>A07</b> - yesterday at 8:32am<b>Laxinitup</b> - yesterday at 7:47am

Fucked!<b>thatoneguy1111</b> - 19 hours ago<b>Nahpets</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 12:07am<b>moron011</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 3:42am<b>sandman676</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 12:15am<b>Yazoo77</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 12:59am<b>pizzzzza</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 12:35am<b>bps315</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 3:08am<b>colvindj</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 3:30pm<b>Corey122726</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 12:22pm<b>Secret_Ninjaa</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 7:22am<b>NodakN8V</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 9:58pm<b>hotheadslav</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 4:54am<b>khoov19</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 3:42am<b>christian1509</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 10:52am<b>Shayn_25</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 10:13am<b>0VERRIDD</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 10:50am<b>Sergio_Rivera</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 3:33am<b>imkool136</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 3:06am

haylburg's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

See all of haylburg's badges

haylburg's favorite FMLs

Today, these kids in my math class told me to ask this girl if I could lick her clit. I basically yelled 'what's a clit'? Everyone looked at me. I'm a senior in high school, no one has yet to explain it to me. I had to google it when i got home. FML

#254280
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35658) - you deserved it (77520)

On 03/09/2009 at 7:29pm - intimacy - by danmarino (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I was having a one night stand with a guy. He told me he wanted to do it doggie style, I said okay, and as soon as I bent over on the bed, looked at me and said, "Let's do this with the lights off". FML

#232006
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47267) - you deserved it (12184)

On 03/07/2009 at 1:34am - misc - by fjafja - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to visit my fiancé's dying grandmother in the hospital with him. She started talking to us about living each day to the fullest. His grandmother points to me and says, "Life is short. That's why you don't waste any time screwing girls who look like that." FML

#197015
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71346) - you deserved it (3634)

On 03/03/2009 at 4:36pm - misc - by joAnne (woman) - United States

Today, I was walking through Borders with my girlfriend, when we pass a girl scout cookies stand. I see a box of Samoas, my favorite, point at them, and shout, 'YEAH'. My girlfriend looks shocked. Behind the box of cookies was a five year old scout bending over, with her bottom pointed at me. FML

#170218
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57726) - you deserved it (14922)

On 03/01/2009 at 12:55pm - misc - by Scottrick (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was drunk at my nan's birthday party. My boyfriend texted me asking if I could go out, to which I replied "No, I'm at my nan's house." He then dumped me, calling me a 'cheating whore.' I was confused, until I realised I'd misspelt nan and said "No, I'm at my man's house." FML

#169078
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21465) - you deserved it (42844)

On 03/01/2009 at 9:20am - love - by Mandy (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I took the subway. The man sitting across from me would not stop staring at my breasts, so when the train came to my stop, I said, "Nothing to see now, asshole." Then I noticed his white walking stick as he got up to get off. He was blind. FML

#144886
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11735) - you deserved it (74592)

On 02/26/2009 at 5:21pm - misc - by belladonna (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, a stoplight turned yellow as I was approaching it. I was about to go through but saw a cop, panicked, and slammed on the brakes. I ended up in the middle of the intersection and had to reverse. Soon the light turned green, and I stepped on the gas. My car was still in reverse. FML

#142298
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15845) - you deserved it (49996)

On 02/26/2009 at 11:17am - misc - by River (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, my sister had a friend over and I had just gotten out of the shower. I wrapped something around me and walked across the living room. When I walked through, they both started laughing hysterically. Turns out, I grabbed a poncho and the hole for the head ended up right over my crotch. FML

#110231
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15657) - you deserved it (38958)

On 02/22/2009 at 11:50pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up in a girls bed, that I have had a crush on for two years. She was sleeping on the floor with someone else. FML

#77324
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45914) - you deserved it (3746)

On 02/19/2009 at 11:29am - misc - by VacationTSA (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I finally hooked up with a boy I really liked. We were lying in bed and my panties were already off when he asked me : "Would you also have sex with me if you weren't drunk?". I responded "Yes!" and asked him the same question, at which he responded : "No, probably not." FML

#61161
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58912) - you deserved it (12074)

On 02/17/2009 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by Dannylover (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I told my boyfriend that I was afraid our future children would be fat and ugly. He reassured me, saying that he was sure our spawn would take on after him. FML

#59488
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34561) - you deserved it (12416)

On 02/17/2009 at 3:30am - love - by Noname (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had sex for the first time with a guy. After he passionately made love to me, I turned to him and said "you smell really good." He turned to me and said "You don't." FML

#59427
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49021) - you deserved it (12078)

On 02/17/2009 at 3:10am - intimacy - by pixie (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I'm in Spain, and told the kids with whom I will be working that I was excited to be working with them. Only the form of excitement I used apparently refers to sexual excitement. Basically, I told the kids I was sexually aroused to be working with them. FML

#30294
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45456) - you deserved it (13426)

On 02/12/2009 at 7:14am - intimacy - by thegoldenboy3 (man) - Spain (Andalucia)

Today, I got a text message. It said, "I'm so drunk. What you up to, girl?" It was my dad. FML

#27684
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74854) - you deserved it (3975)

On 02/11/2009 at 9:09pm - misc - by sober (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, after a late night at a bar, I stepped into my building's elevator with a Chinese man who was carrying a plastic bag. Without thinking, I said, "Oooh, are you still delivering?" His response was, "I live here." FML

#6479
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7573) - you deserved it (48457)

On 02/03/2009 at 2:57pm - misc - by Noname - United States (New York)



FML's blog

  • Angie's illustrated FML
  • Here we go again. This week I'm talking to you live from the Paris Japan Expo. I'm dressed up as Bernard from the Sailor Moon series, and I almost got kicked out because my katana wasn't the…

Friday 3 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: