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hawkeye0777

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hawkeye0777

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 41
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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hawkeye0777's favorite FMLs

Today, I was getting ready, when I heard my dad in the shower. He was singing along to the song "The Wheel in the Sky" by Journey. Except he'd changed the lyrics and was singing, "The dick on this guy needs a rubbin'." It turns out my mom was in the shower with him. FML

#20634724
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64350) - you deserved it (5229)

On 05/01/2013 at 12:13pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, a German guy came into the place where I work. Eager to use the German that I'd learned from my immigrant mother and her family, I started a conversation. Things were going well until the term I grew up thinking meant "Africa" turned out to be racist, translating as "Ape Land." FML

#20523889
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29699) - you deserved it (3940)

On 02/26/2013 at 11:50pm - misc - by Jan (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was sitting on the chair-lift on a ski trip. There was a shift in gears and the metal in the seat began to vibrate. My dad, sister, and step-mom were all on the lift with me, not feeling a thing. It's terribly awkward to converse with your family while you involuntarily orgasm. FML

#20523671
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44986) - you deserved it (5629)

On 02/26/2013 at 10:00pm - intimacy - by Frostbitten (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, while trucking, I got stuck in traffic on a congested highway. After 15 minutes of mind-numbing boredom, I glanced down at the car beside me, only to witness the driver changing her tampon and flicking the old one onto the highway. I can't unsee this. FML

#20489402
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61122) - you deserved it (3769)

On 02/01/2013 at 8:01pm - intimacy - by thoughtidseenitall (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, as a firefighter, we were called to assist the ambulance crew with lifting a deceased patient out of a house. Little did I know, he had been dead inside for 3 weeks, and was bloated and popped like a water balloon when we attempted to move him. My girlfriend made soup for the evening meal. FML

#20488428
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38687) - you deserved it (2178)

On 01/31/2013 at 11:39pm - work - by Fireguy92 (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my 14-year-old daughter came home after sneaking out and partying. She was totally drunk, and started crying on my shoulder because some boy named "Thomas" has a small dick, and she had to fake an orgasm. FML

#20419819
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84148) - you deserved it (25943)

On 12/24/2012 at 10:03pm - intimacy - by valnaj1 (woman) - Denmark (Syddanmark)

Today, while I was at a urinal, a man came up to use the one next to me. He then said, "I guess this is where all the dicks hang out." He then stared at me until I left. FML

#20190054
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21272) - you deserved it (1644)

On 12/03/2012 at 9:14pm - misc - by reedcarter -

Today, over a family dinner, my husband and I told everyone that I'm pregnant. My father frowned and said, "Again?", my 9-year-old daughter started crying, and her brother smirked and yelled, "Up the ass, no babies!" FML

#20136968
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23690) - you deserved it (5202)

On 10/28/2012 at 12:44pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was having a really bad day and told my friend at lunch about how stressed I was and he gave me his brownie to cheer me up. After school, he texted me "Did the brownies kick in?" Yes, they did, right in the middle of my English presentation. They were "funny" brownies. FML

#5171509
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45936) - you deserved it (6989)

On 09/10/2009 at 5:34pm - misc - by englishclasshigh (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



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