hatemyluck

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Offline (the 08/27/2015 at 4:05am)

hatemyluck

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 802
  • Number of comments : 55
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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hatemyluck's page activity

Visits<b>magicdust95</b> - the 11/22/2016 at 2:01am<b>SCNash</b> - the 09/23/2016 at 12:08pm<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 05/11/2016 at 1:29am<b>theFickleFinger</b> - the 03/18/2016 at 11:45am<b>lbrenthurst</b> - the 09/09/2015 at 1:45pm<b>allred1997</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 3:30am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 12/18/2014 at 4:10pm<b>IAmZim</b> - the 11/30/2014 at 10:14pm<b>DoomSkuller</b> - the 11/25/2014 at 1:12am<b>incoherentrmblr</b> - the 09/23/2014 at 1:31pm<b>TGGatsby</b> - the 09/23/2014 at 2:56am<b>battlehamster</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 10:19pm<b>LordGoober</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 9:28pm<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 9:11pm<b>suidwes_bul</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 12:27am<b>Xandrick</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 2:25pm<b>coolsoccer1234</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 10:45am<b>AustinDenton</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 11:12am

Fucked!<b>magicdust95</b> - the 11/22/2016 at 8:02am

hatemyluck's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

See all of hatemyluck's badges

hatemyluck's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked in on my little brother making a Devil's trap so he could capture the demon he thinks is possessing my hamster. FML

by lexigan4 / 10/29/2014 at 3:39pm / United Kingdom / Kids

Today, I was giving lifeguard instructions to a couple of teens. When I quizzed them about what they should do when someone is choking, one of them said, "Take a step back" and winked at me. FML

by Australian Lifeguard / 10/21/2014 at 11:18pm / United States (Arizona) / Work

Today, I succeeded in getting a seat on a crowded bus. I regretted this when, after a couple of stops, a big guy boarded the bus and stood next to me with his penis pressed against my shoulder. Longest. Bus ride. Ever. FML

by Anonymous / 08/13/2014 at 7:33am / Australia (New South Wales) / Transportation

Today, my fiancé said "Rachel" instead of my name when asked to repeat, "I take thee, Emily, to be my lawfully wedded wife." I was shocked, so he explained while laughing that he doesn't even know a Rachel. He ruined our wedding for a Friends quote. FML

by Emliy / 08/01/2014 at 1:06am / United States (Illinois) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my girlfriend was feeling down because she has put on some weight. I tried to make her feel better by showing her I can still pick her up. I can, and I was even able to hide the fact that I shat myself doing it. I'm so romantic. FML

by oh shit / 07/06/2014 at 3:28pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, my brain decided to go into suicide mode. So far I've managed to open a fridge door into my face, walk balls-first into the corner of a table, and sliced my finger while trying to cut open some thick plastic packaging with scissors. I'll probably be dead by the time this is posted. FML

by FMyBrain / 06/06/2014 at 5:26pm / United States (Alaska) / Health

Today, like every other day for many years, I have a phobia of bananas. This evening, the phobia came to a head when I had a nightmare in which I was stabbed to death by a gang of walking bananas. FML

by Elisa_LmR / 01/03/2014 at 6:28pm / France / Miscellaneous

Today, I watched my father attempt to light a cigar with the stove and end up burning off some hair and eyebrows. He tried to play it cool, said, "Haircuts are too expensive these days anyway." and walked out, his head smoking. This man is a college professor. FML

Today, I had a nightmare in which I was haunted by the ghost of my foreskin. I then spent the whole day moping around, wondering what my life would've been like if my parents hadn't opted to slice it off. Will I see you in heaven, long-lost ghostly foreskin? FML

by MissYouPieceOfSkin / 11/27/2013 at 3:44am / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, while sitting in a crowded waiting room at the doctor's office, my 5-year-old daughter pointed at my 6-year-old son's crotch and boomed, "MOM, WHY DOES ANDY HAVE A FINGER DOWN THERE?" to which he yelled, "IT'S CALLED A COCK!" FML

by SerenityJ / 09/27/2013 at 4:00pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I found an invisible ink pen. I drew on my arms, thinking nobody would see it. I had an allergic reaction to the ink, and I now have three very large, very visible, red penises on my forearm. FML

by maturity / 04/07/2013 at 8:30pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Health

Today, I learned explosive diarrhea is real. I felt it coming and dashed into our supermarket. 10 feet in, liquid poo started spewing down my pants legs. 150 feet to go. I ran. It ran. They watched. After 15 minutes of cleaning, I slunk out. Now, I have to find a new market, maybe a new town. FML

by Anonymous / 11/24/2009 at 6:44am / United States (Alabama) / Health