Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

hassi158

Online | Search for a member

hassi158

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 19 February 1991 (24 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 18032
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

hassi158's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

See all of hassi158's badges

hassi158's favorite FMLs

Today, my friend was confiding all her problems to me over Skype. I pressed the mute button so I could let out a fart, forgetting I'd already muted it earlier. I broke several minutes of my own silence with a devastating wet one. Now she won't talk to me. FML

#21364034
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11897) - you deserved it (5111)

On 02/26/2015 at 4:17pm - misc - by MuteNToot (man) -

Today, my mom told me she'd canceled my spring break trip to Europe for my 16th birthday. Why? So I could get my wisdom teeth pulled 2 months early. FML

#21363900
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13440) - you deserved it (2036)

On 02/26/2015 at 11:18am - health - by gatewayev700 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out my son likes to pee in the shower. He stated, "It's okay because dad pees in the sink!" I'm living with a bunch of bears. FML

#21363816
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19969) - you deserved it (2912)

On 02/26/2015 at 6:24am - kids - by showerlover (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my 3-year-old daughter came along, pointing a finger at me. I pretended to eat it by putting it in my mouth. She then said to me with disgust, "Why are you eating my booger?" Ah, that explains the saltiness… FML

#21363801
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19672) - you deserved it (6181) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/26/2015 at 2:35am - love - by ManchotDesAndes - Sent from mobile version

Today, I am still finding glitter in my ass crack after a concert last night that had a confetti cannon. Thanks Marilyn Manson, I feel so metal now. FML

#21363653
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18881) - you deserved it (3826)

On 02/25/2015 at 11:21pm - misc - by fredi - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend managed to orgasm by humping my leg. I'm beginning to think I am dating a puppy. FML

#21363602
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20198) - you deserved it (2344)

On 02/25/2015 at 10:31pm - intimacy - by failuretolaunch2 - United States

Today, I was at a friend's birthday party when I got a call from my mom telling me to come home because my dog died. When I told my friend that I had to leave because of the loss, she replied with, "Okay, but you brought my gift inside, right?" FML

#21363530
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20300) - you deserved it (1559)

On 02/25/2015 at 8:43pm - animals - by natashamilan - United States (Michigan)

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. In the middle of it, he started saying in deep voice, "Enter, exit." Over and over. FML

#21363391
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19849) - you deserved it (2061)

On 02/25/2015 at 4:39pm - intimacy - by Fuck - United States (Michigan)

Today, it's been three days since I started working 12-hour night shifts. My neighbors have now decided to renovate their house. They're focusing on the rooms sharing my wall. FML

#21363273
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22973) - you deserved it (1563)

On 02/25/2015 at 11:53am - misc - by need sleep - United States (Maryland)

Today, after 3 years of studying to be a veterinarian, I found out I may not be able to continue. It's not because I'm failing my classes, but because my body has developed an allergy to cats. FML

#21363251
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24515) - you deserved it (1911)

On 02/25/2015 at 10:44am - animals - by cat-astrophic (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my boss used Siri to settle a debate we were having in our team meeting. Siri responded by calling him "Daddy". FML

#21363220
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24455) - you deserved it (2141)

On 02/25/2015 at 9:18am - work - by mags89 - United States

Today, I was telling my friends that I'd gotten a paid position to cover a worker's bereavement leave for the next three weeks. They then called me an insensitive bitch for 'profiting from someone else's misfortune'. FML

#21363187
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22276) - you deserved it (1977)

On 02/25/2015 at 6:51am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I got pulled over for speaking on my phone. I accepted the fine because I was too ashamed to tell the cute officer that I was actually trying to pop a huge pimple on my cheek. FML

#21363177
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19865) - you deserved it (9208)

On 02/25/2015 at 5:33am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was given my yearly evaluation as a cake decorator at Walmart. They said I "was easily the best decorator there" and "the bakery has definitely improved since I got there." In the same conversation they put "unsatisfactory" on my evaluation and denied my raise. FML

Today, I T-boned a woman who pulled out of a parking lot right in front of me. According to her, the accident was my fault because she "didn't see" me. FML



FML's blog

  • FML's badges: pointless but essential!
  • If you're a regular on FML, it probably means that you're a member. Whatcha mean you're not a member? Right, for a start, run along and create yourself an account. Doing so will allow you to comment on…

Monday 23 February 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: