Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

harrypotter955

Offline (the 08/20/2015 at 5:09am) | Search for a member

harrypotter955

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 5 October 1999 (15 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 6300
  • Number of comments : 75
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

harrypotter955's page activity

Visits<b>fishingforubies2</b> - yesterday at 12:05pm<b>Vintage_Cola</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 11:59pm<b>Cookie_Overlord</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 1:02pm<b>nfern046</b> - the 08/15/2015 at 11:27pm<b>Nail7777</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 10:37pm<b>perfect_heart13</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 7:40pm<b>Cheeky_Fellow</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 12:40am<b>joarasmi</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 6:46am<b>dannie_jones</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 8:24pm<b>w0nd3rl4nd</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 6:22am<b>g_willikers24</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 4:52pm<b>the_aspect</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 10:19am<b>Zoeythedinosaur</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 9:36am<b>Camlin93</b> - the 06/06/2015 at 8:56am<b>badbitch23</b> - the 06/02/2015 at 11:58am<b>alyssa81296</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 2:40am<b>urbantrashcan</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 3:23pm<b>kaiboi702</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 5:17am

Fucked!<b>kaiboi702</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 11:17am<b>thederpylemon</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 4:44am<b>g_willikers24</b> - the 10/26/2014 at 2:46am<b>Just_A_Fantasy</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 3:12pm<b>SierraaaNicoleee</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 6:37am

harrypotter955's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of harrypotter955's badges

harrypotter955's favorite FMLs

Today, I was having an argument with my girlfriend in front of our friends. I didn't want her to spoil my good time, so I ignored her until she disappeared. She re-appeared thirty minutes later just to throw a punch that would make Muhammad Ali jealous. Our friends' reaction? They clapped. FML

#19884925
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8711) - you deserved it (42246)

On 07/03/2012 at 7:51am - misc - by ali (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was having an argument with my girlfriend in front of our friends. I didn't want her to spoil my good time, so I ignored her until she disappeared. She re-appeared thirty minutes later just to throw a punch that would make Muhammad Ali jealous. Our friends' reaction? They clapped. FML

#19884925
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8711) - you deserved it (42246)

On 07/03/2012 at 7:51am - misc - by ali (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my mom called to chew me out for having my sister arrested. My sister broke into my apartment, rearranged my living room, and claimed she now lived with me. She then threatened me with a butcher's knife for not appreciating what she had done. My mom wants me to pay the bail. FML

#19884123
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36889) - you deserved it (2467)

On 07/03/2012 at 1:36am - misc - by needmorelocks - United States (California)

Today, my dad got drunk and played a practical joke on me; a practical joke that resulted in my knee being broken. Now, I'm sitting in a hospital bed all alone while my dad hunts for "hot nurses". FML

#19881083
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27071) - you deserved it (1819)

On 07/02/2012 at 1:44pm - health - by justhelpful (woman) - Austria (Tirol)

Today, my husband staggered home after a night of drinking. He was too intoxicated to find the toilet so he started to pee in the cat's litter box. Apparently, he was invading her territory and she attacked him. His scream as she bit and scratched him must have woken the whole world. FML

#19873141
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18550) - you deserved it (2133)

On 06/30/2012 at 9:00pm - misc - by pissed off -

Today, my boyfriend thought he could make a pregnancy test read positive by jizzing on it. FML

#19822088
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28205) - you deserved it (4270)

On 06/21/2012 at 1:30am - intimacy - by really (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML

#19793582
408 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40570) - you deserved it (4325)

On 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm - misc - by 16590 (man) - Sweden

Today, my identical twin sister's boyfriend walked over to me, and whispered in my ear, "I know what you look like naked." FML

#19776975
290 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44073) - you deserved it (4128)

On 06/12/2012 at 2:28pm - misc - by creeped out - United States (New York)

Today, a hobo shook me down for money on the street. He's my brother, who incidentally ran away from home over two years ago. FML

#19776561
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32859) - you deserved it (2415)

On 06/12/2012 at 12:59pm - money - by Sarah - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, neither of my parents fought for my custody. FML

#19763325
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51468) - you deserved it (3251)

On 06/10/2012 at 12:19am - misc - by Anon - United States

Today, my boss became obsessed with a movie about a pimp. He now refers to all my female coworkers as his "bitches" and refuses to treat us like human beings. Whenever we make a mistake, he rolls his eyes and laughs, "So typical of a prostie." FML

#19736092
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35208) - you deserved it (3092)

On 06/04/2012 at 11:47pm - work - by kufan1324 - United States

Today, I walked in on my mother stroking my cat and murmuring, "Don't worry, kitty. One day, you and I... we will rule." FML

#19734981
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27334) - you deserved it (2857)

On 06/04/2012 at 8:54pm - animals - by Scared (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I drunkenly staggered home and crashed on the couch. When I woke up I realized it wasn't my house. FML

#19710160
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11291) - you deserved it (31805)

On 05/31/2012 at 3:03pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I walked in on my dad introducing his stuffed gorilla to his cat. FML

#19625273
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21163) - you deserved it (2639)

On 05/14/2012 at 11:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I brought my 90-year-old grandfather into school for a project that required to bring in "a first-hand account" of the Great Depression. He started off by telling the class how in his day, they "threw rocks at black people." FML

#19608717
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27583) - you deserved it (3923)

On 05/11/2012 at 7:52pm - misc - by Class (man) - United States (Massachusetts)



FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #17
  • It's here! Yep, time once more to delve into the darkest corners of the FML postbag and check out the stuff that never would've seen the light of day, had we not had a vicious streak in our brains. It's…

Tuesday 25 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: