harrypotter955

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Offline (the 11/04/2015 at 5:02am)

harrypotter955

6Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 5 October 1999 (16 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 7954
  • Number of comments : 75
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

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harrypotter955's page activity

Visits<b>ExtremeEncounter</b> - the 05/30/2016 at 12:11am<b>CreepinCow</b> - the 05/11/2016 at 6:55pm<b>jdscott28</b> - the 04/27/2016 at 2:26am<b>IAm123</b> - the 04/26/2016 at 8:37pm<b>Raekwon</b> - the 04/24/2016 at 4:10pm<b>mattzawesome</b> - the 04/11/2016 at 7:10pm<b>AC98</b> - the 03/31/2016 at 5:46pm<b>Koizumiii</b> - the 03/29/2016 at 7:59pm<b>MuslimShady</b> - the 03/08/2016 at 6:29am<b>jadeluv</b> - the 02/21/2016 at 9:58pm<b>33kameron33</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 5:11pm<b>cwenboo</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 8:45am<b>OptimusSlime</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 9:47pm<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 9:31pm<b>perfect_heart13</b> - the 10/18/2015 at 10:22pm<b>imhisgummybear</b> - the 10/04/2015 at 10:59pm<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 09/13/2015 at 9:59pm<b>redstone7693</b> - the 09/13/2015 at 9:19pm

Fucked!<b>perfect_heart13</b> - the 10/19/2015 at 4:22am<b>kaiboi702</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 11:17am<b>thederpylemon</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 4:44am<b>g_willikers24</b> - the 10/26/2014 at 2:46am<b>Just_A_Fantasy</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 3:12pm<b>SierraaaNicoleee</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 6:37am

harrypotter955's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of harrypotter955's badges

harrypotter955's favorite FMLs

Today, at my mother's funeral, as everyone was around her casket for the viewing, my 5-year-old son in cluelessness of what was going on shouted, "Grandma is more fun when she isn't sleeping." Everyone cried. FML

by Anonymous / 02/25/2013 at 6:00pm / United States (New Jersey) / Kids

Today, I was pushing my wheelchair-bound grandpa back home, when a pretty girl walked past us in the opposite direction. He made me stop and turn him around, just so he could ogle her ass as she walked away. FML

by hé merde / 02/22/2013 at 9:27pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I lost a bet with my friends. I had to go to the super market and buy a copy of 50 Shades of Grey along with a cucumber. The cashier was trying so hard not to laugh while ringing me up. FML

by Anonymous / 02/21/2013 at 8:43am / United States (Idaho) / Miscellaneous

Today, a woman strapped her 8-year-old son into the seat next to me on a transatlantic flight. Thinking they'd been unable to book seats together, I offered to swap seats with her. She said she'd booked it this way intentionally, because he's a "fucking brat" on flights. She was right. FML

by Sigh / 02/19/2013 at 12:13pm / United Kingdom (Essex) / Transportation

Today, I met my new class. There are two Kevin Smiths. Neither will agree to a nickname, they have the same hair color, and their middle names both start with J. They have told me to call them Kevin 1 and Kevin 2. They both want to be Kevin 1. FML

by Anonymous / 02/18/2013 at 7:26pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, my mom called me a "heartless bitch" for eating the last Hot Pocket. This is coming from a woman who, just last week, faked having cancer to get out of a speeding ticket. FML

by DontGetSlapped / 02/17/2013 at 7:24pm / United States (Arkansas) / Transportation

Today, I took an afternoon nap, and when I woke up, it was pitch black outside. Still groggy, I went downstairs, only to see my dad sporting a shocked expression and a suspiciously powder-white beard. He actually almost convinced me that I'd just woken up from a five year coma. FML

by Anonymous / 02/17/2013 at 12:56am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my brother was arrested for starting a fistfight at a funeral. He didn't even know the deceased; he's just been crashing funerals recently, hoping to hook up with mourners. I'm not sure who's more pathetic: him for doing such a thing, or me for bailing his fucking dumb arse out of jail. FML

by an idiot / 02/16/2013 at 1:03pm / Australia / Money

Today, while at the store with my mom, we ran into the girl I recently confessed to being interested in. My mom decided to shout, "IS THAT HER?! IS THAT THE GIRL YOU LIKE?!" Embarrassed, I desperately told her to be quiet. She grounded me for being "rude" to her. FML

by Anonymous / 02/15/2013 at 7:39pm / Italy (Lombardia) / Love

Today, I finally confronted my bully. Too bad it was at my high school reunion and he beat the shit out of me. FML

by Anonymous / 02/13/2013 at 5:29pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I've been living in Kenya in a nasty apartment for so long that when I looked down into my drink and saw a dead fly, I just picked it out and continued drinking. FML

by kenyaliving / 02/13/2013 at 5:04pm / Kenya / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting his parents. I'm nervous around them so he encouraged me to drink so I'd loosen up. I got so drunk I tore up all the things in his old room I thought were from ex-girlfriends and accidentally flashed his dad my crotch. FML

by Anonymous / 02/13/2013 at 12:07am / United States (Kansas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out I'm pregnant. My husband had a vasectomy this past summer after our son was born and only took one of the two tests. I haven't cheated. He refuses to believe me or get his spunk checked again. FML

by Totallyscrewed / 02/10/2013 at 12:17am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I learned that my big, tough, strong dog is terrified of spiders when he jumped, knocked over a table and then peed on the spider to drown it. FML

by DogLover / 02/06/2013 at 8:59am / United States (New York) / Animals

Today, after heavy rain my street flooded. While in my living room, I looked outside to see that my elderly neighbour was outside splashing in a knee deep puddle. He was butt-naked and wearing a snorkel and flippers. FML

by Stunned / 02/04/2013 at 4:15am / New Zealand (Wellington) / Miscellaneous