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happydolphin

Offline (the 08/30/2015 at 7:24am) | Search for a member

happydolphin

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1701
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

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happydolphin's page activity

Visits<b>debmalyaroxx</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 2:48am<b>boredSOLDIER</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 12:29am<b>JD1147</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 6:33pm<b>PinkPoshling111</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 5:26pm<b>Wrex</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 8:34am<b>christian1509</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 1:06pm<b>abdiG</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 5:03pm<b>Jay_FTW</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 12:18am<b>mcmuffinman1</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 10:33am<b>tayymeds</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 9:45pm<b>AngryRussianGuy</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 6:59am<b>addictedtojuice</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 6:45am<b>Claytonioo</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 6:34am<b>MWidderAUDI</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 6:24am<b>kneesocks</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 5:37pm<b>dk1991</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 10:04am<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 05/28/2014 at 9:55pm<b>therealjc</b> - the 05/28/2014 at 7:43pm

happydolphin's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of happydolphin's badges

happydolphin's favorite FMLs

Today, I was trying to sleep in the car, and when I went to rest my face on my fist, our car hit a bump and I ended up punching myself in the face. FML

#21429093
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22667) - you deserved it (3847)

On 06/20/2015 at 3:03pm - misc - by Bengemon825 - United States (Connecticut)

Today, a calf kicked a needle straight into my arm hard enough to make me stab myself. The good news is I'm now fully vaccinated for cow diseases. FML

Today, while walking out of a store eating a candy bar, a homeless man tried to run up and steal my candy. I stuck a leg out and tripped him. The only thing I could think of to yell at him was, "Swiper no Swiping". My kids have ruined my coolness. FML

#21366982
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34586) - you deserved it (6700)

On 03/02/2015 at 11:57pm - misc - by Dad (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, while laughing at a jogger that fell down while running, I choked on my French fries. They had to give me the Heimlich maneuver. FML

#21366627
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13972) - you deserved it (48892)

On 03/02/2015 at 3:40pm - health - by teapotrevolt - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, while having sex, my fiancé started talking dirty. I enjoyed it, until he had a brain fart and said, "God, you love fucking my pussy." FML

#21364648
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30029) - you deserved it (3182)

On 02/27/2015 at 2:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first handjob. I was nervous, so when she went to do it, I panicked and yelled, "Firmly grasp it!" She then couldn't stop laughing because it was a line from SpongeBob. FML

Today, in thanks for my assistance, a customer recommended me a plastic surgeon who could "really help with that face." FML

#21304340
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27117) - you deserved it (2106)

On 11/23/2014 at 5:27am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I'm old enough to be looking at houses to buy, but not old enough to get past the idea that they might be affordable because they're haunted. FML

#21300362
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26966) - you deserved it (5665)

On 11/16/2014 at 10:07pm - misc - by boo (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, after visiting friends for the weekend, I took the wrong train home. It was going in completely the opposite direction. I've now missed the last train back, will miss work tomorrow and have just been asked to vacate the train station. I'm 120 miles from home. FML

Today, I was woken up by my dog touching my foot, so I tried to push it away. Then I realized that I'd kicked my girlfriend in the face. FML

#21282367
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35147) - you deserved it (7322)

On 10/21/2014 at 11:49am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went to a job interview, and a guy ahead of me went to enter the building, only to walk face-first into a glass door. I rushed to help him up, and after we had a good laugh about it, I turned to walk inside, only to walk straight into the door as well. FML

#21236025
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41391) - you deserved it (8884)

On 08/12/2014 at 5:23pm - health - by facefuckedguy (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I went to a bookstore to get "The Grapes of Wrath". I have a problem with controlling the volume of my voice, so once at the counter, I accidentally said quite loudly, "WHERE ARE THE ANGRY GRAPES?" FML

#21217858
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37879) - you deserved it (12644)

On 07/22/2014 at 11:36pm - misc - by Face fucking palm - United States (Georgia)

Today, I discovered that the odd creaking noise I hear when I walk down the stairs is actually a crack that had been getting larger over the years. I found out when I fell through and plummeted to the stairs below. FML

#21216856
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42637) - you deserved it (5342)

On 07/21/2014 at 11:46pm - misc - by Oldhouse (man) - United States (California)

Today, while out grocery shopping with my mother, she asked me to hold a large bag of rice for her. Ten minutes later, I realized I'd been absent-mindedly stroking it the whole time, just like when I pick up my cat. FML



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