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happydolphin's favorite FMLs
by Anonyme / 01/29/2016 at 5:38pm / China (Shanghai) / Work
Today, after six weeks of dealing with various exterminators, my roommate and I were about to toast to what we were told was a wasp-free room. That's when we noticed several much smaller wasps flying around. Not only is our wasp problem not solved, but our room is a wasp breeding ground. FML
by OhWait / 10/22/2015 at 8:18pm / United States (New York) / Animals
Today, I was getting coffee when I pulled my lip balm from my pocket and started playing with it in my hands, tapping it on my face and lip. There were there two gorgeous guys in front of me who kept turning around and staring at me. I was actually holding a tampon. FML
by C BOMB / 09/14/2015 at 7:58pm / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous
by Bengemon825 / 06/20/2015 at 3:03pm / United States (Connecticut) / Transportation
by ihatecoldfeet / 03/29/2015 at 4:54am / United States (Montana) / Animals
Today, when I woke up, I got into the bath that my boyfriend had prepared for me. I particularly appreciated its smell, so I asked him what he'd used. "I couldn't find the usual bath salts you use, so I just used what I could." It's official, I've taken a Alka-Seltzer flavored bath. FML
by Anonyme / 03/27/2015 at 5:50am / France (Bretagne) / Love
by badtiming / 03/03/2015 at 12:18pm / Brazil (Rio de Janeiro) / Work
by teapotrevolt / 03/02/2015 at 3:40pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Health
by Anonymous / 02/27/2015 at 2:37pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
by FMAhole / 02/13/2015 at 10:49pm / Australia (Queensland) / Love
Today, my girlfriend gave me my first handjob. I was nervous, so when she went to do it, I panicked and yelled, "Firmly grasp it!" She then couldn't stop laughing because it was a line from SpongeBob. FML
by con135 / 01/12/2015 at 8:16pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 11/23/2014 at 5:27am / Australia (Victoria) / Work
by boo / 11/16/2014 at 10:07pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, after visiting friends for the weekend, I took the wrong train home. It was going in completely the opposite direction. I've now missed the last train back, will miss work tomorrow and have just been asked to vacate the train station. I'm 120 miles from home. FML
by Quackadoodledoo / 11/16/2014 at 6:25pm / United Kingdom (Nottingham) / Transportation
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…