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hansam

Offline (the 09/21/2014 at 3:12pm) | Search for a member

hansam

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 6 October 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1039
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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hansam's page activity

Visits<b>ForXToday</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 2:15am<b>xXsnowbreezeXx</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 5:05pm<b>ewmoldycheese</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 12:38pm<b>Zero_TAlent_</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 5:22pm<b>olpally</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 2:05pm<b>Pleonasm</b> - the 04/11/2014 at 8:42am<b>lolnothanks</b> - the 03/25/2014 at 3:15am<b>Jay_FTW</b> - the 02/19/2014 at 10:57am<b>mariannezr</b> - the 02/02/2014 at 12:02am<b>joea21</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 10:41pm<b>Vanillanougat</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 5:56pm<b>That_Ginger</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 3:03pm<b>EmmaMK</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 5:14am<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/12/2014 at 4:46pm<b>The_Tenth_Doctor</b> - the 01/11/2014 at 5:54am<b>sophiaaxxgrace</b> - the 01/08/2014 at 8:59pm<b>paindnsicuas</b> - the 01/08/2014 at 6:00pm<b>foxxakush</b> - the 01/07/2014 at 10:36pm

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hansam's favorite FMLs

Today, my son asked me if the short films I write are for little kids or for adults. Since I write horror-filled films, I said it was for adults. He went and told his teacher that I made "adult films". FML

#20514612
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36199) - you deserved it (4855)

On 02/20/2013 at 7:01am - kids - by Laila - United States

Today, I went to my cousin's wedding. The groom walked over when the two of us were talking, took one good look at me, slapped me on the ass, and said, "You know, if I wasn't marrying Rose here, you'd be next." Yeah, about that: I'm a 16-year old guy. FML

#20485957
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36750) - you deserved it (4156)

On 01/30/2013 at 7:21am - love - by Denki (man) - China (Beijing)

Today, I held a door open for a sweet old lady with a walker. After she went through the door, she turned and said, "That's not how you're gonna get into my pants, son." FML

#20466086
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35662) - you deserved it (3713)

On 01/18/2013 at 10:25am - misc - by Keastwood013 - United States

Today, I finally got to conduct my first questioning of a suspect, who had been arrested in connection with a car theft. As I recited the Miranda warning to him, my mind went totally blank, and after a few seconds, he sarcastically continued the speech for me. FML

#20464395
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30344) - you deserved it (14555)

On 01/17/2013 at 12:15pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my girlfriend came back from visiting her family. She'd forgotten to take her pills, and decided to "catch up" by taking almost a week's worth of birth control and prescription pills. She's fine, but I had to convince the ER staff that she's not suicidal, just stupid. FML

#20462590
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40970) - you deserved it (3453)

On 01/16/2013 at 1:26pm - health - by SF49 - United States

Today, my boyfriend yet again decided to act like Edward Cullen from Twilight, and got his friend to act like Jacob. Every time they're around, my boyfriend always looks stoned and constipated, and his friend is shirtless. I feel like I'm in a shitty romance movie. FML

#20460771
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42899) - you deserved it (7376)

On 01/15/2013 at 1:57pm - love - by Bella (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out that the woman from My Strange Addiction who can't stop picking her scabs is married. I've been single for two years and I don't even pick my nose. FML

#20179069
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19285) - you deserved it (2991)

On 11/25/2012 at 11:39pm - love - by Sam (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, while at school, a bra fell out of my coat. After the initial shock, people started congratulating me on finally getting a girlfriend. I didn't have the heart to tell them it was my mom's. FML

#20175088
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25116) - you deserved it (3435)

On 11/23/2012 at 10:56am - misc - by Tymer (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went to see a movie with three of my friends, and I was sharing popcorn with one of them. Halfway through the movie, my friend asked me why I wasn't eating our popcorn. I then realised I'd been taking popcorn from the man sitting next to me. FML

#20160393
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25599) - you deserved it (7604)

On 11/12/2012 at 12:27pm - misc - by mm (woman) - United Kingdom (Warrington)

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my parents. My dad looked at him and said, "Nice outfit, but it's a little late for Halloween." Before I could intervene, my boyfriend said that joke had been done to death, to which my dad retorted, "Yeah, so has your mum." Instant fistfight. FML

#20144826
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29342) - you deserved it (3006)

On 11/02/2012 at 7:50pm - love - by for fuck sake dad (woman) - Ireland (Limerick)

Today, my family and I are sitting in our house while Hurricane Sandy is going on. My grandma is freaking out because she believes it's our recently deceased dog Sandy getting revenge for putting her to sleep and getting a new dog. FML

#20138973
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26123) - you deserved it (2338)

On 10/29/2012 at 5:45pm - animals - by With_Love929 - United States (New York)

Today, I came home from college to find my favorite silk nightie that I had left behind being modeled by Bernie, the family dog. Nobody will admit to who put it on him. I don't know what's worse, that my family is a bunch of assholes, or that my nightie is big enough to fit a Saint Bernard. FML

#20129867
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19433) - you deserved it (3325)

On 10/23/2012 at 2:05pm - misc - by nicedoggy (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my parents gave me a sock and card for my eighteenth birthday. The card said, "Now that Dobby is free, get out." FML

#20118693
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28057) - you deserved it (3437)

On 10/15/2012 at 9:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, my teenage daughter asked me how old I was when I lost my virginity. I sarcastically replied that I'm still a virgin. She looked at me blankly and said, "Jeez, no wonder you're so uptight. You need to get laid, mom." FML

#20104739
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27160) - you deserved it (6960)

On 10/06/2012 at 8:05pm - kids - by TheVirginJenny - United States (Washington)

Today, as an introduction to the history of China, I asked my APA World History class to write a 500 word essay on a historical Chinese person. Out of a class of 18, five of them were about Mulan. FML

#20102571
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21327) - you deserved it (4591)

On 10/05/2012 at 5:47am - work - by desperate (woman) - Malta



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