hannahisthewin

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hannahisthewin

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 22 July 1997 (18 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4815
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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hannahisthewin's page activity

Visits<b>wanted_2_want</b> - the 04/10/2016 at 5:01pm<b>BeepBeepSwerve</b> - the 06/10/2014 at 8:44pm<b>TEZZ</b> - the 10/12/2013 at 3:22am<b>Hazamachi</b> - the 10/10/2013 at 7:00am<b>Zoeythedinosaur</b> - the 07/26/2013 at 7:25pm<b>MissVeracity</b> - the 07/16/2013 at 10:47am<b>VVasquez</b> - the 06/29/2013 at 11:42pm<b>Nordrag</b> - the 06/29/2013 at 4:24am<b>Rhendrick69</b> - the 06/29/2013 at 1:51am<b>jello22</b> - the 06/28/2013 at 12:26am<b>erynys</b> - the 06/27/2013 at 6:38pm<b>RainbowInput</b> - the 06/27/2013 at 8:07am<b>shanekicksass</b> - the 06/27/2013 at 1:13am<b>Oxidation</b> - the 06/26/2013 at 11:38pm<b>justmyluck79</b> - the 06/26/2013 at 5:23pm<b>HKCgrimmjow</b> - the 06/26/2013 at 5:21pm<b>MrConcise</b> - the 06/26/2013 at 5:07pm<b>thewhitelover3</b> - the 06/26/2013 at 5:02pm

hannahisthewin's FML badges

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hannahisthewin's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to pee in my cat's litter box, just to avoid witnessing my mom having sex in the living room on my way to the bathroom. FML

by Anonymous / 06/03/2013 at 1:47am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy condoms. My card was declined, and I had to stand and watch in morbid fascination as the man behind me kindly paid for my purchase. His reason was "God forbid a maxed out Visa should get in the way of fucking." FML

by Samprib / 06/01/2013 at 1:09am / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that the girl I've been talking to online and sending certain pictures to is actually my ex's new boyfriend. He ended up telling me he'd just wanted to see how he compared to me down below because my ex refused to go into detail about it. FML

by WTF / 06/01/2013 at 12:03am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, my dad went snooping on my laptop, and saw that I'd recently looked up 2 Girls, 1 Cup. It was out of morbid curiosity, but he thinks I'm into "satanic porn", and confiscated every electronic device I own. Now I have to sneak to the library just to check my emails. FML

by nbj10 / 05/31/2013 at 6:42pm / Singapore / Miscellaneous

Today, thanks to an idiotic, "hilariously edgy" advert that screened in the very early evening, my 6-year-old son keeps repeating the phrase "I want a vasectomy" to everyone he sees. I've never received so many dirty looks in my life. FML

by theybitchaboutgnomesbutnotthis?? / 05/31/2013 at 6:25pm / United Kingdom (Devon) / Kids

Today, my friends and I went out for drinks. I'm the only one who's actually 21 or over, and they have fake IDs. Not only was I the only one to be carded, the bartender thought that my actual ID was fake. I got kicked out while my friends kept drinking. FML

by whyme / 05/31/2013 at 2:47pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, while feeding my neighbour's cats, I mistakenly switched up their foods. One has medicated food that causes drowsiness. The healthy cat got knocked out like a log. I panicked, laid him out by the bed, and spilled milk around his head to make it look "natural." I think I'm going to hell. FML

by fuckshitcockwaffle / 05/31/2013 at 10:59am / Australia (Victoria) / Animals

Today, I had to set parental controls on my iPad so my dad couldn't watch dirty videos on Youtube. FML

by Anonymous / 05/31/2013 at 12:20am / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend "finally figured out" that he couldn't possibly be the father of my child, and publicly broke up with me. When I reminded him that I was already pregnant when we first met, he "extra" broke up with me for making him look stupid. FML

by Anonymous / 05/30/2013 at 11:28pm / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, while working as a lifeguard, a kid took a dump in the pool. When I told everyone to clear the pool so we could clean it, another kid promptly stared at me, stood at the shallow end right where I was standing, pulled down his trunks, and peed on my feet. FML

by heyyoitsapotato / 05/30/2013 at 10:35pm / United States / Work

Today, we had a get together for work at a restaurant I've never heard of. After spending all week trying to make a good impression on my new boss and co-workers, I showed up in a pair of shorts and a Star Wars T-Shirt. Turns out it was one of the fanciest restaurants in town. FML

by Lizzie / 05/30/2013 at 6:32pm / United States (Michigan) / Work

Today, in a public restroom, an elderly lady started bitching me out for not washing my hands. I was so intimidated that I did so under her accusing watch. I'm quite intolerant to many soaps, and I now have a horrible rash on my left hand because I was too frightened to explain. FML

by :( / 05/30/2013 at 5:18pm / Japan (Tokyo) / Health

Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old son covering my nose and mouth with his hand and complaining, "Noooo, you need to die now." FML

by life insurance for 1 / 05/30/2013 at 12:29pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I uttered the phrase "the pot calling the kettle black" in class. Moments later, I'd been called a "racist twerp" and kicked out of class by the same English teacher who once tried to have another kid suspended for using the word "titillate", because apparently it's "pornographic". FML

by Anonymous / 05/30/2013 at 11:20am / United Kingdom (Northamptonshire) / Love

Today, my landlord emailed me, stating that she hasn't been receiving my rent. After some investigation, I found out she's been using the money to buy booze, and hasn't been putting it into the house owner's account. FML

by BrokeAsHell / 05/30/2013 at 4:51am / Australia (Victoria) / Money