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hannahisthewin's favorite FMLs
by whatno / 06/19/2013 at 7:40pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 06/19/2013 at 12:12pm / United States (New York) / Kids
Today, I woke up early, went to the gym, then came home and showered. When I went into my room to change, my mom woke up and started pounding on my door, screaming about how lazy and useless I was for sleeping so late. When I tried to tell her otherwise, she grounded me for "talking back". FML
by Anonymous / 06/19/2013 at 11:29am / United States (Virginia) / Health
Today, my sister came to stay with me in my apartment for the last few weeks of her difficult pregnancy. However she didn't tell me she was bringing her two dogs, her jackass of a husband, my bratty nephew and an inflatable kiddie pool so she could have a natural water birth in my living room. FML
by Anonymous / 06/18/2013 at 6:48pm / United States (New York) / Kids
Today, I witnessed an elderly lady getting mugged. I ran over to the guy mugging her and offered him the money in my wallet in return for him leaving her alone. The old lady snatched my money and ran away with the mugger. What the hell just happened? FML
by No money, mo' problems / 06/18/2013 at 6:01pm / United States / Money
Today, my parents took my iPad back to the store and exchanged it for two cheap knock off tablets. Reason being my little brother threatened to run away because I had one and he didn't. I bought the iPad on my own after graduation. They kept the difference in price. FML
by evilmuffinlord / 06/18/2013 at 2:34am / United States (Texas) / Kids
Today, my husband was in our newborn's room, holding and talking to him. I guess he forgot the baby monitor, because I overheard him say, "Wanna know a secret? Daddy kills people." I really hope he was just quoting Dexter. FML
by imarriedanaxemurderer / 06/18/2013 at 1:01am / United States (Illinois) / Kids
Today, as I was walking home, I noticed a man and a woman arguing in their driveway. To avoid an awkward situation, I crossed the street. I then had to walk past a creepy guy watering his plants in his underwear while looking directly at me. FML
by ProAwkward / 06/18/2013 at 12:07am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by young grandpa / 06/17/2013 at 6:49pm / United States (Georgia) / Kids
by Anonymous / 06/15/2013 at 3:32am / United States (Louisiana) / Love
Today, I was going through my daughter's contacts, except all of them had names from Harry Potter. I found the name "Mom." I was relieved I didn't have some silly name, until I realized it wasn't my number; it was her father's new wife. My number was under "Voldemort." FML
by Jill / 06/15/2013 at 12:19am / United States (California) / Kids
Today, I went to get an HPV vaccine after being convinced to by my mom. I stayed in the waiting room afterwards, because the vaccine has the possible side-effect of causing fainting. I didn't faint; instead, I spent the next 15 minutes giggling uncontrollably like a psycho. FML
by Anonymous / 06/11/2013 at 2:41pm / United States (Illinois) / Health
Today, I decided to try wearing eyeshadow, even though I'm not that girly. When I asked for help after several failed attempts, my sister walked in and said, "It's easy, just do what I do." She put the makeup on herself and looked amazing. She's eight. FML
by Anonymous / 06/11/2013 at 12:11pm / United States (Illinois) / Kids
Today, I was meeting my boyfriend's family for the first time. The minute I stepped in the door his mother hit me in the face and kicked me out because I was "the slut her husband cheated on her with." My older sister and I look much alike. Too much alike. FML
by Anonymous / 06/11/2013 at 11:20am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
by Rjlup / 06/11/2013 at 10:00am / United States (Colorado) / Animals
- Today, I truly understood that I was in Germany when, in my workplace, during our lunch break, one… Today, on the road in China, I committed a small offense. A cop saw me, stopped me and told me that… Today, I’m a student in China, and I attended a welcoming party for the new students. It consisted…