hannahisthewin

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hannahisthewin

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 22 July 1997 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 5759
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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hannahisthewin's page activity

Visits<b>wanted_2_want</b> - the 04/10/2016 at 5:01pm<b>BeepBeepSwerve</b> - the 06/10/2014 at 8:44pm<b>TEZZ</b> - the 10/12/2013 at 3:22am<b>Hazamachi</b> - the 10/10/2013 at 7:00am<b>Zoeythedinosaur</b> - the 07/26/2013 at 7:25pm<b>MissVeracity</b> - the 07/16/2013 at 10:47am<b>VVasquez</b> - the 06/29/2013 at 11:42pm<b>Nordrag</b> - the 06/29/2013 at 4:24am<b>Rhendrick69</b> - the 06/29/2013 at 1:51am<b>jello22</b> - the 06/28/2013 at 12:26am<b>erynys</b> - the 06/27/2013 at 6:38pm<b>RainbowInput</b> - the 06/27/2013 at 8:07am<b>shanekicksass</b> - the 06/27/2013 at 1:13am<b>Oxidation</b> - the 06/26/2013 at 11:38pm<b>justmyluck79</b> - the 06/26/2013 at 5:23pm<b>HKCgrimmjow</b> - the 06/26/2013 at 5:21pm<b>MrConcise</b> - the 06/26/2013 at 5:07pm<b>thewhitelover3</b> - the 06/26/2013 at 5:02pm

hannahisthewin's FML badges

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hannahisthewin's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at working at Burger King as a cashier. A girl I met last night came in and said, "Aren't you that guy from last night?" Last night, I had told her I was going to medical school and was going to be a doctor in less than a year. FML

by Jamie / 04/04/2009 at 10:42am / United States (Maryland) / Love

Today, I was on MSN with my friend and my 9 year old brother. My friend asked me for some advice about how to give a guy a good blowjob. I went into great detail, and then realised that I had typed it to the wrong window. I gave my little brother tips on how to perform fellatio. FML

by imsorrytimmy / 04/02/2009 at 11:34am / United Kingdom (Wolverhampton) / Intimacy

Today, I went to Starbucks to get coffee. The employees told me that there was no more coffee. I started cursing at them and told them that I am in a really big hurry, and that I need coffee every day. They had been yelling back the whole time. Little did I realize, they were saying April Fool's. FML

by lisa321 / 04/01/2009 at 10:36pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, for April fools I decided to set off the smoke detectors in my friend's apartment while he was sleeping and saran wrap the outside of his bedroom doorway so he would smack into it. Instead, he jumped out the window and broke his leg. FML

by nic / 04/01/2009 at 4:06pm / United States (Virginia) / Health

Today, I saw a spider in my bathtub, so instead of killing it, i decided to bring my dog inside the bathroom to kill the spider for me. Turns out that the spider was a black widow, and my dog was bit. The dog killed the spider. The spider killed my dog. FML

by Anonymous / 03/29/2009 at 1:04am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, me and my friend decided to spy on my crush. He lives across the street, so we climbed on the roof of my house and watched him with binoculars. He was working out, and after 5 minutes he started writing something. He put a piece of paper against the window and it said, 'Stop watching me.' FML

by Creep / 03/27/2009 at 8:24pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

Today, I got fired from my job for harassing customers over the weekend. I didn't work over the weekend. I left my nametag there on Friday and my co-workers thought it would be funny to wear my nametag all weekend. One of them got into a fight with a customer and they took her 'name' down. FML

by McFired / 03/23/2009 at 8:08am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

Today, I was at a sandwich shop and couldn't help but secretly remove a loose hair from a girl standing in front of me. I yanked it and she instantly began screaming and crying. It was in fact a very long mole hair. The thing started bleeding like a gunshot wound. My apologies went unnoticed. FML

by Mason_Jayson / 03/22/2009 at 3:45pm / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was pulled over by my father who is a police officer. He was training a rookie and gave me a breathalyzer test to show his trainee how to do it. I blew a .15 and was taken to jail. FML

by Jesse / 03/20/2009 at 1:48am / United States (Kentucky) / Transportation

Today, I saw an attractive man outside the club I was trying to get into to. We talked, and ended up having sex in my apartment. The next day when I was dropping him off, I discovered he was homeless and was outside the club begging for money. My house is suddenly out of bread and cheese. FML

by Melaknee / 03/18/2009 at 8:10pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, I asked my boyfriend while he was eating potato chips if he wanted to eat me. He looked at the potato chips, he looked at me and said "Unless your vagina turns into a potato chip, I'd rather eat these." FML

by myennechee / 03/18/2009 at 1:22am / Germany (Hamburg) / Intimacy

Today, I was walking through Macy's with my girlfriend. I stopped to admire a mannequin's ass, joking with my girlfriend like I was touching it. Then I slapped it. It wasn't a mannequin. FML

by Noname / 03/17/2009 at 6:16am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my dad gave me a promise ring on my one year anniversary with my boyfriend and made me swear I would wait til marriage. Four hours later he walked in on us having sex in my bedroom. FML

by thiswouldhappen. / 03/16/2009 at 10:19pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I got a letter saying I was no longer a student at my college and my current work is void since I had ignored and refused to pay my tuition bill. Over the past month I've been deleting these pesky emails saying 'FINAL WARNING regarding payment' thinking it was more spam. They weren't. FML

by goddamnit / 03/13/2009 at 10:57pm / United States (Virginia) / Money

Today, I called a priest "lame". He responded jokingly with "God will smite you!" I laughed and walked out the door. I tripped and broke my ankle. FML

by lolzor / 03/12/2009 at 8:07am / Australia (Queensland) / Health