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hannahisthewin

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hannahisthewin
  • Town/Country : Mobile, Alabama, United States
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 22 July 1997 (16 years)
  • Number of visits : 773
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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hannahisthewin's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at working at Burger King as a cashier. A girl I met last night came in and said, "Aren't you that guy from last night?" Last night, I had told her I was going to medical school and was going to be a doctor in less than a year. FML

#797923
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11933) - you deserved it (133675)

On 04/04/2009 at 10:42am - love - by Jamie (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was on MSN with my friend and my 9 year old brother. My friend asked me for some advice about how to give a guy a good blowjob. I went into great detail, and then realised that I had typed it to the wrong window. I gave my little brother tips on how to perform fellatio. FML

#764991
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22427) - you deserved it (102657)

On 04/02/2009 at 11:34am - intimacy - by imsorrytimmy (woman) - United Kingdom (Wolverhampton)

Today, I went to Starbucks to get coffee. The employees told me that there was no more coffee. I started cursing at them and told them that I am in a really big hurry, and that I need coffee every day. They had been yelling back the whole time. Little did I realize, they were saying April Fool's. FML

#757455
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6788) - you deserved it (81436)

On 04/01/2009 at 10:36pm - misc - by lisa321 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, for April fools I decided to set off the smoke detectors in my friend's apartment while he was sleeping and saran wrap the outside of his bedroom doorway so he would smack into it. Instead, he jumped out the window and broke his leg. FML

#748414
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16822) - you deserved it (104106)

On 04/01/2009 at 4:06pm - health - by nic (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I saw a spider in my bathtub, so instead of killing it, i decided to bring my dog inside the bathroom to kill the spider for me. Turns out that the spider was a black widow, and my dog was bit. The dog killed the spider. The spider killed my dog. FML

#674037
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68782) - you deserved it (148507)

On 03/29/2009 at 1:04am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, me and my friend decided to spy on my crush. He lives across the street, so we climbed on the roof of my house and watched him with binoculars. He was working out, and after 5 minutes he started writing something. He put a piece of paper against the window and it said, 'Stop watching me.' FML

#650213
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11523) - you deserved it (123252)

On 03/27/2009 at 8:24pm - misc - by Creep (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I got fired from my job for harassing customers over the weekend. I didn't work over the weekend. I left my nametag there on Friday and my co-workers thought it would be funny to wear my nametag all weekend. One of them got into a fight with a customer and they took her 'name' down. FML

#549700
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64022) - you deserved it (6135)

On 03/23/2009 at 8:08am - work - by McFired (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was at a sandwich shop and couldn't help but secretly remove a loose hair from a girl standing in front of me. I yanked it and she instantly began screaming and crying. It was in fact a very long mole hair. The thing started bleeding like a gunshot wound. My apologies went unnoticed. FML

#532942
331 comments

Today, I was pulled over by my father who is a police officer. He was training a rookie and gave me a breathalyzer test to show his trainee how to do it. I blew a .15 and was taken to jail. FML

#483516
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31724) - you deserved it (128572)

On 03/20/2009 at 1:48am - misc - by Jesse (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I saw an attractive man outside the club I was trying to get into to. We talked, and ended up having sex in my apartment. The next day when I was dropping him off, I discovered he was homeless and was outside the club begging for money. My house is suddenly out of bread and cheese. FML

#448904
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28058) - you deserved it (129981)

On 03/18/2009 at 8:10pm - intimacy - by Melaknee (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I asked my boyfriend while he was eating potato chips if he wanted to eat me. He looked at the potato chips, he looked at me and said "Unless your vagina turns into a potato chip, I'd rather eat these." FML

#432766
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36795) - you deserved it (83140)

On 03/18/2009 at 1:22am - intimacy - by myennechee (woman) - Germany (Hamburg)

Today, I was walking through Macy's with my girlfriend. I stopped to admire a mannequin's ass, joking with my girlfriend like I was touching it. Then I slapped it. It wasn't a mannequin. FML

#408707
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39279) - you deserved it (183448)

On 03/17/2009 at 6:16am - intimacy - by Noname (man) - United States (California)

Today, my dad gave me a promise ring on my one year anniversary with my boyfriend and made me swear I would wait til marriage. Four hours later he walked in on us having sex in my bedroom. FML

#400298
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41292) - you deserved it (228902)

On 03/16/2009 at 10:19pm - intimacy - by thiswouldhappen. - United States (Florida)

Today, I got a letter saying I was no longer a student at my college and my current work is void since I had ignored and refused to pay my tuition bill. Over the past month I've been deleting these pesky emails saying 'FINAL WARNING regarding payment' thinking it was more spam. They weren't. FML

#312852
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23268) - you deserved it (104994)

On 03/13/2009 at 10:57pm - money - by goddamnit (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I called a priest "lame". He responded jokingly with "God will smite you!" I laughed and walked out the door. I tripped and broke my ankle. FML

#280211
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32010) - you deserved it (93920)

On 03/12/2009 at 8:07am - health - by lolzor (woman) - Australia (Queensland)



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