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hannahisthewin's favorite FMLs
by #isthisthepoundkey? / 11/01/2013 at 12:49pm / United States (Florida) / Work
by Anonymous / 10/31/2013 at 4:42pm / United Kingdom (Leicester) / Health
Today, some kid asked me if I was Mexican. After I explained to him that I was actually Venezuelan, he simply snorted and said, "That's the same f*cking thing. If you speak Spanish then you're Mexican." FML
by Rinelric1998 / 10/30/2013 at 10:59pm / United States (North Carolina) / Kids
by catfan / 10/30/2013 at 1:48am / United States (California) / Kids
Today, I rushed to a dentist's appointment. Once in the chair, I apologized for not having had the time to brush my teeth beforehand. He responded with, "Ah that's alright, I just took a piss and forgot to wash my hands." FML
by Anonymous / 10/29/2013 at 2:57pm / Zimbabwe / Health
Today, I was refereeing a soccer match and I called a foul. An angry coach kept screaming at me, saying "You're crazy!" I asked him to leave the field. As he left, he lifted his middle finger and screamed, "FUCK YOU!" I ref 5-year-olds. FML
by Anonymous / 10/29/2013 at 12:21pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had a job interview that I was quite nervous about. During the interview, I struggled to get my words out and the interviewer angrily told me to, "Get on with it." I continued to struggle and was later kicked out for wasting their time. I have a stutter. FML
by abcdefghijkl1233 / 10/29/2013 at 9:23am / United Kingdom (Oldham) / Work
by animal lover... / 10/05/2013 at 6:34pm / Animals
by Mike Messenger / 10/05/2013 at 9:51am / United States (Florida) / Animals
Today, I crawled into bed with my boyfriend. He was snoring loudly which is how I knew he was passed out cold. Once I was under the blanket next to him, he slowly turned over, stared me straight in the face and said, "I have to kill you". Then started snoring again. FML
by mtr1594 / 07/31/2013 at 2:47am / United States (Nevada) / Love
by RayneWolf13 / 07/31/2013 at 2:31am / United States (Arkansas) / Love
by Bnewlove / 07/31/2013 at 12:50am / Canada (British Columbia) / Love
by TheSacredTeddyBear / 07/30/2013 at 11:06pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, I took a run in the woods. Almost halfway through, I started to feel like I was going to faint. I was so dizzy that my sight was getting blurry. I went to sit down on what seemed like a rock. It wasn't a rock. It was a huge snapping turtle. FML
by Anonymous / 07/30/2013 at 7:19pm / United States (Illinois) / Animals
by imagrouch / 07/30/2013 at 10:25am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
- Today, I was using a penis pump for the first time. It was awesome until it sucked my left testicle… Today, after having sex with my girlfriend, I jokingly held the condom above my mouth. Somehow, the… Today, my crush of over a year came over for me to take her on our first date. Today was also the…
- Today, I found my daughters hiding spot. Yeah there was dolls, matchbox cars and coloring markers.… Today, I screamed so hard during a nightmare that I developed Laryngitis. I work in a call center.… Today, I visited a new tattoo parlor, as my previous artist made me uncomfortable with his drunken,…
- Today, I’m in China, and I took my Golden Retriever to the groomer’s to get him cleaned up, because… Today, I told my son off because he lost a form. A form that I later found in my right-hand pocket.… Today, I truly understood that I was in Germany when, in my workplace, during our lunch break, one…