About hallix : I always fall in love with fictional characters. And then they die.
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hallix's favorite FMLs
Today, my girlfriend took our prank war way too far and had a package sent to me at home. Confused, I opened it. It contained a dildo and a bottle of lube. I didn't know my dad was watching over my shoulder until I heard him choke on his coffee and felt it splash over my neck. FML
by Anonymous / 08/20/2014 at 5:03pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, I was hammered, and on my way home I walked into a policeman. My logic was: if I'm on the phone, he can't talk to me, so I pulled my phone out and started speaking. The officer then asked me why I was speaking to my wallet. FML
by drunk under 18 teenager / 08/19/2014 at 9:37am / Morocco (Marrakech-Tensift-Al Haouz) / Geek
by Degueusement / 08/18/2014 at 12:48am / Intimacy
Today, I found out my girlfriend has been cheating on me. When I told my sister, she just smiled, held up a closed fist, and said "Look at the number of fucks I give!" She then raised a finger, said "Oops. Finger spasm!" then lowered it again. FML
by meltdowninrels / 08/15/2014 at 6:09pm / New Zealand (Wellington) / Love
by not a dick-man / 08/12/2014 at 1:05pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
by weirded out / 08/10/2014 at 10:22pm / United States (California) / Work
by WickedRene / 08/01/2014 at 9:57pm / United States (New York) / Kids
Today, my fiancé said "Rachel" instead of my name when asked to repeat, "I take thee, Emily, to be my lawfully wedded wife." I was shocked, so he explained while laughing that he doesn't even know a Rachel. He ruined our wedding for a Friends quote. FML
by Emliy / 08/01/2014 at 1:06am / United States (Illinois) / Love
by Anonymous / 07/31/2014 at 12:24pm / United States (Oregon) / Kids
by idiot bro / 07/06/2014 at 2:04pm / United States (Maine) / Miscellaneous
Today, my sister was upset because she felt like no one liked her. Without thinking, I replied, "It's okay. If I acted like you, people would probably hate me, too." This sounded sympathetic in my head. FML
by wiifantcso / 07/01/2014 at 5:57pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous
by too cool / 06/30/2014 at 11:59pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by mymumdidntloveme / 06/30/2014 at 11:59pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Love
by outoflove / 06/30/2014 at 5:06pm / United States (Texas) / Love
by justno / 06/28/2014 at 8:26pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…