About haleyart : I'm blonde, I have blue eyes, and I love pandas :D
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haleyart's favorite FMLs
Today, I summoned the courage to talk to my friends about the money they owe me for my photography services at their wedding. We had agreed on a fair price, but now they're pissed, claiming that I'm being selfish and should consider it my wedding gift to them. FML
by cheese / 09/26/2013 at 5:31pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Money
Today, I went skinny-dipping with my friends. At one point, I jokingly pointed out how one of them had the smallest boobs of us all. She calmly got out of the pond, dried herself, scooped up our clothes and phones, and drove off in her car. The cops she called arrived soon after. FML
by criminal tit offender / 08/31/2013 at 12:25pm / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous
by Upset Mommy / 07/14/2013 at 12:32am / United States / Health
by nosestealer / 07/07/2013 at 5:57pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
by SpiderFather / 07/02/2013 at 4:01am / France / Kids
by Coolios / 06/24/2013 at 10:16am / United Arab Emirates (Dubai) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house. We'd been talking about the move where you pick a girl up and kiss, and how romantic that would be, so we decided to try it. When he picked me up, my head slammed against his ceiling fan. FML
by haleyart / 06/10/2013 at 12:10pm / United States (Louisiana) / Love
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML
by Anonymous / 06/07/2013 at 3:10am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
Today, I was out with my grandma when a pair of very shady guys approached us in the street, hands in their pockets. Without breaking stride, she pulled a knife out of her handbag and told them they'd better keep walking. They did. What the fuck, gran? FML
by emasculated 10000% / 05/04/2013 at 1:05pm / Sweden (Kronobergs Lan) / Miscellaneous
Today, while he was eating chicken, one of my friends asked me why I'm a vegetarian. I responded that I believe in animal rights and don't like the conditions the animals are forced to live in. He looked at me incredulously before explaining that "chickens aren't animals, they're birds." FML
by revan546 / 04/26/2013 at 9:23am / United States (New Hampshire) / Animals
Today, at the store, I noticed a girl eyeing a chocolate bunny. Her mom refused to buy it, saying they didn't have enough money. She started crying, so I decided to make her day and offered to buy it for her. Her mom reacted by slapping me across the face and calling me a "pedo." FML
by easteryegg / 04/05/2013 at 8:13pm / United States (New York) / Kids
by Badam / 03/29/2013 at 9:29pm / France (Aquitaine) / Love
Today, on Facebook, I mentioned that I'd just finished reading the novel Pet Sematary. Two hours later, I'd lost two friends and my boyfriend, after they commented "learn to spell, dumbass", "u illiterate fucker", and "well, I'm not dating you for your brains, am I?" I hate humanity. FML
by Anonymous / 03/22/2013 at 8:02pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was outside at a café and looked at my phone. When I did, a woman halfway across the patio started screaming at me, demanding I tell her who I was texting and why. She then sprinted over, furious at me for apparently badmouthing her to somebody. All I did was check the time. FML
by Anonymous / 03/17/2013 at 7:00am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, I stole a pen from the doctor's office while she wasn't looking. Later on at work, I idly pulled the pen out during a meeting. My colleague looked at me, horrified. The pen had the words "minimally invasive gynecological surgery" emblazoned on it. I'm a man. FML
by Anonymous / 02/21/2013 at 9:56pm / United States (New York) / Work