habez

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habez

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 933
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About habez : Hey, and I'm not a human, I'm a unicorn!!!!!

habez's page activity

Visits<b>andyhitts25</b> - the 01/14/2014 at 1:54pm<b>flupsht</b> - the 12/29/2013 at 8:30pm<b>Tommiix</b> - the 12/01/2013 at 10:30pm

habez's FML badges

Socialite

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Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Up and coming moderator

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habez's favorite FMLs

Today, I watched a little girl laugh while giving bread to some pigeons at a bus stop. A bus then arrived. All the pigeons moved out of the away, except one. Its head got crushed by a wheel, and some blood splattered onto the little girl's shoes, who then screamed. With laughter. FML

by B_and_W / 11/21/2013 at 6:35am / France / Kids

Today, I realized I need to start hitting the gym, when my boyfriend actually utilized my love handles during sex. FML

by ericabearr / 11/18/2013 at 3:14pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my husband got mad at me for not helping take out the groceries from the car. He yelled that I'm lazy, and that he regrets our marriage. I guess he forgot that the door handle on that side is broken and he had to let me out of the car. FML

by LetMeOut / 11/11/2013 at 1:02pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, the tickets I bought for my favorite band's concert arrived in the mail. The concert was last night. FML

by MsConfusedd / 10/27/2013 at 12:11am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my now ex-boyfriend actually claimed that his cheating didn't count because A) the other girl is his lab partner, and B) she's overweight. FML

by Anonymous / 10/25/2013 at 5:39pm / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, I had my first interview in over a year. I panicked and passed out. FML

by s13495 / 10/24/2013 at 11:52am / United Kingdom (Kingston upon Hull, City of) / Work

Today, I spent an excruciating hour walking to campus with a broken leg, only to find my professor had left a note on the door saying class was canceled. FML

by LegInPieces / 10/17/2013 at 12:34pm / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, I found out my handwriting is so bad that people think I write in Arabic. FML

by Anonymous / 10/16/2013 at 1:37pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I called my dad to let him know some details for my wedding had changed. It would have been really nice if he had paused the porno I could clearly hear in the background. FML

by hes / 10/15/2013 at 6:10am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was hanging out with a guy I like. We climbed a tree to watch the sunset, and as the sun went down, I kissed him. He fell out of the tree. FML

by lovehurts / 10/14/2013 at 12:02pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, my mom was acting really pissy, and I couldn't help but mutter that she must be on her period. Five hours later, I'm glued to the toilet with my phone, because she went all out for revenge and spiked my dinner with some hellishly potent kind of laxative. FML

by Anonymous / 10/12/2013 at 6:03pm / Iceland (Borgarfjardarsysla) / Health

Today, my bitchy co-worker decided that being given a compliment on her shoes is sexual harassment, and worthy of reporting me to our boss over. FML

by Anonymous / 10/12/2013 at 2:19am / United States (Connecticut) / Work

Today, it's the fifth day in a row my workmate has worn the exact same clothing. We share the desk. I'm absolutely positive he hasn't hit the shower since last weekend. FML

by Anonymous / 10/11/2013 at 11:40am / United States (California) / Work

Today, during a family dinner, my 5-year-old son excitedly told everyone that I let him use my "douche" last week. My parents glared at me in anger and horror, and only after they left did I find out that his brother had told him that's what my loofah is called. FML

by Lady Douche of Asscrackington / 10/10/2013 at 4:00pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids

Today, I was talking dirty to my long-distance lover while touching myself, when a cockroach fell from my ceiling and landed on the hand I was molesting myself with. FML

by DisgustinglyFrustrated / 10/10/2013 at 11:40am / Argentina (Santa Fe) / Intimacy