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haasje2000's favorite FMLs
by Mush / 08/27/2015 at 12:42pm / France (Languedoc-Roussillon) / Miscellaneous
by jack / 08/27/2015 at 6:56am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Health
Today, I was washing my face like I normally do. My mom walked by as I was wiping my face and said "That's the washcloth I use to wipe my ass!" My dad and brothers are now only addressing me as "Assface." FML
by aaaaaaaaasssssssssssssss / 08/26/2015 at 9:55am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boss broke off our relationship because he said it's inappropriate. I really liked him, but I accepted it and respected his integrity. A few hours later, I found out he's now dating my colleague. FML
by Anonymous / 08/26/2015 at 3:45am / India (West Bengal) / Love
by whovian221b / 08/25/2015 at 6:46pm / United States / Health
Today, the boy that I met online six months ago and expressed my love to sent me a picture of himself and confessed how old he really was: thirteen. I'm eighteen years old and holding a steady job. FML
by FlyAwayPlease / 08/25/2015 at 6:38pm / United Kingdom (Flintshire) / Love
Today, I went on a first date with my crush. Right before the date, I noticed a monstrous pimple in the middle of my forehead. I covered it with make-up, but it was still visible. The guy spent the whole evening laughing at me and telling me that I look like an unicorn. FML
by NocturnalFox / 08/25/2015 at 3:46pm / Czech Republic (Plzensky kraj) / Love
Today, a fifth grader gave me a note from his "father" excusing him from PE. It was riddled with spelling errors and shockingly poor grammar, so I rejected it as a blatant fake. Several hours later, I was informed by his very angry father that it wasn't actually fake. FML
by shit.jpg / 08/25/2015 at 3:22pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids
by Anonymous / 08/25/2015 at 2:31pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
Today, my cousin's husband argued adamantly that the Earth doesn't rotate, and treated me like an idiot when I explained why he was wrong. Not even a video from space of the Earth rotating convinced him. This idiot is a teacher. FML
by Schizomaniac / 08/25/2015 at 1:33pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I said I wouldn't find her attractive in 20 years. What I actually said was that I wouldn't sleep with her mother now, who happens to be 20 years older than her. FML
by Shelling Ford / 08/25/2015 at 7:55am / Germany (Bayern) / Love
Today, I took a phone call in the bathroom, since the rest of the house was too noisy. I sat down on the toilet and waited while they put me on hold. After a while, I must have forgotten the lid was down and my pants were still on, because I started peeing myself. FML
by Anon / 08/25/2015 at 6:10am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was undressing for my girlfriend. I thought I was being all smooth and sexy, until I went to sit on the side of the bed and beckon her over. Instead, I sat heavily on my balls, screamed, then fell off the bed sobbing like a girl. FML
by Anonymous / 08/25/2015 at 3:32am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 08/25/2015 at 2:49am / United States / Kids
- Today, I recieved a phone call to say I had gotten a job I really needed. Half an hour later, they… Today, I was running late to work and noticed that my car keys weren't in the right spot. I quickly… Today while hanging out with my boyfriend and two of our guy friends I realized I was what you call…