About guskta : Amateur skateboarder and soccer player . Pro at life; Sleep is life. While you're here you might as well give a fuck. No one else does.
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guskta's favorite FMLs
Today, the play I was directing opened. The curtain opened, and my lead actor and actress weren't prepared. I could tell from the looks on their faces as the whole audience saw him balls deep in her, doggy style, on stage. FML
by headinabag33 / 02/14/2016 at 8:57pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
Today, I gave my girlfriend a hickey barely an inch from her vagina. She texted me later, saying her dad saw it and had grounded her. So yeah, I'm not sure I even want to know what the hell goes on in their house. FML
by W T F / 06/03/2015 at 3:22am / United States (Alabama) / Intimacy
Today, a guy hit on me. It's such a rare occurrence that I didn't know how to react, so I panicked and said "Sorry, I have to go!" Then I remembered we were on a bus, and just turned around and awkwardly pretended he wasn't there. FML
by Anonymous / 05/31/2015 at 9:58am / United States / Transportation
by D: / 02/19/2015 at 3:45pm / United States (Colorado) / Money
by Anonymous / 01/30/2015 at 3:16pm / United States / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 01/30/2015 at 12:41pm / Canada / Kids
Today, I volunteered to tutor a 17-year-old girl in science. I had to explain in detail of what the real Big Bang theory was, as she only knew about the show. Later, I heard I was reported by her because apparently, "I was trying to convert her to Scientology." I now know why she needed a tutor. FML
by sushipanda9 / 10/20/2014 at 8:07pm / United States (Florida) / Work
by Anonymous / 10/10/2014 at 5:51pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
Today, my loving five-year-old daughter started singing Christmas carols again. Ones that she made up herself, of course. Including "Walking in a fucking wonderland" and "Rudolph the red nosed asshole". FML
by SaintGoobers / 10/06/2014 at 4:24pm / United States (New York) / Kids
by younggirl101 / 08/05/2014 at 12:51pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Kids
by Anonymous / 07/22/2014 at 8:43pm / Norway (Hordaland) / Transportation
by HowAreYouAlive / 07/09/2014 at 12:24am / United States (Virginia) / Work
Today, my laziness reached an all-time high. I had a dream that I was at school and had spilled all the contents of my backpack onto the floor. I then purposely shook myself out of my sleep to avoid cleaning up the mess in my dream. FML
by Anonymous / 06/16/2014 at 12:33pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, after a long day at work, I was starving, so I stopped by the drive-through for something to eat. When I got home and hurriedly opened the bag, all I found inside was napkins. Thanks, McDonald's. FML
by can't eat paper / 05/10/2014 at 9:34pm / United States / Work
by Motha / 04/09/2014 at 1:17am / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…