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guitarbeast

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3121
  • Number of comments : 166
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About guitarbeast : I love music, and I love guitar

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guitarbeast's favorite FMLs

Today, I caught a cab to take me to a hospital appointment. The driver turned around and told me I was in the Cash Cab. I got really excited and screamed. That is, until she laughed and said, "Just kidding. I always wanted to do that to someone." FML

#17128085
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35121) - you deserved it (8434)

On 07/15/2011 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, while at my job at a Christian summer camp, I overheard one of the kids swearing. I politely said, "Please, only speak as Jesus would." He paused for a moment and replied, "Go to hell." FML

#17109395
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19681) - you deserved it (47060)

On 07/14/2011 at 4:14pm - work - by sbutler (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I finished reading a book about the treatment of mental patients and decided to use some of the strategies on my dad. We've never gotten along better. FML

#16971210
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33470) - you deserved it (4014)

On 07/04/2011 at 9:24am - misc - by Bekah (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I ran to my car and zoomed to work to avoid being late. I was in such a hurry, I forgot to close all my windows. When I got back to my car, I found a dead squirrel inside. FML

#16937158
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23007) - you deserved it (8129)

On 07/01/2011 at 3:22pm - animals - by anon - United States (Michigan)

Today, I tried to comfort my daughter who'd been crying non-stop for hours. She thinks Chuck Norris is coming to kill her, and I can't convince her otherwise. FML

#16936128
311 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37005) - you deserved it (5025)

On 07/01/2011 at 1:42pm - kids - by parenting sucks - United States (New York)

Today, I introduced my first serious boyfriend to my mother over dinner. He is Asian. My mom insisted on calling him "Ching Chong". His name is Kevin. FML

#16918734
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51396) - you deserved it (4754)

On 06/30/2011 at 3:24am - misc - by asianlover (woman) - Finland (Western Finland)

Today, my boyfriend tried to tell me that he was worried our child might not be mine because he was cheating on me when I got pregnant. FML

#16912974
444 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64732) - you deserved it (6756)

On 06/29/2011 at 7:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, it has been 8 months since I started a photography project in which I would take a picture of the same tree every day for a year. I just heard a noise outside. They cut the tree down. FML

#16877563
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47553) - you deserved it (4168)

On 06/27/2011 at 3:55am - misc - by A girl - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, I got home to find my truck smashed by a fallen old tree. I was going to have the tree removed next week. FML

#16809591
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28232) - you deserved it (5556)

On 06/23/2011 at 12:47am - misc - by Username - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was complimented on how big my penis was. I was complimented by the guy peeing next to me in the men's restroom at McDonald's. FML

#16794914
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48431) - you deserved it (7438)

On 06/22/2011 at 4:13am - intimacy - by fmlguy382 - United States

Today, my marriage counselor got divorced. FML

#16725425
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41623) - you deserved it (4596)

On 06/18/2011 at 4:51am - love - by screwed - United States

Today, I watched my boss try to stick a magnet to cardboard. FML

#16671761
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38478) - you deserved it (3573)

On 06/15/2011 at 1:46am - work - by MegaBear - United States

Today, I was stuck in stand-still traffic for 5 minutes, before realizing I had stopped behind a parked car. FML

#16624894
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12405) - you deserved it (54355)

On 06/12/2011 at 9:51am - misc - by El Stupido - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my apartment burned to the ground. I was packed and ready to move out tomorrow. FML

#16622108
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54730) - you deserved it (3022)

On 06/12/2011 at 2:37am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my co-worker finally gave me a check for the money he owes me. In the memo line, he wrote "for swallowing". Now I have to go cash it. FML

#16577397
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35963) - you deserved it (6568)

On 06/09/2011 at 12:01pm - intimacy - by Patrick R - United States (Texas)



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