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guineagirl96

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guineagirl96

5Fucked!

guineagirl96guineagirl96
  • Town/Country : Vienna, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 25 January 1996 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2066
  • Number of comments : 63
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 16 posted

About guineagirl96 : Hi! I'm a math/CS major also minoring in music. I play oboe, english horn, baroque oboe, oboe d'amore, soprano sax, and jazz piano. In addition, I sing and am a contralto. I also have three guinea pigs and dance. But most of all, I'm the world's biggest klutz.

guineagirl96's page activity

Visits<b>Arsenal123</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 11:52am<b>singhiskiing</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 2:27am<b>shupwhup</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 10:35pm<b>_awwhellnaw_</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 8:49am<b>balboa_2</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 6:43am<b>graysco18</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 12:47pm<b>TheDog6</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 10:32am<b>pizzafrommars</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 2:37pm<b>retrogamer314</b> - the 07/09/2015 at 10:23pm<b>lukeDAduke157</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 10:44pm<b>quazimozart</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 6:02pm<b>hardesty2904</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 5:43pm<b>Codezlol</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 12:51pm<b>Jake42100</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 1:11am<b>adam97</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 11:32pm<b>imtheprincess26</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 12:44am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 10:24am<b>nathy_p_rojas</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 10:36pm

Fucked!<b>TotallyTrudy</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 4:51am<b>wfacsc</b> - the 05/29/2015 at 12:24am<b>dakatabg</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 6:30am<b>NH_Freelancer</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 5:02am<b>mansfield_j</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 4:49am

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guineagirl96's favorite FMLs

Today, a calf kicked a needle straight into my arm hard enough to make me stab myself. The good news is I'm now fully vaccinated for cow diseases. FML

Today, I sped off down the road, then realized to my horror that my cat was clinging to the roof of the car. FML

Today, I was at my mom's funeral. My sisters and I were sitting in the front row. The funeral director, whom we had met with twice before, was going around greeting everyone. When she got to us, she asked where our mom was. Seriously? FML

#21189397
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59808) - you deserved it (3258)

On 06/26/2014 at 5:13pm - misc - by Alex - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I was talking to my boss about dogs and cats. I'm a dog person; he's a cat person. He told me that he likes cats better, because they are laid back and don't do anything all day. Before I could stop myself, I blurted out, "Just like you?" FML

#21188385
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38583) - you deserved it (26312)

On 06/25/2014 at 8:20pm - work - by Respect101 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I'm moving. While packing, I realized I hadn't seen my cat in a few hours. I called her and realized she was inside one of the hundreds of boxes in my house. I accidentally packed my cat. FML

#21139824
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43873) - you deserved it (16435)

On 05/14/2014 at 4:43pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (South Carolina)

Today, a customer cussed me out for hiding behind the counter a jacket she's been "eyeing since it came out". She loudly exclaimed that she was going to report me to my manager and get me "fired." It was my personal jacket that we don't even sell. FML

Today, my computer crashed and lost all of its data while I was making a back up. FML

#21134602
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41766) - you deserved it (3967)

On 05/09/2014 at 1:35am - misc - by mlowy - Azerbaijan (Baki)

Today, I read that egg whites make a good hair treatment. Everything was going fine until, without thinking, I turned the hot water on to wash it out. I'm still picking the cooked egg out of my hair. FML

#21129302
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25958) - you deserved it (34326)

On 05/03/2014 at 12:57am - misc - by EggHead - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my teenage daughter tried to convince me that the UK is a part of Canada. After I pulled out a map to prove her wrong, she got all angry and defensive, and said that nobody's perfect at "geometry". My daughter is an idiot. FML

#21122867
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53269) - you deserved it (10554)

On 04/25/2014 at 5:21pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my guide dog sneezed so hard that it slammed its head on the floor and knocked itself out. I have to trust this dog with my life. FML

#21117679
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54196) - you deserved it (4746)

On 04/20/2014 at 12:03am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Idaho)

Today, I was eating an apple in class. When I went to take a big bite, my teeth went right through the apple, causing me to scrape the apple right up my face. My nose then started to bleed. I'm now known as the girl who punched herself in the face with an apple. FML

#21114169
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41867) - you deserved it (7413)

On 04/15/2014 at 10:48pm - health - by Nose bleed - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went to the store to buy a phone I saw last week. I looked around a little first, then continued to the electronics section. I couldn't find the phone I saw, so I went to leave. Halfway to the exit, I was detained by security and grilled for ages over my "suspicious behaviour". FML

#21104459
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36681) - you deserved it (3503)

On 04/04/2014 at 3:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, disappointed with my results on a mathematics test, I went over it and realized my teacher had added up the marks incorrectly, leaving me with 17% less than I earned. The person who's supposed to be teaching me math can't even perform basic arithmetic. FML

#21101903
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40486) - you deserved it (3674)

On 04/01/2014 at 1:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was texting an artist friend telling her I wanted to buy her paintings; going on and on about how much I wanted it and loved the way they looked and couldn't wait to have them. I realized my phone had corrected paintings to panties. FML

#21091119
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38709) - you deserved it (5139)

On 03/19/2014 at 7:19pm - misc - by BigBlue (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, while I thought I'd never had an orgasm, my doctor informed me that I'm actually having orgasms almost every time I have sex. They just feel like utterly frustrating, slightly painful, unpleasurable and completely unsatisfying muscle contractions. FML



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