Search for a member

Offline (the 06/25/2016 at 8:23pm)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 21227
  • Number of comments : 56
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About guineagirl : note to self my mother is the bringer of death

guineagirl's page activity

Visits<b>yanalynch</b> - the 07/26/2016 at 10:13pm<b>Raelthelamb</b> - the 06/23/2016 at 12:02am<b>biggredd75</b> - the 05/21/2016 at 10:32pm<b>MissMayLaw001</b> - the 04/17/2016 at 6:10pm<b>creepy_girl</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 7:58pm<b>ASuperWhoLockian</b> - the 12/31/2015 at 8:04pm<b>FyeahPoet</b> - the 12/25/2015 at 9:25pm<b>Y0UI34574RD</b> - the 12/25/2015 at 2:29pm<b>losersanonymous</b> - the 12/25/2015 at 12:05am<b>BabooonLove</b> - the 12/20/2015 at 11:14pm<b>NYGiants1925</b> - the 12/20/2015 at 5:09am<b>Babygirl117</b> - the 12/19/2015 at 10:12pm<b>Soparot</b> - the 12/19/2015 at 8:52pm<b>LWSilverMoon</b> - the 12/19/2015 at 6:00pm<b>WolfAvenge</b> - the 12/19/2015 at 4:07pm<b>brenton490</b> - the 12/19/2015 at 3:40pm<b>sanchogrim</b> - the 12/19/2015 at 2:41pm<b>Jiratias</b> - the 12/19/2015 at 1:54pm

Fucked!<b>creepy_girl</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 1:58am<b>bandeek</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 6:43am<b>Raath00</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 2:16am

guineagirl's FML badges


You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.


You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of guineagirl's badges

guineagirl's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out my family refers to my room as "the virgin cave". FML

by Dexter_39476 / 01/24/2016 at 12:40am / Denmark (Hovedstaden) / Miscellaneous

Today, I crashed my car into a bridge, while playing a song with the line, "I crashed my car into a bridge". FML

by ugh / 01/23/2016 at 3:48pm / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, my dog once again desperately tried to yank me straight into the path of a bus. FML

by Anonymous / 01/23/2016 at 6:26am / United States (Georgia) / Animals

Today, on my second day at my new job, my supervisor told me that I was ready to make a sale on my own. Things were going well, until said supervisor interrupted my sales pitch, apologized on my behalf for being new, and stole my sale. FML

by TheNewSalesRep / 01/20/2016 at 9:37pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, I accidentally let out a silent but obscenely deadly fart in the doctor's waiting room. It was so foul that a woman got insanely pissed at her kid because she thought he'd shat his pants again. FML

by lambeaster / 01/20/2016 at 9:27am / United States (District of Columbia) / Kids

Today, I got a new roommate. He's from Mongolia. He has had 5 friends over for the last 7 hours, all speaking Mongolian. This is the most awkward party I have ever been to. FML

by Sittinginthecorner / 01/20/2016 at 12:42am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was sitting at my desk in school, and I was really bored. I started playing with the strings on my pants, only to realize 5 minutes later it looked like I was fondling my dick. FML

by xsnqw / 01/19/2016 at 5:28pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I had RA training and we were doing mock situations. During one of these, I had a seizure. Everyone thought it was fake, until I started violently throwing up. FML

by anon / 01/18/2016 at 1:53pm / Health

Today, I was having a wet dream and had a pretty vivid imagination. I ended up thrusting so hard that it showed up in reality. I literally humped so hard that I woke myself up. Not only that, but I was sleeping on the living room floor so my roommates saw and now it's their joke of the day. FML

by Anonymous / 01/17/2016 at 1:41pm / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy

Today, on my college visit, I met a perfect girl for me, sweet, gorgeous, on the same career path. I remember everything we talked about, where she is from, what sport she plays, and her recent internship. But when I went to look her up online, I couldn't remember one thing, her name. FML

by Roll Tide of Tears / 01/16/2016 at 10:28pm / United States / Love

Today, I felt kind of horny for once, so I texted my boyfriend to let him know he'd be getting some action later. He replied "I'm gonna fucken murder ur pussy when I get back!! :D" And just like that my sex drive once again crashed through the floor. FML

by Anonymous / 01/16/2016 at 1:40am / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up to fresh coffee, pancakes, and the sight of my dad digging a grave in the backyard for my dog. FML

by Anonymous / 01/16/2016 at 12:52am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I took my labrador to the vet because he seemed really sick and wasn't acting like his usual self the past few weeks. The vet said nothing was physically wrong with him and that he's most likely suffering from depression. My own depression is why I got a dog in the first place. FML

by Anonymous / 01/15/2016 at 11:41am / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

Today, my girlfriend actually slept with one of the celebrities on her "5 celebrities we're allowed to sleep with" list. FML

by Anonymous / 01/14/2016 at 7:51am / Australia / Intimacy

Today, I almost died. My friends dragged me unconcious, hypothermic and half-drowned out of the sea. A helicopter took me to the hospital where they brought me back to life. My family's reaction? "You aren't dying so we don't have to come to the hospital." They wouldn't even bring me clothes. FML