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Offline (the 09/22/2015 at 10:18pm)



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  • Number of visits : 32854
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 34 posted

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groovy579's page activity

Visits<b>CLLopez</b> - the 12/02/2015 at 11:58pm<b>RealSuperSand</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 11:28pm<b>WellThatWasRude</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 9:53pm<b>Monday_funday</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 7:19pm<b>tamesenicole</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 10:31pm<b>Mossygirl357</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 1:23am<b>ShadowlessSpear</b> - the 02/18/2015 at 10:31pm<b>OMG_ZOMBIES</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 2:36pm<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 10:29pm<b>RaspberryFlower</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 11:28am<b>Blake9250</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 7:48am<b>stuckintime</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 10:06pm<b>Puffpie</b> - the 12/20/2014 at 12:53pm<b>midnight_tiger</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 3:41pm<b>hduebdo</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 7:07pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 9:31pm<b>NicholausB</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 4:26pm<b>EmmaMK</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 11:15am

Fucked!<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 4:28am

groovy579's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of groovy579's badges

groovy579's favorite FMLs

Today, I was with my girlfriend at lunch when a group of guys came over. They started calling her a whore and a bunch of other shit, so I cussed them out. Turns out she was not only cheating on me, but all the other guys too. FML

by Jgfenix / 09/21/2015 at 8:24pm / United States (Colorado) / Love

Today, going through my late grandmother's papers, I found out that my grandfather had never been in the Nazi party. The reason he was not allowed to work as a teacher was that he had never passed his university exams. He found an invented Nazi past less shameful than academic failure. FML

by notanazigrandchildafterall / 09/21/2015 at 7:32am / Germany (Sachsen) / Miscellaneous

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It lasted about 20 seconds, and he cried during it. I later heard him telling his friends he'd given me a "damn good pounding" and "made her cum 3 times". I wish. FML

by Lady Vulva / 09/18/2015 at 10:56pm / Intimacy

Today, I went to visit my senile grandma, since she's ill and nobody else in the family visits her. I ended up having to sit through a long rant about the Illuminati, black people, and how we'd have a cure for the common cold already if it weren't for "those god damned foreigners". FML

by Anonymous / 09/17/2015 at 1:28pm / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, a guy came into my gas station, showed me the gun on his hip, and asked me to kindly empty the register. My asshole boss claimed that because we live in an open carry state, and because the guy didn't point the gun at me, that there was no actual robbery and I just gave him free money. FML

by jobless / 09/13/2015 at 10:07am / United States / Work

Today, my rarely-romantic boyfriend finally said "I love you". Too bad he was drunk, and was talking to my vagina. FML

by Queen LaQueefah / 09/13/2015 at 7:52am / United Kingdom (Derbyshire) / Intimacy

Today, I told my nephew to be careful when crossing the street in front of a bus because it might eat him. We then watched as a bus slowed down and stopped in front of a group of people. When the bus moved away, all the people were gone. My nephew is terrified, and won't stop crying. FML

by busmonster / 09/11/2015 at 8:32pm / United States (Virginia) / Kids

Today, my "friends" pulled an elaborate prank on me. First, they changed my ringtone to a recording of someone saying "Allahu Akbar" on repeat. Then, they called me as we had a moment of silence in honor of the 9/11 victims. FML

by EverettA / 09/11/2015 at 9:50am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, in the early hours of the morning, I woke up in sleep paralysis, hallucinating the sight of children hanging from the ceiling. Now I'm scared to sleep. FML

by bwoolf96 / 09/10/2015 at 8:32am / Health

Today, after coming home from a long day at work, I found out that in a house full of 5 adults, some rules still need to be set. The newest addition to the rules: No watching porn and jerking off in the living room. FML

by smh / 09/10/2015 at 2:09am / Canada / Intimacy

Today, I was robbed. I didn't know how the robber got in, as there was no clear signs of forced entry. I later found out that my psycho ex had written my address on the key I lent her when we were going out. And then purposely left it on a table in a café. FML

by Luke / 09/10/2015 at 1:56am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was driving down a completely empty street when a cop pulled me over for no reason at all. When he approached my window, I began to get defensive until he informed me I was driving the wrong way down a one way street. FML

by Anonymous / 09/09/2015 at 5:12pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I caught two kids passing notes to each other in my class, so I told them to see me afterwards. When one of the kids eventually came up, I noticed he was crying. He looked up at me and sobbed out, "I was trying to make my first friend!" FML

by Anonymous / 09/08/2015 at 8:03pm / Kids

Today, my neighbor pointed to me and said to his best friend, "This motherfucker still lives with his mama. That's why he can't get no pussy." I'm thirty. My neighbor is eleven, and correct. FML

by Anonymous / 09/06/2015 at 4:11pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I showed my daughter video footage from a security camera that showed her using her employee key to enter the store I own, disarming the alarm, and stealing several very valuable items. Her defense? That someone had "photoshopped" the video. We'll see how that goes down in court. FML

by Anonymous / 09/04/2015 at 1:01pm / United States (California) / Money