greenfishbait

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greenfishbait

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1046
  • Number of comments : 76
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About greenfishbait : My name's Danielle and i suck at this stuff. Ask for my gamer tag!

greenfishbait's page activity

Visits<b>ratman775</b> - the 11/22/2015 at 9:34pm<b>c_miller777</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 4:18pm<b>Envy22</b> - the 10/24/2015 at 1:15pm<b>RawrPancaked</b> - the 10/09/2015 at 2:27pm<b>buckstop1</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 11:13am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 11:12am<b>rairai</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 5:31am<b>bigcountry2194</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 1:05am<b>martin8337</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 8:10am<b>sanuxo_</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 12:07am<b>awesomepantTamia</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 6:41pm<b>Rstein14</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 3:59pm<b>NoOneLikeAtAll</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 6:39am<b>stevenJB</b> - the 01/10/2015 at 7:40pm<b>babyblueyes</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 3:24am<b>rabbi1010</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 4:25pm<b>Rozay333</b> - the 04/12/2014 at 9:51am<b>GreenBeast</b> - the 02/27/2014 at 3:54pm

Fucked!<b>c_miller777</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 10:18pm<b>martin8337</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 2:10pm

greenfishbait's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

See all of greenfishbait's badges

greenfishbait's favorite FMLs

Today, I finally worked up the courage to start a Facebook chat with a guy I really like. It went so well, and he even agreed to hang out sometime. Seconds after we finished our conversation, he changed his status to: "Desperate bitches really piss me off." FML

by sucksatlove / 07/25/2013 at 7:20pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, I finally worked up the courage to start a Facebook chat with a guy I really like. It went so well, and he even agreed to hang out sometime. Seconds after we finished our conversation, he changed his status to: "Desperate bitches really piss me off." FML

by sucksatlove / 07/25/2013 at 7:20pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, I had to break up a fist fight between two female residents. I work in a retirement home. FML

by Anonymous / 07/18/2013 at 9:03pm / United States (Oregon) / Work

Today, I told my girlfriend about my extreme fear of flying roaches. She immediately got upset because she thought, since I'm from the Caribbean, I would be "manlier" and "eat stuff like that for breakfast". FML

by sammy77sam / 07/15/2013 at 9:41am / Saint Kitts and Nevis (Saint George Basseterre) / Transportation

Today, my boyfriend and I were furniture shopping. They had miniature versions built of some of the desks. He commented how they were "cute for little kids" to use. They were 6 inches tall. I had to explain to him that they were only models, not real desks. I'm dating Zoolander. FML

by anonymous / 07/14/2013 at 9:07pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was eating a corndog, when my boyfriend jokingly told me to "take it deeper". I did, and ended up choking and throwing up all over the table. FML

by Anonymous / 07/11/2013 at 1:08pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, it's been the tenth restaurant meal in a row that my husband has to ruin with Instagram, in the belief that anyone cares. FML

by STOPTAKINGPICTURES / 07/08/2013 at 7:45pm / United States (New York) / Transportation

Today, my demented asswipe of a lab partner thought it'd be funny to replace the birthday gift I bought for my girlfriend with the large intestine of a recently-dissected dog. My girlfriend nearly fainted when she opened the gift box, and accused me of planning the whole thing. FML

by Anonymous / 06/28/2013 at 1:34pm / Nigeria (Lagos) / Miscellaneous

Today, I overheard my mother Skyping with her new "boyfriend" about the $1,000 she just sent him. She barely knew what internet dating was three weeks ago. FML

by weneedthatmoneytoliveon / 06/26/2013 at 10:08am / Australia (Victoria) / Money

Today, I fell asleep listening to my music and tanning at the beach. Not only did I wake up with a sunburn, but my iPhone had been stolen. FML

by maggie2014 / 06/23/2013 at 7:48pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, it's been weeks since some asshat started placing gnomes in my front and back yards. I resorted to setting up cameras, which I thought had deterred the idiot, until I walked into my kitchen this morning and found two gnomes on the counter. Nothing on the tapes. I'm freaking out here. FML

by ilivealoneandwhatthefuck / 06/23/2013 at 1:02pm / Guam / Miscellaneous

Today, my mother threw away my brand new headphones. She saw them on the couch with duct tape on the wires and assumed they were "old, broken, and cheap." I put the tape there to avoid damaging the wires. FML

by why mom, why? / 06/12/2013 at 12:59am / United States (California) / Money

Today, I was delivering pizza. When I went up to the front door, an elderly lady answered. She was wearing a floral dress that went down to her shins and had a Nicolas Cage mask on with eye holes cut out. When I glanced behind her, I saw her cats had them too. FML

by nicholascageonyourface / 06/09/2013 at 1:13am / United States (Nebraska) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got mugged on the way to my 21st birthday party at a bar. I begged the thug to at least throw me my ID, only to have him laugh and run away singing "happy birthday". FML

by ididntevendrinkthatnight / 06/07/2013 at 1:14am / United States (New York) / Money

Today, my dad called me a "deadbeat loser" after I came back from my first day of voluntary rehab for my meth problem. He's never had a job in his life and sits on the sofa all day, smoking weed and playing video games, all on my mom's salary. FML

by Anonymous / 05/05/2013 at 11:53am / United States / Miscellaneous