Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

greeneyegirl

Search for a member

greeneyegirl

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 604
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About greeneyegirl : What can I say? I'm a small-town girl, a senior in high school. I love spiderman and playing volleyball. So far so great! I'm lovin' life and the gifts it has given me.

Live it up!! :)

greeneyegirl's page activity

Visits<b>Covenant74</b> - the 01/15/2014 at 5:24am<b>olpally</b> - the 12/25/2013 at 11:42pm<b>Cristian89</b> - the 12/25/2013 at 4:47pm<b>JAL10960</b> - the 12/12/2013 at 8:13am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 11/26/2013 at 11:48am<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 11/05/2013 at 5:16am<b>chargers2588</b> - the 11/01/2013 at 12:23am<b>JD1147</b> - the 09/30/2013 at 6:57pm<b>fuckpeople307</b> - the 09/04/2013 at 1:11am<b>Jeeper4Life</b> - the 08/31/2013 at 2:54am<b>_DoubleJ_</b> - the 08/24/2013 at 10:36am<b>MxAxRxCxO</b> - the 08/23/2013 at 5:56pm<b>GrinchFu1</b> - the 08/21/2013 at 5:12pm<b>georjayy</b> - the 08/20/2013 at 8:51pm<b>JTW_917</b> - the 08/20/2013 at 4:28am<b>chellee_</b> - the 08/19/2013 at 2:31pm<b>Conn3ct</b> - the 08/19/2013 at 1:27pm<b>Nohman</b> - the 08/19/2013 at 8:39am

greeneyegirl's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of greeneyegirl's badges

greeneyegirl's favorite FMLs

Today , I heard crashing noises coming from my dining room. I got up to see wat it was; my asshat cat was flinging himself at my chandelier. He'd figured out how to grab the ceiling fan from the other room , build momentum , an launch into my expensive chandelier. Hooray. real FML

#20929956
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46036) - you deserved it (4877)

On 10/22/2013 at 5:12am - animals - by IamAflyingCat - United States

today I woke up wit a raging angover . I soon cecked ma pone.. . only to find tat I'd drunkenly sent nude picture to several friends' numbers.. . as well as to ma own . I'd ten replied to ma own message.. . saying tat I'm not gay and telling myself to fuck off . FML

#20925183
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27298) - you deserved it (39161)

On 10/18/2013 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Yesterday, my mom let me stay home from school, because I was sick. We both agreed not to tell my dad, since he's adamant that I never miss even one day of school. A few hours after my mom left 4 work, he came back home, with another woman. FML

#20925128
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68750) - you deserved it (3212)

On 10/18/2013 at 12:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Hordaland)

today I was talking to mah husband about our favorite TV show, when he took mah face in his hands and sweetly whisperd, "You're so pretty. Why must you ruin it with words?" real FML

#20880791
102 comments

Today, After Swimming In The Pool, I Went Into The Shower. Little Did I Know That Mah Niece Was Hiding In There. She Excitedly Yelled "I Saw Yur Boobs!" Now Mah Nephew Won't Stop Crying Because He Didn't Get To See Them As Well. FML

#20831181
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51392) - you deserved it (4077)

On 08/10/2013 at 8:04pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

TODAY, I RETURND FROM A LONG BUSINES TRIP A DAY EARLY TO SURPRISE WIFE. SHE WAS SLEEPING, SO I CLIMBD INTO BD AND STARTD SPOONING HER. THINKING I WAS AN INTRUDER, SHE SIMULTANEOUSLY KICKD ME IN THE GROIN, ELBOWD ME IN THE RIBS, AND SMACKD THE BACK OF HER HEAD INTO JAW. FML

#20805942
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43629) - you deserved it (24610)

On 07/27/2013 at 4:03am - love - by good_aim (man) - United States (California)

Today... I was in a training about the newest change in CPR. The trainer was discussing chest compression technique an said she prefer "good... fast... hard pumping." I was the only one who snickerd out loud... drawing several annoyd looks from the other trainees. I'm a 45-year-old doctor. big fat FML

#20803758
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39029) - you deserved it (18609)

On 07/25/2013 at 11:15pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I found out that even though my boyfriend thinks that peieng on me in the shower is acceptable, he will still freak out an call me disgusting if I try to use the toilet while he's taking a shower!! FML

#20801125
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52188) - you deserved it (5925)

On 07/24/2013 at 12:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Alaska)

TODAY, MY GIRLFRIEND WAS SITTING ON MY LAP AT A BIRTHDAY PARTY. SHE THOUGHT IT WOULD BE FUNNY TO FART. I CUMMED INSTANTLY. FML

#20785133
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59735) - you deserved it (21057)

On 07/15/2013 at 9:42pm - intimacy - by needsnewshorts (man) - United States (California)

Today... my five-year-old daughter called the police to report her stolen nose. FML

#20769088
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53095) - you deserved it (9162)

On 07/07/2013 at 5:57pm - kids - by nosestealer (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that every time mah girlfriend takes a big dump, she pretends as if she's giving birth and screams uncontrollably. I just moved in with her. big fat FML

#20638599
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48554) - you deserved it (5179)

On 05/03/2013 at 7:32am - health - by poopydaddy - Canada (Ontario)

I lerend my husband has what he calls "grumpy wife sex" specifically to cheer me up. I looool don't know if I'm more annoyd that he casually mentiond it after we've been together 4 10 yeres , or that it actually works. FML

#20636797
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45409) - you deserved it (13437)

On 05/02/2013 at 11:59am - intimacy - by MommaAnnie (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today... I was given a powerful laxative to clear me out. I can't go to the bathroom because the four guests of my sleeping roommate are looool all sitting in dead silence against the paper-thin bathroom wall. FML

#20597317
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34141) - you deserved it (3556)

On 04/16/2013 at 7:13pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today... I was dancing wit an incredibly sexy man at a club. He was grinding on me wen e leaned over and said... "If I was straigt... I would make you my queen." FML

#20548252
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40229) - you deserved it (5741)

On 03/17/2013 at 8:10pm - love - by noooooooo (woman) - United States (North Carolina)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: