Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About greeneyebeauty9 : i'm gabriella. i'm 16 years young. i'm half Hispanic, half Serbian. aries. ♡☆ also, i'm very outgoing. i'm about 4'10, eh maybe a lil shorter at about 100 pounds. i'm a pretty laid back girl.. i love food, cuz well.. you know.. food. this web site entertains me. i have a boyfriend who makes me very happy, so screw off. I may be too young for love, but I can sure as hell like someone if i want. keep your opinions to yourself. if you're going to write me with a flirtatious message, then it's no use because I won't reply. thought I'd let you know now. I'm in an interracial relationship so don't make any racist remarks toward me for the simple fact that I don't tolerate it. I occasionally like to correct grammar. my own grammer isn't the best but I try. this is pretty much all you need to know about me. go on with your day and proceed to have a nice life. OH! I'm also here if you ever just need someone to talk to. I'm all ears.☆ 10/11/12 ♥
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Today, my girlfriend and I were quite drunk while we were fooling around on the couch, when I decided I wanted to lose my virginity to her. I was two thrusts in when she burst out laughing. Looking down, I realized I was between her cheeks and the couch cushion. I lost my virginity to her couch. FML
Today, I was driving along when I noticed a kid struggling to push his car up the crest of a hill. I jumped out to help him, and he acted surprised to see me. Once we got the car over the hill, it rolled on down. I then saw that no one was actually in the driver's seat. I'd helped a vandal. FML
Today, I invited my best friend to sleep on my couch while he looks for a new place. He walked inside, dropped his stuff on the floor and asked me my policy on hookers. I laughed it off as a joke. Half an hour later my doorbell rang. He took my laughter as a yes. FML
Today, I was in the process of finally losing my virginity. Part-way through, my neighbour started shouting from his backyard, "Go, Nicolas! You can do it!" He was talking to his son, but the two of us have the same name. I couldn't finish. FML
Today, I was applying for jobs online when my father called. When I told him what I was doing, he said in all seriousness that I should just be a sugar baby. I said he must be joking, but he replied, "Honey, if I had your tits, I'd never work a day in my life." 5ML
Today, my boyfriend of 6 years told me that since I've proven my loyalty and faithfully stuck by his side, he has no reason to ever consider marrying me, because "It's not like you're going anywhere, honey." He seems not to understand why I am upset by this. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. After a while, he started staring at my lady parts, and said my "vag looks like a mockingjay". He then stretched the lips apart like wings and made little "CA-CAW CA-CAW!" sounds. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend's dad for permission to take her hand in marriage. He said no, because he doesn't want her marrying a "sexist idiot who treats her like property", which he thinks asking permission amounts to, then told me to grow up. FML
Today, while I was fooling around with my girlfriend, she hurt her hand. It obviously wasn't very serious, so I told her to stop faking it. She responded, "Wanna know what I actually fake? My orgasms." FML
Thursday 23 April 2015