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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 1198
  • Number of comments : 122
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About green_eggs_and_h : I'm here to read of other people's catastrophic conundrums and misfortunes, laugh, procrastinate from doing anything productive and receive your angry messages that you have formulated with only the best regards of my well being and have spent wasting your oh-so-valuable time concocting. There is a 93.6% that I will not bother reading your heart-warming remarks, due to the fact that I do not care enough to bother caring. I can't help but be a snarky, sarcastic, little bastard. I'm truly very sorry. And although I hold myself to the standard of somewhat-decent-grammar, I don't believe I possess the obligation to attempt to correct anyone who may hold themselves to lower standards. Therefore without further ado, I'm thrilled to announce I am not a grammar Nazi. Sometimes.

Post script: 93.6% of statistics are made up on the spot!

green_eggs_and_h's page activity

Visits<b>DerSuldam</b> - the 03/26/2016 at 7:03pm<b>izzyrose898</b> - the 12/28/2015 at 12:15am<b>Raleaf</b> - the 12/15/2015 at 7:15pm<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 9:04pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 9:05pm<b>krisse876</b> - the 11/03/2014 at 2:17pm<b>cocainewhore</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 6:36pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 6:59pm<b>Narttu</b> - the 04/09/2014 at 1:37pm<b>turkeylegz</b> - the 12/05/2013 at 7:05pm<b>kiddo42</b> - the 08/06/2011 at 6:47pm<b>perdix</b> - the 07/17/2011 at 10:36pm<b>lixone</b> - the 07/03/2011 at 2:14am<b>CaptainPickles72</b> - the 06/24/2011 at 1:53pm<b>aimdya</b> - the 06/20/2011 at 12:29am<b>DocBastard</b> - the 06/19/2011 at 10:41pm

green_eggs_and_h's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

green_eggs_and_h's favorite FMLs

Today, a guy who I hate commented on my Facebook profile picture that I "look like I've fallen off the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down." 60 people liked this, including my boyfriend and best friend. FML

by chloeguest97 / 09/20/2011 at 11:15am / United Kingdom (Solihull) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got kicked in the crotch. It popped my cherry. I lost my virginity to a shoe. FML

by Anonymous / 09/19/2011 at 10:39am / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, a five year old that I am babysitting picked up a knife and said he would chop my nuts off if I didn't give him his ice cream before dinner. Only 5 more hours to go. FML

by thatoneguy / 09/05/2011 at 4:23pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, I was pulled over for a DWI. The police officer was drunk. FML

by ironic driver / 09/04/2011 at 6:10pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to a text from a girl I had slept with two nights ago. It read, "Please don't get mad if you notice a rash on your private parts. Sorry in advance." FML

by SterlingSilver91 / 09/03/2011 at 7:49pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I went to the movies. I was seated next to a woman who talked through the film and said: "Awwww" every time she saw a primate. I went to see 'Rise of Planet of the Apes'. FML

by RensM / 08/20/2011 at 5:54am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Miscellaneous

Today, the girl of my dreams that I've been dating for months called me. Apparently she's been having recurring nightmares of me cheating on her. She dumped me "just in case." FML

by Username / 08/20/2011 at 5:20am / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I got dumped by my boyfriend because he is tired of everyone giving him shit about my ginger hair. FML

by ginger / 08/19/2011 at 6:38am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Love

Today, I walked in on my parents discussing how to kill our cat, and how to make it look like an accident. FML

by Anonymous / 08/18/2011 at 9:38am / United Kingdom (Bexley) / Animals

Today, I met my new neighbor. His wi-fi access point is named "TheRapistDownstairs." FML

by creepedoutlady / 08/15/2011 at 8:30pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my family dragged me to an Alien-themed museum. They're convinced they were once abducted and felt up by creatures from outer space. They talk, and spend all their money, on nothing else. I'm hungry. FML

by Help / 08/13/2011 at 7:21pm / United States / Geek

Today, after pulling an all-nighter, I fell asleep at the beach. My friends took the opportunity to bury me in the sand, place food all around me, and wait for a flock of hungry seagulls to attack me. To top it off, they taped it all. FML

by Anonymous / 08/13/2011 at 3:12pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up at my girlfriend's house. She was staring at me, holding a knife over my face. She ran away, giggling. FML

by bTOhno / 08/13/2011 at 2:37am / United States (Oklahoma) / Love

Today, I got into a fight with my boyfriend. The only thing he could think of to cheer me up was to give me "permission" to give him a blowjob. FML

by noway / 08/10/2011 at 1:47pm / Singapore / Intimacy

Today, my dad taped a picture of me to the fridge with "Do not feed the she-beast" written on it. FML

by jgdgjyfg / 07/25/2011 at 3:21am / United Kingdom (Rotherham) / Health