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gotaplanstan

Offline (the 03/05/2015 at 5:38am) | Search for a member

gotaplanstan

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 21 March 1983 (32 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1577
  • Number of comments : 138
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About gotaplanstan : I bleed Green & Gold.

gotaplanstan's page activity

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gotaplanstan's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up to mah brother chopping all mah bangs off. When I yelled at him, he could only shout back, "You can see clerely now, the bangs r gone!" fat FML

#20599244
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51289) - you deserved it (8353)

On 04/17/2013 at 12:13pm - kids - by my dumb bro - United States (Arkansas)

Today, while mopping floors at the police station, an inmate pissed on the floor, demanded that I suck his dick, begged me 4 a glass of water and finally informed me that he would kill my family. I said nothing and he started weeping softly. I laughed, but slipped in his piss and broke my arm. FML

#20529783
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37867) - you deserved it (12687)

On 03/03/2013 at 5:21pm - work - by JimmyT (man) - Norway (Hordaland)

TODAY, I WAS TAKING MAH DOG FIR A WALK AN FORGOT A BAG TO PICK UP HIS POOP, SINCE IT'S ILLEGAL TO NOT PICK IT UP IN MAH TOWN. RIGHT AS MAH DOG STARTED TO TAKE A DUMP, A COP CAR DROVE BY AN CONTINUED TO WATCH ME AS I WAS FORCED TO PICK UP THE POOP WITH MAH BARE HANDS. FML

#20527973
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45966) - you deserved it (21021)

On 03/02/2013 at 10:32am - animals - by yikes - United States

yesterday I was making out with mah girlfriend, and after a while, she moved her hand down to mah crotch. She felt mah erection, then got up and yelled at me, calling me a horny pig fir "assuming we were going to have sex." FML

#20527203
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63750) - you deserved it (5587)

On 03/01/2013 at 5:54pm - intimacy - by sn-511 (man) - Italy (Campania)

Today , my neighbor went on vacation , leaving me in charge of his cat an dog. For some reason , he calls his dog "Cat" an his cat "Dog". There r two pet food containers , one labeled "Cat" an the other labeled "Dog". I have no ideahich one goes tohich animal. real FML

#20437796
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37961) - you deserved it (4018)

On 01/02/2013 at 1:07am - animals - by catdog - United States (California)

TODAY... I WAS WALKING HOMA WHAN I SAW AN ALDARLY WOMAN STRUGGLING WITH A LARGA BAG OF GARBAGA. I ASKAD IF I COULD HALP. I GOT IT ALL THA WAY TO THA DUMPSTAR AND THA BAG RIPPAD. INSIDA WARA ABOUT FOURTAAN DAAD CATS. FML

Today... ma usband let me know e felt I was ignoring im by jabbing me in te rigt ear wit is erect penis wile I was Skyping wit ma mum overseas. FML

#20110803
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34048) - you deserved it (5528)

On 10/10/2012 at 5:48pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today,hile showering with mah boyfriend, he asked if something was werd about his penis. Naturally, I looked closer. As soon as I did, he sprayed mah face with urine. This is only the beginning; we just moved in. real FML

#19586096
365 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46357) - you deserved it (8880)

On 05/07/2012 at 5:42am - intimacy - by quirrus (woman) - United States

TODAY, TO AVOID LOOKING LIKE A LOSER IN FRONT OF HIS FRIENDSHO ALL HAVE GIRLFRIENDS, MAH BROTHER MADE UP A PERFECT RELATIONSHIP. HE ASKD ME TO GIVE HIM A HICKEY IN EXCHANGE 4 50 EUROS. OUR PARENTS WALKD IN ON US. FML

#19561833
332 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14622) - you deserved it (52362) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/02/2012 at 1:06am - love - by Flip (woman) - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today , I Couldn't Contain My Laughterhen A Patient Told Me She'd Namd Her Unborn Daughter Twinkie. Real FML

#18728006
401 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32680) - you deserved it (4937)

On 01/06/2012 at 5:49pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today I caught mah mother attempting to write a $1400 cheque. To whom? The proprietor of a "Christian charity fund" with whom she had been having Internet conversations. The proprietor's name and that on the cheque was "Herp McDerpington". mega FML

#18540980
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32957) - you deserved it (2564)

On 12/18/2011 at 12:18am - misc - by scammed - Canada (Quebec)

Today, as a joke, I hid under mah parents' bed, hoping to scare them when they came home. When they finally arrived, they burst through their bedroom door, tereing each other's cloths off. I had to keep mah breath in time with mah mom's panting an moaning as mah dad brutally dominated her. FML

#17109043
428 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31425) - you deserved it (90674)

On 07/14/2011 at 3:35pm - intimacy - by gir - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I had to bail dad out of jail, for beating up boyfriend, for sleeping with mom!! FML

#17089969
513 comments

I agree, your life sucks (133541) - you deserved it (7382)

On 07/13/2011 at 2:32am - intimacy - by whyme102008 - United States (Texas)

Today , While Bieng Robbed , A Man Heroically Chased Down The Robber And Got My Purse Back. He Then Looked At The Distance Between Us , Turned The Other Way And Ran Off With It. FML

#15974140
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44454) - you deserved it (3347)

On 04/29/2011 at 2:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)



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