Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

gotaplanstan

Offline (4 hours ago) | Search for a member

gotaplanstan

3Fucked!

gotaplanstan
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 21 March 1983 (32 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2279
  • Number of comments : 150
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About gotaplanstan : I bleed Green & Gold.

gotaplanstan's page activity

Visits<b>chinaski7628</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 7:00pm<b>Ashd09</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 6:49pm<b>faerieonacid</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 3:46pm<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 2:26pm<b>eski2015</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 10:29pm<b>Ipeh</b> - the 01/15/2016 at 3:04am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 10:06pm<b>eyepuppy</b> - the 12/30/2015 at 6:42pm<b>interesting33</b> - the 12/17/2015 at 5:56pm<b>By_The_9</b> - the 11/24/2015 at 4:44pm<b>fringeisawesome</b> - the 10/09/2015 at 3:33pm<b>americanafrican</b> - the 09/19/2015 at 4:38pm<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 09/18/2015 at 11:36am<b>Anastazia_</b> - the 09/16/2015 at 2:26pm<b>zjay</b> - the 09/15/2015 at 9:01pm<b>maddie_xo</b> - the 09/15/2015 at 8:04pm<b>nabeelamakani</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 11:56pm<b>SpartanGirl94</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 3:45pm

Fucked!<b>interesting33</b> - the 12/18/2015 at 12:00am<b>americanafrican</b> - the 09/19/2015 at 10:38pm<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 09/18/2015 at 5:36pm

gotaplanstan's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of gotaplanstan's badges

gotaplanstan's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom came into my room to give me a goodbye kiss. Due to the routine of my girlfriend doing the exact same thing in the exact same spot, I held the kiss way longer than what a mother/son kiss should last. My mom actually had to tell me to "let go". FML

#20839296
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37239) - you deserved it (28891)

On 08/15/2013 at 9:06pm - misc - by deadman (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was told that my son has Twitter and Facebook accounts that he uses to try to bully people online, some of which are celebrities. He does it really badly, though. FML

#20837780
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40439) - you deserved it (7059)

On 08/14/2013 at 10:02pm - misc - by ShitStirringSon (man) - United States (California)

Today, I caught my new neighbor sticking his knob inside my car and pissing on my seats. His reason? I parked in his spot. FML

#20834187
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41709) - you deserved it (7821)

On 08/12/2013 at 6:47pm - misc - by wildwonder808 (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was at a job interview for a position I really needed. Somehow, the interviewer and I started talking about fishing. I joked, "I'm a master baiter." Needless to say, I didn't get the job. FML

#20833743
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29917) - you deserved it (42067)

On 08/12/2013 at 1:11pm - work - by master baiter - United States (New York)

Today, I stopped at a red light, when I noticed the car in front of me was in reverse. I honked at the driver, hoping he'd realize and place the car in drive. He thought the light turned green and immediately backed into me. FML

#20828404
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48877) - you deserved it (6088)

On 08/09/2013 at 1:00am - misc - by please don't back that thing up - United States

Today, in the middle of examining me, my gynecologist suddenly took a sharp intake of breath and vomited on the floor. FML

#20826932
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60051) - you deserved it (16814)

On 08/08/2013 at 7:10am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Latvia (Jelgavas)

Today, I discovered that my wife named our kids after her former lovers. We have two sons and a daughter. FML

#20819538
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52348) - you deserved it (5247)

On 08/03/2013 at 11:29pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Delaware)

Today, my 18-year-old daughter texted me and told me that she got in a car crash. She texted, "I forgot wich way wus left lol" and then quickly added "yolo right? Lol". FML

#20814697
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62600) - you deserved it (11441)

On 08/01/2013 at 2:21am - kids - by father of the year - United States

Today, I finished the kayak I have been working on for four years. I can't get it out of my basement. FML

#20811304
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42992) - you deserved it (25052)

On 07/30/2013 at 10:13am - misc - by kayak probs - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I finished off the last of the BBQ chips in the house. When my 6-year-old sister found out about it, she started screaming, then pulled down her pants and peed on the kitchen floor. My parents, after witnessing the whole thing, bitched me out for upsetting her. FML

#20806438
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59065) - you deserved it (4556)

On 07/27/2013 at 2:31pm - kids - by poopiter (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Instead of moaning like any normal person, he just kept saying stuff like "uh-huh," "not too bad," and "yup" in a complete monotone. It was probably the most uncomfortable experience of my life. FML

#20804720
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70078) - you deserved it (7082)

On 07/26/2013 at 2:00pm - intimacy - by awkward (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I helped my buddy write a sweet love letter to his girlfriend. After reading it, she dumped him for being an "Edward Cullen wannabe", and when my girlfriend found out, she dumped me for "cheating" on her by writing the letter in the first place. FML

#20802821
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50949) - you deserved it (5895)

On 07/25/2013 at 12:17pm - love - by ........................... (man) - Mexico (Distrito Federal)

Today, one of my coworkers asked if I hated my life and was depressed because of how I look most of the time. This is just my facial expression. FML

#20802256
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40531) - you deserved it (4840)

On 07/25/2013 at 12:44am - work - by anon - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was removing large shrubs from a house. I heard my co-worker yell something, but I couldn't hear him, so I just pulled the stump out anyway. What I realized too late was that he was telling me that there was a swarm of bees living behind the stump. FML

#20794428
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41971) - you deserved it (11528)

On 07/20/2013 at 5:44pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my dentist dropped dead of a heart attack. This depressing event was made worse by the fact that he collapsed while his hands were in my mouth. FML



FML's blog

  • Eni's illustrated FML
  • Greetings worshipers of lines and colours! This week, with the help of a talented young illustrator we’re checking kids out. No, not like that. Damn, that sounded bad. We’re taking a different look a…

Friday 12 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: