golferman72

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Offline (the 11/07/2015 at 7:47am)

golferman72

7Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 7043
  • Number of comments : 76
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About golferman72 : I read FML every day when I am bored

golferman72's page activity

Visits<b>thatguy1531</b> - the 05/23/2016 at 10:45pm<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 05/20/2016 at 8:56pm<b>alexishbu</b> - the 03/25/2016 at 7:01pm<b>GirlGamer12345</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 3:07pm<b>imshadyxo</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 3:55am<b>toastbrot</b> - the 01/05/2016 at 2:50am<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 4:51am<b>konan__</b> - the 12/18/2015 at 1:49am<b>breckinwayne</b> - the 11/08/2015 at 4:38am<b>lebanesebarbie</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 8:42pm<b>SnowFangedBeauty</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 4:09am<b>Driving_Gaming</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 4:44pm<b>em_kidds</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 7:03pm<b>noelsom7</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 1:51pm<b>stephanieeee95</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 12:40am<b>EvilTurtle</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 6:56pm<b>cecesavannah2015</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 6:09pm<b>hater4lizife</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 8:20pm

Fucked!<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 12/18/2015 at 3:54am<b>SnowFangedBeauty</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 10:07am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 9:16pm<b>annarcheer</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 11:31pm<b>Miranda_F</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 3:55am

golferman72's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of golferman72's badges

golferman72's favorite FMLs

Today, I was taking the biggest shit of my life. When I worked the thing out, it hit the water with such force that I got a toilet water enema from the backwash. I was so freaked out that I screamed and fell off the seat, prompting my husband to rush in to see what was wrong. FML

by traumatized / 04/12/2014 at 2:07pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I witnessed my roommate telling a girl that he has "really healthy shits". I wanted to make fun of him, but he got laid by said girl and I went home to jerk off. FML

by damn / 04/09/2014 at 5:12pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, my overly-attached 14-year-old cat wanted attention while I was in a heated Skype argument with my girlfriend. Worked up from the fight, I raised my voice and said, "Not now, go away!" He ran to his little bed, had a heart attack and died. I was a complete dick to my cat in his last moments. FML

by Brody89 / 04/09/2014 at 2:40pm / United States (Washington) / Animals

Today, fed up with my nerdy appearance, I got my hair shaved off, hoping for a Walter White kind of look. I didn't think it was too bad, but not even an hour later, I'd already been called a "fat Bruce Willis" and compared to a freshly circumcised penis. FML

by richard / 03/21/2014 at 12:10pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went on my sixth date with a guy I was beginning to really like. He asked if I'd mind if his friend Pete met up with us afterwards. I said sure. Turns out "Pete" is his penis. FML

Today, I had to pull one of those toy stretchy hands out of my dog's butthole. It slapped me in the face when I finally got it out. FML

by anonymous / 07/17/2013 at 12:48am / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, my girlfriend was sitting on my lap at a birthday party. She thought it would be funny to fart. I came instantly. FML

by needsnewshorts / 07/15/2013 at 9:42pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, while sexting my girlfriend, I accidently sent a picture to her father instead of her. He sent back a link to a penis enlargement company's website. FML

by tinypenis / 06/04/2013 at 8:15am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to set parental controls on my iPad so my dad couldn't watch dirty videos on Youtube. FML

by Anonymous / 05/31/2013 at 12:20am / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy

Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time to meet my parents. They were having a heated argument because my mom had bought "the wrong toilet paper" and my dad was angry because "she should know that he has a sensitive anus". FML

by Sonofa / 05/17/2013 at 11:52am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk, except it wasn't really a talk, but rather him making me watch a hardcore porn video with him as he commented on what the actors were doing. I had to listen to all this and ignore his obvious erection for almost an hour. FML

by more than I wanted to know / 05/13/2013 at 3:10pm / Italy (Emilia-Romagna) / Intimacy

Today, I babysat a 4-year-old child for my neighbor. It seems he had diarrhea. The evidence of this is in his pants, down his leg, on the couch, on the bathroom floor, smeared on my wall, and in the shape of a brown handprint on my shirt. FML

by Aunjy / 05/05/2013 at 4:49pm / United States (New Jersey) / Kids

Today, my dumbass colleague was too lazy to go buy balloons for a party in recognition of our company's huge merger. Instead, he made condom balloons. Let's just say you don't make blow up condoms for a prestigious company event. A company whose CEO is named Dick. FML

by ADickySituation / 05/05/2013 at 12:14am / United States (Illinois) / Work

Today, I was hitting on a cute girl on the bus. It was going well, and she gave me her name to add on Facebook. Since I didn't have the app, I opened Safari on my phone. It opened to my video from Pornhub I watched yesterday and started playing, on full volume, through the entire bus. FML

by acnecream / 05/03/2013 at 9:23am / Finland (Eastern Finland) / Transportation

Today, my wife shaved her pubic hair so that it resembles Hitler's mustache. She won't stop referring to it as "the Clitler". FML

by Anonymous / 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous