Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

golfer_boi

Search for a member

golfer_boi
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 29 November 1992 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 1615
  • Number of comments : 31
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

golfer_boi's last visitors

hedgehog42suicidalchickREFFmehermStealth05JesusPiecewilwonksarleenxo

golfer_boi's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of golfer_boi's badges

golfer_boi's favorite FMLs

Today, I lit my beard on fire while trying to light a cigarette driving to work. I got fired from work when I got there because of my appearance. FML

#20507167
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11785) - you deserved it (38210)

On 02/14/2013 at 8:55pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I realised in the middle of my shift how useless my deodorant is in the stifling heatwave spreading through my country. It's no longer effective against my awful B.O., which is a problem because I'm a mascot, and my costume traps the smell inside like a portable toilet. FML

#20469816
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26575) - you deserved it (4290)

On 01/20/2013 at 5:13pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, I told my mom we get Monday off due to Martin Luther King Jr. day. She then insisted that I had to go to school because that is "only for black people." FML

#20461178
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32166) - you deserved it (2302)

On 01/15/2013 at 6:16pm - misc - by Sydney - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at a party with my crush. The collar on his shirt was sticking up so I fixed it for him. He gave me a hug and said, "Aww you're so good to me. You're like my mother. You can be my college mother." I got mother-zoned. FML

#20458655
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44775) - you deserved it (5466)

On 01/14/2013 at 7:56am - love - by shiney100893 (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, my skydiving instructor casually remarked that he wouldn't mind "diving into" me sometime. He was strapped to my back the whole way down. FML

#20434488
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34539) - you deserved it (3089)

On 12/31/2012 at 5:44pm - intimacy - by _The__Doctor_ (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my 14-year-old daughter came home after sneaking out and partying. She was totally drunk, and started crying on my shoulder because some boy named "Thomas" has a small dick, and she had to fake an orgasm. FML

#20419819
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75784) - you deserved it (23121)

On 12/24/2012 at 10:03pm - intimacy - by valnaj1 (woman) - Denmark (Syddanmark)

Today, my mother-in-law, who apparently made a copy of our house key without permission, walked in on my husband and me doing the deed. She went crazy, yelling at me for "defiling" her son. Last week, she yelled at me for not having given her grand-children yet. FML

#20405524
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52879) - you deserved it (3518)

On 12/18/2012 at 12:09pm - intimacy - by daughterinlaw (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my parents heard from my sister that I'd recently lost my virginity to my girlfriend. I've never been bitched out so viciously in my life, and yet my sister, whom everyone knows has had numerous casual sexual partners this year, is treated like a princess 24/7. FML

#20188038
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21848) - you deserved it (1708)

On 12/02/2012 at 1:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Suffolk)

Today, I decided to go meet up with a guy that I met online for the first time. All he could talk about was how he expects me to "clean, cook, and submit" my body for sex at least twice a day when we get married. FML

#20173484
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20244) - you deserved it (5233)

On 11/22/2012 at 4:39am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my friends and I were playing truth or dare game. It was late and we were drunk, so they dared me to run naked into my neighbor's yard while yelling, "Help! The pixies took my penis!" I ran screaming right into their big family reunion. FML

#20172584
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6911) - you deserved it (31025)

On 11/21/2012 at 4:06pm - misc - by nekkidness (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my friends and I were playing truth or dare game. It was late and we were drunk, so they dared me to run naked into my neighbor's yard while yelling, "Help! The pixies took my penis!" I ran screaming right into their big family reunion. FML

#20172584
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6911) - you deserved it (31025)

On 11/21/2012 at 4:06pm - misc - by nekkidness (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I'm now about 15 pounds overweight. When I called him a hypocrite as he's over 40 pounds overweight, he said that his weight didn't matter because "it's the girl's job to look hot." FML

#20171204
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28158) - you deserved it (4328)

On 11/20/2012 at 4:57pm - health - by thinner than you (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, after losing twenty pounds to please my husband, the only comment I received was, "At least now only your personality sucks." FML

#20143873
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26941) - you deserved it (4314)

On 11/02/2012 at 12:17am - love - by 123alleyesonme - United States (Texas)

Today, at my school they were having a carnival to raise money. One of the patrons suggested that if they wanted to make money, they should have people pledge money to make me cover my ugly face with a bag. The school got over $500, and I had to wear a bag. FML

#20143313
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26531) - you deserved it (2152)

On 11/01/2012 at 7:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, multiple people admired my elaborate face paint. This happens every Halloween, at least every Halloween since I got badly burnt in a car accident. FML

#20142623
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38518) - you deserved it (1436)

On 11/01/2012 at 7:17am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Kingston upon Hull, City of)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: