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goldenone

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goldenone
  • Town/Country : Houston, TX, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 29 August 1991 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 693
  • Number of comments : 163
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About goldenone : I'm here. what's up?

goldenone's last visitors

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You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

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Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

goldenone's favorite FMLs

Today, I sent my grandma a naked picture instead of my girlfriend. While attempting to delete it, I sent it again. FML

#18153680
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15271) - you deserved it (45105)

On 11/04/2011 at 12:38am - intimacy - by me (man) - United States (California)

Today, I met my new neighbor. His wi-fi access point is named "TheRapistDownstairs." FML

#17483730
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31700) - you deserved it (2552)

On 08/15/2011 at 8:30pm - misc - by creepedoutlady - United States

Today, my boss sat me down to discuss the sounds my co-workers have heard coming from my cubicle. Apparently my music sounds like the background tracks from shitty soft-core porn movies. I'm getting a three day suspension while they go through all my files. FML

#17343796
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24831) - you deserved it (4474)

On 08/02/2011 at 1:47pm - work - by ImScrewed (man) - United States (California)

Today, I skipped school and stayed home without telling my parents. My mom came home on her lunch break with another man, and had sex in our living room. I'm stuck in my room, listening to my mom cheat on my dad. FML

#16168666
372 comments

I agree, your life sucks (102940) - you deserved it (13926)

On 05/14/2011 at 7:15am - intimacy - by ali grace - United States (Texas)

Today, I came home to find that all my porn magazines have been "censored" with a black sharpie. FML

#15874125
296 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21573) - you deserved it (48279)

On 04/21/2011 at 2:30pm - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by creating an account on Runescape; his favorite game. After finding him in-game, I started talking to him, not revealing who I was. After a while, I asked him if he had a girlfriend. He promptly said no and asked me for nude pics. FML

#14909703
336 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49073) - you deserved it (13032)

On 02/09/2011 at 2:22pm - love - by Samyett (woman) - United States

Today, my fiancé and I just moved into our first apartment together. Our neighbor across the hall? My ex-boyfriend who I've had to file three separate restraining orders on. FML

#14740346
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27290) - you deserved it (4449)

On 01/28/2011 at 4:12am - love - by ashdk -

Today, I had to repeat my order in Starbucks three times because the barista was staring at my chest. FML

#14572536
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22083) - you deserved it (10915)

On 01/13/2011 at 11:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland

Today, I was in a store when a child looked at me and said to his mother "look at that tall man!" His mother replied "he's an evil giant isn't he, darling?" I then mimed being an evil giant to make the kid laugh. His mother slapped me. FML

#13140704
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32097) - you deserved it (4294)

On 09/21/2010 at 8:44am - kids - by cganon - United Kingdom

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend watching a home made sex tape he had previously made with his ex-girlfriend. What's worse than him jerking off to it? He was crying and hugging a pillow. FML

#7811688
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29835) - you deserved it (2460)

On 02/02/2010 at 10:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML

#5828114
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84209) - you deserved it (13910)

On 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out that my sister who is 16 years older than me is actually my biological mother. She and my parents decided it was best that I didn't know who my real mother was, and to be raised by my grandparents as their child. I've always hated my sister. FML

#5701860
309 comments

I agree, your life sucks (144456) - you deserved it (5023)

On 10/07/2009 at 12:07pm - misc - by dinosaurman (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was playing one on one soccer with a girl like. I accidentally kicked the ball right into her face. The ball rolled back towards me and as I was running to see if she was ok, I kicked the ball... right into her face again. FML

#1452410
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59801) - you deserved it (27541)

On 04/29/2009 at 10:35am - misc - by hyper12332 (man) - Australia (Victoria)



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