About ghostlilac : green day, billy talent, weezer fan. canadian. have been described as "wonderfully awkward" and "sheldon cooper-esque".
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ghostlilac's favorite FMLs
by rotezora / 09/02/2012 at 8:44am / Switzerland (Basel-Stadt) / Love
Today, my boyfriend texted me, saying, "I'm running a bath. Wanna come over and learn about water displacement?" I excitedly drove over, thinking he wanted to have some fun. No, he really did want to teach me about water displacement. FML
by Anonymous / 08/29/2012 at 12:38pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy
Today, I was at Starbucks after having a rough day. The old man beside me was talking to his friend. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him point at me and say, "See that beautiful girl over there?" Flattered, I listened closer, until he finished his statement with, "She's gonna die." FML
by scared to leave the house / 08/20/2012 at 5:14am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
by SquishFish / 08/17/2012 at 12:08am / United States (Massachusetts) / Love
by Anonymous / 08/14/2012 at 1:16am / United States (Nebraska) / Intimacy
Today, a guy said to me, "I'd really love to see that smile back at my place." Trying to be cute, I asked him if he was single. He replied with, "No, but I am a dentist. I could definitely fix that crossbite." FML
by wut / 08/05/2012 at 1:23am / United States / Health
Today, my friend and I were discussing music bands, and I asked who her favorite Queen member is. She looked at me like I was from another world and said, "I don't have a favorite British queen. That's like, so weird." FML
by fuckingbeliebers / 08/04/2012 at 1:15pm / United States (Maine) / Miscellaneous
Today, at work in a nursing home, I had to kill imaginary dogs in the lunch room, because they were evil and trying to eat everyone. This started with just one person seeing them, to all 30 of them screaming and freaking out. I spent 45 minutes killing imaginary dogs. FML
by justlittleoldme / 07/25/2012 at 5:05pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Work
by Rochelle / 07/25/2012 at 2:14am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I realized that whenever I use emoticons, I tend to make the same face in real life. My coworkers gleefully showed me various pictures with my tongue out, face scrunched up, and so on, while staring at my phone. They've already made their way around the office. FML
by dawn / 07/21/2012 at 12:24pm / Canada (Alberta) / Work
by anonymous / 07/19/2012 at 6:31pm / United States / Love
by cortanaisahobot / 07/19/2012 at 4:29pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML
by Bontempi / 07/19/2012 at 2:55pm / France / Miscellaneous
by Epiphany / 07/19/2012 at 5:01am / United States / Health
by shorty4 / 07/13/2012 at 10:36am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I was at home and my boyfriend called me and said that I'd left my G-string at his house. I… Today, while having sex with my girlfriend in the bathroom, we heard a knock at the door, then her… Today, at the point of orgasm, my boyfriend screamed out, "Is this all there is?!" then rolled over…