About ghostlilac : green day, billy talent, weezer fan. canadian. have been described as "wonderfully awkward" and "sheldon cooper-esque".
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ghostlilac's favorite FMLs
Today, I decided to get over my lifelong fear of Michael Jackson. I went to have my photo taken with a statue of him. Little did I know, for Halloween week they replace the statues with real people. It jumped out at me; I'm never getting over this fear. FML
by Shady_Soldier / 10/31/2013 at 4:41am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
Today, just like the last several days, I walked out to my car after class only to notice the Justin Beiber stickers arranged on my bumper and license plates. My dad put them there, and thinks it's just as hilarious as the first time. He has four packs of stickers left. FML
by NonBelieber / 09/18/2013 at 12:22am / United States (Alabama) / Transportation
by spiritbeast33 / 09/11/2013 at 2:17am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by NoNotCats =^._.^= / 09/03/2013 at 4:17am / United States (Arizona) / Health
by goodbyepromotion / 08/30/2013 at 2:28am / United States (Ohio) / Work
by never thought I'd say that / 08/22/2013 at 3:05pm / Norway (Rogaland) / Transportation
by twatstick / 08/21/2013 at 1:30pm / United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire) / Work
Today, after a long and stressful day, I started fooling around with my boyfriend. When we finally got to the main event, I found out that we couldn't, because he'd used all his condoms to make water balloons. FML
by frustrated / 08/17/2013 at 6:56pm / Ireland (Kerry) / Intimacy
Today, my elderly neighbour was having some kind of house party. It was incredibly loud, so I went and asked if he could tone it down a little. He responded by grabbing a deck chair, smacking me with it, then chasing me back to my house, all while his guests cheered him on. FML
by Anonymous / 08/16/2013 at 4:19pm / Switzerland / Miscellaneous
by kenbez123 / 08/14/2013 at 3:55am / Malta / Miscellaneous
by ew / 08/11/2013 at 9:09am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, it was my son's fifth birthday. I asked my grandmother, who is a baker, to make a birthday cake for the party. Two hours after the party started, she arrived drunk with a large ham with candles in it. FML
by Anonymous / 08/08/2013 at 4:03am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/31/2013 at 12:28pm / Belgium (West-Vlaanderen) / Intimacy
Today, my phone went off, reminding me to take my birth control. Instead of vibrating as per usual, it rang. The ringtone had been changed to my boyfriend singing "It's birth control time, birth control time, take your pill, or I'll say it ain't mine." I was sitting in a quiet waiting room. FML
by turning red / 07/26/2013 at 9:14pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Instead of moaning like any normal person, he just kept saying stuff like "uh-huh," "not too bad," and "yup" in a complete monotone. It was probably the most uncomfortable experience of my life. FML
by awkward / 07/26/2013 at 2:00pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
- Today, while at Wendy's with my boyfriend, I realized that he made more pleasure sounds when eating… Today, I realized the only times my boyfriend ever says "I love you" are after he screws up or when… Today, I was having sex with my new boyfriend, and I realized that he enjoys making airplane sound…