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getzy_garcia
  • Town/Country : somewhere in this universe
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 105
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About getzy_garcia : You're a cutie (:

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getzy_garcia's favorite FMLs

Today, I dropped my suitcase on my toe. Don't worry, it was already broken. FML

#21010276
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38465) - you deserved it (3375)

On 12/30/2013 at 8:07am - health - by laurenasabutton (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, my strict Christian mother walked into my room just after I'd finished masturbating. Although dressed, I was still holding the used tissue, which she noticed. Having to think fast to disguise my deed and avoid an entire sermon, I had no option but to blow my nose with the spunky tissue. FML

#21009159
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43835) - you deserved it (22107)

On 12/29/2013 at 7:36am - intimacy - by Jizzyface (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I went to my bedroom for some alone time while my daughter watched TV. I didn't realize that my iPad was still connected to the Apple TV, until I hit play on some porn and heard a scream from the other room. FML

#21008990
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23611) - you deserved it (49576)

On 12/29/2013 at 2:01am - kids - by ConfusedDad - United States

Today, I took an extra xanax to help with my anxiety, then went to sleep. I guess it was probably too much, because I woke up a few hours later, freaking out and panicking because I was convinced I was a bee trapped in a human body. FML

#21008430
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38730) - you deserved it (9262)

On 12/28/2013 at 4:19pm - health - by beemove (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my parents started fighting at a restaurant. Embarrassed, I went to the restroom to get away and stayed in there for about 15 minutes, knowing how long their fights can last. When I came back, they were gone. They'd ditched me, and left me to walk several miles back home. FML

#21008277
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39005) - you deserved it (4050)

On 12/28/2013 at 1:11pm - misc - by daenerys stromboli (woman) - Ireland (Meath)

Today, my dog has found a new game he likes. It involves him rolling around on my new bed sheets to build up static electricity and run and poke me with his nose so I get shocked. FML

#21008001
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41436) - you deserved it (4617)

On 12/28/2013 at 3:23am - animals - by honeybunny90 - United States (Texas)

Today, after being married for 20 years, I found out that my wife has accounts on multiple dating sites, "just in case." FML

#21007851
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38158) - you deserved it (2903)

On 12/28/2013 at 12:10am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my dad thought it would be funny to wake me up by sprinkling catnip over me then dropping my cat on top of me. FML

#21007541
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34999) - you deserved it (2822)

On 12/27/2013 at 7:05pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I asked my husband to try a little foreplay for once, instead of just rushing into sex. His idea of foreplay was to sweetly whisper that he was going to "penis" me so hard. That's the first time I've heard the word "penis" used as a verb, and hopefully the last. FML

#21007475
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43458) - you deserved it (4923)

On 12/27/2013 at 5:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I went on a 70-mile drive to the next town over to finally meet this beautiful girl I had talked to online. To my surprise, she looked exactly how she did in her pictures, minus the ring on her finger and the fiancé who wanted to punch me in the face. FML

#21006475
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39010) - you deserved it (5049)

On 12/26/2013 at 6:57pm - love - by William Johnson - United States (Alaska)

Today, my boyfriend of five years got me a ring for Christmas. When I opened it, I was speechless and overjoyed. He then said, "It's just a ring. It doesn't mean anything." FML

#21003775
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42783) - you deserved it (4541)

On 12/24/2013 at 3:30pm - love - by Wtfbro (woman) - United States

Today, I got my period, and had to rush to my parents' bathroom for some pads. They'd put all our wrapped presents in their bathroom. As I was looking, my dad thought I was opening presents and barged in, only to see me with my pants around my ankles. Now he won't stop laughing. FML

#21003547
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37996) - you deserved it (3127)

On 12/24/2013 at 12:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my mother was reading an annual Christmas letter from an old university friend. When she remarked that she could have married him instead of my father, I replied that she wouldn't have had me then. She then said, "Exactly, I could have had his daughter instead." FML

#21002184
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41644) - you deserved it (3415)

On 12/23/2013 at 5:44am - kids - by rejected (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I walked in on my daughter lighting candles around one of her friends, who'd fallen asleep while her other friends chanted something in a different language. They still won't tell me what they were doing. FML

#21001182
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46021) - you deserved it (4519)

On 12/22/2013 at 10:36am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Just as he was about to finish, he pulled out and came in his hand. He then flicked his hand towards my face and yelled, "Sha-ZAM!" FML

#20999459
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49295) - you deserved it (7360)

On 12/20/2013 at 6:36pm - intimacy - by zamwow (woman) - United States (New Jersey)



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Thursday 10 April 2014

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